10 Tips to Get Over a Breakup

Getting over a breakup is scientifically proven to be a painful process. Whether it was mutual or not, it takes time and adjustments to get used to the idea that a once stable presence in your life is now gone. 

Recent research likens the effects of romantic love to an addiction. The familiarity of having that person around often makes us feel reliant on their presence. However, when separation occurs, withdrawal can result in irrational and occasionally harmful behaviour.

When going through this heartache, it is important to focus on your emotional, mental and physical health. In this article, we’ll explore 10 effective tips to help you get over a breakup.

10 Tips to Get Over a Breakup Easily

1. Let Everything Out

You’re hurting, and it’s a natural part of the process, so do not suppress it. Don’t deny yourself a moment to release all the emotions you’re feeling. Cry, yell, vent about your ex to your bestie, binge-watch your favourite show while snacking on chocolate cake (a personal favourite of mine).

Do whatever you need to grieve in the moment – within reason, of course (quick disclaimer: The world does not stop because your heart is broken so bear that in mind for how long you need to be in this phase.)

There’s no shame in feeling upset that your relationship has ended, regardless of the cause. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to let them take the lead sometimes.

2. Give Yourselves Space

After a breakup, you and your ex-partner need to give each other some space, taking a break from texting and hanging out with each other. This time apart is to grieve the end of your relationship and is crucial for the healing process.

There are several reasons for a healthy radio silence between ex-partners. Here are a few:

1. It allows you to reevaluate your relationship independently, helping you better understand what went wrong. This will aid in identifying both your faults and those of your partner, assisting in determining if being apart is a better option.
2. It permits both of you to prioritize your mental health. The breakup itself likely takes a toll on you physically, mentally, and emotionally. A little space from your ex will provide the necessary room to recover.
3. It helps you become less dependent on your ex. A significant aspect of moving on after a breakup involves adjusting to their absence in your life or their reduced presence. Granting each other space initiates the process of diminishing reliance on their companionship.
4. It enables you to accept the reality of the situation: You are no longer together. Attempting to maintain friendliness with your ex immediately after ending the relationship can rekindle old feelings.

While post-breakup flings are common, they often end unhappily due to the unresolved reasons for the breakup. Allowing space for each other communicates that the relationship is truly over, preventing false hopes.

3. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

It’s very easy to let yourself go after a bad breakup, but self-care is self-love, and if there’s ever a time you need to show yourself some love, it’s when your heart is broken and you are prone to self-harm.

Here are a few simple ways to practise self-care:

• Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
• Take care of your physical and mental well-being by exercising, getting enough sleep, and nourishing your body with healthy food.
• Maintain your skincare routine.
• Don’t neglect your spiritual health.

Keeping up with your self-care after a breakup positively impacts almost every aspect of your life because it gives you the strength to continue living, no matter what you’re going through.

4. Focus Your Energy on Something

I once went through a breakup right before my final year exams – perfect timing, I know. I was faced with the choice of dwelling on my hurt and disappointment or channelling my nervous energy into something more important to me: my studies. Instead of spending several days crying in bed, I chose the latter and focused on studying. It was challenging, but I kept reminding myself that I didn’t want to look back on this time with regret for two failures.

Today, I can confidently say that I aced those exams. After the examinations ended, I had a good cry about my failed relationship. And I felt so much better, not just because I cried, but because I was still on a high from achieving something – it eased my pain.

When you’re going through a breakup recovery, it’s good to find something into which you can channel your energy and that will also provide you with satisfaction in the end. It could be school, work, or even a hobby. Transform your failed relationship into a different kind of success. It truly helps, trust me.

5. Step Away from Social Media

The challenges of breaking up are compounded by the influence of social media. In the past, if you changed your contact information, chances were that certain individuals would vanish from your life unless chance encounters in the real world occurred. Nowadays, they appear regularly on your feed. 

 Achieving a complete and clear separation from an old relationship becomes difficult when you’re constantly exposed to their Snapchat updates. In fact, you might catch yourself surreptitiously checking your ex’s social media profiles to keep tabs on their activities. However, falling into this rabbit hole is detrimental to your mental well-being.

Consider taking a brief hiatus from social media. If you’ve been following the previous tips, you should have adopted a hobby or something to channel your energy towards, minimising the likelihood of boredom.

6. Use the Time to Improve Yourself

Transitioning from a relationship to singledom can be disorienting, especially for those emerging from a long-term commitment. However, what if this change could be beneficial for you? This phase can serve as an occasion for introspection and personal growth.

There is a common apprehension about being alone, largely because the potential benefits often go unnoticed. When you’re single, distractions and facades vanish and it leaves you with a surplus of free time. This provides a chance to concentrate on self-improvement, setting the stage for enhanced future relationships.

