Long Distance Relationship: Some Vital Hacks To Help Your Long Distance Relationship (LDR) Work
Have you suddenly found yourself in a long distance relationship? Feeling pangs of anxiety and insecurities about your future with your partner? Well, Hey, it’s not the end of the world. You’ve got this. Completely. You’d be surprised to know that your relationship with your partner may just have taken a new, exciting curve. In fact with the right kind of mindset and approach, you can make it thrive just like any other type of physical relationship.
Before we go on about how to make your long-distance relationship work, I would love to remind you to take a deep breath and calm down your racing heart. Stop being anxious! You must first remember that sometimes, the dealings of the heart can be very delicate. We can never tell where or how love may hit us unexpectedly. You might just find yourself solidly in a relationship with another human half across the continent. The option to flip the switch and turn off these emotions when you find out that you’re suddenly stuck in a long-term relationship, may not be possible. You’d have to find positive ways to make your relationship work. If this sounds anything like what you’re looking for, then this article is just for you. Come along!
Wikipedia defines a long distance relationship (LDR) or a long-distance romantic relationship (LDRR) as an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically separated from one another. Partners in LDRs face geographic separation and lack of face-to-face contact, as LDRs are particularly prevalent among college students, and young people, constituting 25% to 50% of all relationships.
Now, the problem with long-distance relationships is that it takes a whole lot of intentional effort to make it work, but this is not a disclaimer to say that it is impossible. Just like every other kind of relationship, a long-distance relationship has its limitations. Limitations can be managed and subdued effectively with the right kind of strategies. If you’re suddenly in a long-distance relationship, you’re not the first in the game. Many individuals have successfully navigated a long-distance relationship, and you can too.
While every type of relationship has its own set of challenges, some obstacles arise frequently in long distance relationships. According to relationship experts, some of the most common problems and features you tend to find in long-distance relationships are stated as follows;
- Long distance love relationships make it harder to manage geographically close connections.
- LDR makes it hard to tell how a relationship is doing.
- Partners have lofty aspirations for the quality of their relationship’s few face-to-face visits.
When you think about it, you may realize that it’s easier than you think to do things together with your partner in this day and age of technology.
The internet has revolutionized online dating, allowing long-distance couples to share incredible adventures even when they are separated by thousands of miles.
It’s crucial to find methods to spend time together even if you and your spouse are in different parts of the world, whether it’s separate towns, states, or even nations. I have compiled a list of long distance relationship tips, some vital ways to keep your relationship healthy, and best hacks to help maintain the long distance romance! Come along, let’s get that romantic relationship started!
Here’s How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work
Don’t Idealize Your Partner
Love is blind, but what do you call it when you start off loving the ‘idea’ of a person, rather than the reality of the person in question? It is called idealization.
When we idealize a person, we create visual and mental expectations that are not true. Idealization in simpler terms means creating expectations in a relationship that may never be met because they were false, to begin with.
It is quite common to see young couples and long-distance relationship partners idealize their partner especially at the peak of the relationship. Idealization is vastly common in long-distance relationships, and to be able to maintain an LDR, you must avoid all forms of conscious and subconscious idealization. We often place our partners on unrealistic pedestals and infuse illogical expectations on them. For instance, you could begin to believe that your partner would never do wrong, as the picture you’ve created of your partner is picture-perfect, and trust me, no human can be completely perfect.
One of the best ways to avoid idealization is to try the key component of intimacy and communication. Try to know them for who they are and not for what you think they are. Learn about their imperfections, weaknesses, vulnerability, and habits while communicating. This would help you build a realistic and sustainable relationship that distance might prevent you from originally creating
Try Virtual Bonding Activities
Bonding with your partner is commonly associated with the early phases of a relationship. However, whether you’ve been together for two months or five years, there’s always room for improvement as learning how to bond in a long-distance relationship can be a lifelong endeavor, but it doesn’t have to be challenging.
Online streaming platforms, such as Netflix, Hulu, HBO, Showmax, and whatever else you watch, offer endless hours of video for you and your spouse to binge on. Imagine bonding and watching a movie together while simultaneously discussing over a plate of popcorn. Sounds comfy right? Netflix Party, for example, allows you and your spouse to sync your TV and movie streaming so that you can watch together in real-time. This can make you feel as if you’re sitting next to each other on the couch.
