5 Compatibility Tests to Take Before Marrying Your Partner

If you’re a lover of orderliness, or you really love someone but you are unsure If they will be great for you, these compatibility tests will help you. Marriage is not a thing for the faint-hearted, neither is it something to indulge in without first making adequate preparations. Marriages are meant to be lifelong institutions but most do not meet up to that expectation for a variety of reasons.

One of these reasons is Avoidable problems. Avoidable problems are those problems encountered in a marriage that could have been taken care of if only partners were paying attention. These problems which could look insignificant during courtship, have the capacity to overshadow the love and care between spouses.

Like it or not, there is a limited amount of time that you can say “I’m sorry” and soon, both parties sign divorce papers and go their separate ways. Very sad indeed. These problems can be avoided if you take the following tests before marriage to determine how compatible you are with your partner.

5 Compatibility Tests to Take Before Getting Married

1. The Commitment Test

There are things a lot of people take for granted in this fast-moving world and one of them is COMMITMENT. People meet, get to know each other in a month, and then decide to get married. I’m not speaking against marrying someone you love as quickly as you want but I just want you to be sure about what you are getting into.

• Does your partner have commitment issues?
• How long do you think he/she will survive being “shackled” to another person even if that person is you?
• What did he tell you about marriage?
• Does she believe in forever or is she a bird just waiting to fly away at the slightest disturbance?

You need to know these things because they could save you later. You don’t want to discover after having three children that your man never planned to stay. You don’t want to have a divorce because the person you loved and married sees the institution as something to escape.

Be sure of the sincerity of your partner when he says “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”. Commitment is Purpose. If your marriage has no purpose, chances are it is not going to last long. There should be something innate that binds you two together. Love might not do it. Having kids might not do it. That’s why you take vows before you get married. It is a declaration, a restatement of commitment.

2. The Love Test

Love is a tricky thing. It is tricky because it is difficult to measure but then you need to ask yourself these important questions:

• How much does he love me?
• What kind of love is it? The kind that perseveres? Or the type that has a foundation on frivolities.
• If the worst-case scenario in my head actually happens to us, will he/she still love me?
• How much of himself has he given/shown to me?
• What are the sacrifices he has made?
• How much does he try to preserve the dignity of our relationship by being real, honest, and open in situations?
• On a scale of one-to-ten, how much do we complement each other?
• What are the things I like about him and why?
• What are the things I hate about him and why?
• In ten years’ time, will I still find him attractive?

Get a pad, or a notebook, write them down and the answers, then weigh the result. You’ll be shocked at the outcome, and how much it’ll either improve your relationship, or bring what needs to be brought out to light. Some more questions you can ask yourself are:

• Has anyone else ever told me “that guy loves you so much”?
• Has a neutral party ever been jealous of our love?
• What would he do that would break my heart irrevocably?
• Is he an option or a must-have?
• Based on his actions and reactions, how much does he really love me?

When you ask these questions, you will definitely get some interesting answers and might even begin to see things from a different perspective. This seeing is important because it will help you make a wise decision.

3. The Hardship Test

This test is so important. This is where you make a decision about certain things that have the power to destroy your marriage.

Hardship can be described as a state of difficulty. The hardship test is when you find out how your partner reacts to difficulty.

• When things aren’t working out right, does he lash out or crawl back into his shell? Does he begin to address the issue in a logical manner?
• Does his temper get the better of him when there’s an everyday hassle and how does he handle that temper?
• How does he behave after a hard day at work?
• What does he do during and after an argument?
• Do you think he has very little control over his temper?
• How does he behave to other people in times of conflict? Is he violent?

It is silly to believe that a partner with a bad attitude will change just because you hope he will or you believe domestication will change him. That would be going into marriage with your eyes closed and it is very dangerous. Some people never change. When you’re getting married to someone who has a flaw, do it only when you are sure you can live and thrive with that flaw.

4. The Financial Test

We all have different attitudes towards money and debt. These attitudes need to be put out there before marriage. Do you hate debts but your partner is very comfortable with it? That can lead to conflict. Here are some critical questions to help:

• What is your partner’s spending like? How do you intend to spend money while married?
• What job does your partner do and how much does he earn?
• Will your joint efforts be sufficient in sustaining a family?
• Do you have a stable job? Does he?
• Have you ever asked him/her for money and what reaction did you get?
• Is he frugal? Is she wasteful?

These things might seem small but they have the potential of growing to be the giant elephant in the room.

5. The Medical Tests

Taking medical tests before marriage is very important. If you are African, you might already know how important it is to take a blood group test for sickle cell anemia. Here some quality questions to consider:

• Does your partner have any underlying health conditions?
  • Is it terminal?
  • Is it genetic?
• Would you mind having children that might inherit that illness from your partner?

Ask yourself these questions before you walk down the aisle with the man of your dreams. Fertility tests are also very important because hidden infertility could spell doom for a growing family. Imagine a scenario where one partner desperately wants children and the other partner hides his/her infertility problems. Be rest assured that there will be hell to pay when the truth finally comes out.

Bonus: The Cheating Test

This last one which I can call a sub test is also very important. You need to have some idea of how your partner views cheating and what it takes for him/her to go down that ugly road. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is someone who believes in having multiple partners, is that what you want too? Would you be able to stand seeing him with another woman?

Not everyone is monogamous. Couples who are swingers still have marriages that thrive because there is mutual understanding. People do well in open relationships because of that necessary ingredient: understanding. That is why you need to know where your partner stands in regards to the issue of cheating and if his/her location is close to yours.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the importance of these tests cannot be overemphasized. The commitment test will save you from getting married to someone who is not ready. The love test will help you feel a sense of security. The financial test might save you from marrying a wasteful person or it would help you plan how to manage your funds. Medical tests will tell you how compatible you are and it is also great because it gives partners time to decide if they can live with their partner’s underlying health condition. The cheating test would save you from a massive heart break and a broken home.

Like I said before, marriage is a lifetime commitment. It is honorable and it is a sacred pact of love. It should not be taken for granted and because of that, it is important to be prepared. Take these tests, administer them to your partner. Ask more questions if you have anything you long to know about him/her. Don’t leave any stone unturned because you might regret not having that information later. In all, I hope whoever you choose turns out to be great and you both have a happy married life.

Thank you for reading. Please like, comment and share. If you have questions, please ask in the comment box. Do have a great day!

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