Here are a few ways to prioritise your self-development:

• Allocate Time for Self-Reflection: Set aside time for introspection. Identify what went wrong in your past relationship, your role in its dynamics, and the ways you can become a better partner in the future.
• Engage with Talks and Seminars: Participate in talks and attend seminars focused on areas of self-development that pique your interest.
• Read Self-Help Books and Take Courses: Immerse yourself in self-help literature and consider enrolling in courses that align with your personal growth goals.

Use this time to rediscover your identity and improve yourself.

7. Don’t Take on a Serious Rebound

Rebounding is not the best way to heal from a breakup. But I won’t tell you not to do it, that is your choice. I would advise against rebounding with a serious relationship. If you are going to do it, keep it light and fun, with no serious commitments.

You see, the problem with rebounds is that they are very superficial. It serves to make the person going through the breakup feel like they are still desirable by getting attention from someone new. In some cases, people use it as a distraction from the pain they are feeling.  Either way, neither of those reasons is good enough to get into a new relationship.

I think this goes without saying but I’ll mention it anyway, rebounding does not take away the feelings you have from the previous relationship. It only serves to help you avoid them.

So, eventually, all those suppressed emotions are going to catch up with you. With this hovering above, it makes it a bit unrealistic to expect a serious rebound relationship to last. And I must mention the fact that you would be toying with the emotions of the person that you are rebounding with. All in all, it is just not worth it.

8. Talk to Someone

One major tip to get over a breakup fast is to talk to someone. Could be a friend, a sister, another lover… but try to talk to someone. In times of heartbreak, the allure of solitude can be strong, as it seems like a way to shield yourself from the pain.

However, it’s important to recognize that complete isolation might not be the best path to healing. Isolating yourself could potentially exacerbate feelings of loneliness and sadness, further hindering your recovery process.

Often, what we truly need is an outlet for our emotions, a means to release the pent-up feelings and find solace. It’s okay to talk it out. Engaging in conversations can be therapeutic, offering you an opportunity to express what you’re going through.

Consider opening up to your family members about your emotions – their support and understanding can provide a comforting space for you to heal. Similarly, confide in your friends – their perspectives and shared experiences might bring you a sense of camaraderie during this difficult time.

In certain situations, seeking professional help can make a significant difference. Therapists and counsellors are trained to assist individuals in navigating the complexities of emotional pain and healing from heartbreak. Don’t hesitate to reach out for guidance if you feel the need. Remember, healing isn’t a linear process, and seeking help is a courageous step towards nurturing your emotional well-being.

9. Stop Looking for Closure

What is closure after a breakup?

Closure after a breakup involves the quest for understanding the reasons why your relationship ended and accepting that the chapter is closed. 

Amidst the throes of a particularly painful breakup, the yearning for closure can become fervent, leading us to seek it in the wrong places. The very concept of closure can become clouded by the misconception that we require it from our former partner.

We might believe that they owe us answers, especially if the decision to end the relationship came from them. The problem with this is that sometimes people leave our lives without giving answers. Living in perpetual anticipation of these answers will just waste your time because it may never come.

Sometimes, the closure we yearn for doesn’t stem from external sources, but rather from within ourselves. This kind of closure necessitates the act of acceptance – an acceptance that some aspects of life are beyond our control. Moving forward is important, even in the absence of all the answers we seek.

True closure emerges when we recognize that the power to heal and progress resides within us, not dependent on the responses or actions of others.

10. Learn Something Good From This

My first relationship taught me that I should not let outside opinions decide my worth. I learned this when my high school boyfriend told me I should take better pictures because his friends thought I was ugly.

My second relationship taught me that if someone truly loves me, they will be clear and honest. I learned this when my college fling refused to commit but never explained why. He also taught me that I do not always need closure. Sometimes, I just have to accept things and move on.

My third entanglement taught me that starting a serious relationship right after a breakup is not good for me or the other person. I learned this when I hurt a good friend because I dated him while I was still healing from another heartbreak, then ended things a week later.

My last relationship taught me the importance of trust. I learned this a few days after the breakup when I felt more relieved than sad. I was glad to stop worrying every day about whether he was lying or cheating on me.

Inside every painful breakup are important lessons. You just have to take time to think about your past relationships and understand what went wrong. From there, you can see what you should keep and what you should let go.

These are not small or silly lessons like “never date a certain type of person” or “avoid people with friends of the opposite gender.” Instead, they are deeper lessons that help you grow and make better choices in the future.

These lessons do more than help you recover from heartbreak. They help you understand yourself better. They change how you see love and relationships. They also guide you toward healthier choices.

With time, these lessons help you heal and build a better future. You slowly move closer to a kind of love that fits who you are becoming. Breakup recovery is different for everyone. People cope in different ways. But one important lesson remains the same for all of us: self-love is very important.

In the middle of pain and confusion, you must be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to heal. Be patient with your emotions.

Deep inside every story of heartbreak is strength. That strength helps you not only survive a breakup but grow from it. If you treat yourself with care, you can move from pain into a better and brighter future.

All images are sourced from Pexels