Some other virtual bonding activities that you could try to spice up your relationship, can be ingeniously creative enough to fit just the both of you. It’s simpler to bond with your partner when you share common hobbies, activities, or experiences. You’ll be one step closer to bonding even more— and even increasing your love and connection — if you can discover what minor ways of having fun you and your spouse already share.
It is common knowledge that couples tend to spend more time doing an activity together. However, in a long-distance relationship, even though there might be physical limitations, there is also the chance to do everything like you would in a close-distance relationship. Watching movies, and starting a virtual book club together is a terrific way to bond over new experiences, and it can also keep your talks lively and interesting. You can play online games with one other in addition to streaming things together.
Cook Together
This is also another form of virtual activity that could help you strengthen your bond with your spouse. Cooking together as a virtual activity sounds like a crazy idea, until you truly try it out, for yourself in your Long Distance relationship. Now I know everyone loves a good meal, and the fastest way to get to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but some of the best ways to your partner’s heart and stomach at the same time can be via creating some sweetly-scented- sumptuous-magic in the kitchen together.
Scientists say that the relationship between cooking together and romance cannot be put apart. Yeah! The thing you see in movies works too. Still, on the subject of the brain, cooking and romance are linked chemically since the reward hormones released by loving or being loved and satisfying hunger by eating are the same (i.e. dopamine and norepinephrine). Perhaps you could eat to savor the joy that love has brought you, or perhaps love satisfies your hunger.
However, what better way to increase your happiness than to double your reward hormones by cooking with someone you care about? You’re never truly so far apart with technology like FaceTime and Skype. Choose a recipe and prepare it together. Then log into your Netflix accounts and watch your favorite romantic comedy!
Schedule And Anticipate Your Future Hangouts Together
Knowing your partner’s daily routine and schedule could go a long way into building and understanding your long distance relationship. Understanding your partner’s work schedule would help you know when he/she would be best available to take a call or reply to your text messages during a busy day. It’s vital to schedule one-on-one time so you can check-in and chat normally with your partner. Check-ins are vital for every relationship, but they are especially important for long-distance couples who are less involved in each other’s daily lives.
While it’s always fun to pick up the phone and call your spouse out of the blue, it’s equally important to schedule time for you to spend together. While Facetiming may appear to be no different from a regular phone conversation, seeing your spouse, their facial expressions, and their surroundings can help you feel more connected to one another despite the distance. It’s easier to have a video conversation with your partner and feel like you’re in their place thanks to technology and new inventions.
Communicate About Your Future
The future is not only about the future that we all anticipate, the future is a better part of your present fears, failures, insecurities, doubts, and uncertainty. I am a big fan of the subject of communication, and I think everyone else should be. Whether in a physical relationship or a long distance relationship, the question of communication is superbly pivotal. It’s crucial to keep an LDR, but it’s also important to set boundaries that allow for the right amount of communication.
For most individuals, preferable communication might differ from their partner’s style or approach. Some individuals are heavy on texting as a means of staying in communication with their significant other. Some individuals prefer sending and receiving texts throughout the day from their partners, while others might see this as ridiculous.
For some others, it is important to be in constant communication especially during the day, noon, and night. Some other individuals prefer and find call conversations more appropriate. Finding a communication style that works for you as a couple is key to sustaining any LDR. Doing so can be tough at times, and it does, ironically, necessitate a lot of communication, but it is critical to check in on you and your partner’s communication regularly.
Learning how to communicate in difficult situations is also pivotal in helping a Long distance relationship. Communication should be even more deliberate as you cannot physically see your partner so there is no chance to read their body language and hear their emotional cry and distress. Being emotionally available is not only attainable in a physical relationship but also in a long distance relationship. Being intentional about communication is a necessity.
Define And Establish Ground Rules
Establishing clear expectations and intentions about your relationship would help give your relationship no matter how distant a true sense of purpose. Communicating, as discussed earlier, your likes and dislikes moving forward, would help you to get a better understanding of each other’s needs, and help you manage your distanced relationship effectively.
Some other hacks you should have in mind to help your long distance relationship thrive are:
- Create fun moments by creating positive vibes
- Be intentional about communication:
- Avoid monolithic responses or one-word texts when you’re upset.
- Go online shopping together
- Make a video collage of you and your partner
- Watch and listen to each other fall asleep.
- Take a virtual culinary class together
- study a new language.
All images are sourced from Unsplash.com
The one who spells Afrolady from the larynx of her pen. She’s a high spirited, cultured and ingenuous African child, whose writing drops an unimaginative creative splash on history and carves the indignation and memories of Black women.