8 Foolproof Tips To A Long Lasting Relationship
Hey, congratulations! You’re one of the lucky ones. I’m assuming the internet led you here because you’re in love, in a relationship and very interested in making sure it is successful. I would love to say that statistics say fewer people are falling in love these days, but that would be a lie. However, if I say that relationships don’t last as long as they used to, then I would be quite right. Now the question is: in this world where fewer relationships are making it to the summit of marriage, what can I do to make sure that mine is long-lasting?
The answer is simple. We find out that relationships aren’t all different from other aspects of life. Like our jobs, our relations with family. Every one of these things flourishes with one basic ingredient: work. Putting in the work ensures (most of the time) the success of a job or a relationship. The reason why most relationships fail is that one or both partners refuse to put in the work needed to make the relationship successful and long-lasting.
Your presence here already shows you are not part of that crowd so I’ll be dropping eight tips to a long lasting relationship. They are all foolproof!
Tips to Ensure A Long Lasting Relationship
1. Be Ready To Serve
Thriving in a long-lasting relationship requires a huge dose of selflessness and what better way to be selfless than to serve your partner? Service is a very important love language. When you serve, you leave your ego at the door. You think about your partner in a more searching manner. What does he want? What will make him happy?
Having these questions at the back of your mind and in your subconscious will save you from doing things that are capable of destroying our relationship. And make you do things that will make it stronger instead. As a server, it is your job to make sure your partner is doing okay to the best of your abilities.
2. Date Your Spec
Dating your spec means dating someone who meets all the requirements you have for a partner. Don’t settle for less, or for someone who almost does but doesn’t quite meet the mark. Dating someone perfect for you saves you many problems. If you have the ocean in your room, you won’t have to be looking out at the beach! If your partner is all that you need, you will possess one major ingredient for a long-lasting relationship: contentment.
3. Plan Ahead
The truth is, anyone who is not ready to plan with you is not ready to be with you for the long haul. Are you with someone who doesn’t include you in their plans or does not make plans with you? Chances are they are not serious about the relationship. There’s this old saying: If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It is important to know what you want from the beginning. It helps you order your actions towards achieving that set goal.
Want to get married in two years? Plan. It gives your relationship an atmosphere of permanence and hope. Plan ways to love each other better. Plan to go on dates. Plan that vacation. Plans breed hope and hope is the engine that powers our day-to-day life.
4. Communicate
You might say, oh, I already talk to my partner. Talking is different from communicating. You could say a million words without communicating. You could be talking over your partner or in a way that they do not understand you. A lot of people, especially women, have this unrealistic belief that their partner is supposed to see all their non-verbal cues and understand what they want.
Except you are dating a mind reader, I will suggest you speak up about your opinions and your needs. Tell your partner what you want and get to know how they feel about it. Communicate your desires, your feelings, and your thoughts while encouraging your partner to do the same. Nothing should stop you from communicating. Not a fight, not a moment of great happiness. You feel happy, say it. You feel hurt, say it. If your partner loves you, they will comfort you and try to be better for you. Getting hurt and words off your chest prevents them from festering and turning into a wound that you might find hard to treat later.
Do you feel a surge of love for your partner? Look into his eyes and tell him. If you can’t communicate with your partner, then perhaps you shouldn’t be with them.
5. Renew Your Love Always
To renew your love with your partner, you have to revisit the things that made you fall in love in the first place. When couples have been together for a while, there’s a tendency to fall into a routine. Both of you now do the same things, say the same words, and slowly that initial spark begins to die.
The only way you can avoid this tragedy is by keeping things fresh and spicy. Inside the comfortable routine, make a little space for spontaneous acts of love. Here are some spontaneous acts of love that you could try:
- Random words of affirmation/compliments
- Random kisses
- Surprise gifts
- Unplanned dates
- Stolen hugs
6. Reciprocate
It takes two to Tango. For a relationship to last long, there must be a lot of reciprocation. Do not reciprocate awful acts and mistakes, forgive those. Do you see those actions that made you know that your partner loves you? Those are the ones worthy of reciprocation.
Reciprocation prevents burnout. If one partner alone keeps giving and giving, it’s only a matter of time before they begin to feel cheated. Strive to give your partner the same great energy they channel towards your relationship. Love harder, love faster, and love better.
7. Share Laughter and Tears
What’s the point of relationships if you don’t get to share life’s wins and life’s struggles with your significant other? These experiences are what will bind you both faster than a three-string cord. Lived experiences make the relationship fun, you keep having something to talk about. Your brain automatically records this person as your “joy giver” and your body releases oxytocin when they are around.
Lol. I just told you something I know nothing about but it is fine because it feels right! That’s what sharing does, it helps you feel just right in the presence of this individual. You feel comfortable and relaxed around them and this helps to build a solid relationship.
8. Stay Respectful (Especially During Arguments)
Being together for so long can make you feel like your partner is the second version of you and not someone else with separate thoughts and feelings. The familiarity that comes with love will also make it easy for you to forget this fact. For the first time in this article, I’m going to tell you to fight against those feelings of familiarity that love brings.
Humans come with a very short attention span and familiarity is like the road that leads to disinterest. To keep your relationship fresh on this long-lasting journey, you need to keep the unfamiliarity that you had at the beginning. This way, it will be easier to respect your partner.
During arguments, it is easy to react and speak based on your emotions. Love doesn’t teach you how to argue wisely, you need to learn that for yourself. The first step is to attack the problem and not the person. You will be tempted to say “You did a very horrible thing to me” but you’ll get better results when you take this approach instead “I feel very hurt about what happened yesterday at.. “.
This way, your partner does not get defensive(reflexively) but instead feels like apologizing which will help you both resolve the matter quickly and with fewer damages. Also, don’t try to put your emotions aside. You’re not allowed to do that when arguing with your partner. Let those good emotions of love and forgiveness shine through.
The good part of everything is these are all easy and possible with Love! Love is the greatest kind of giving and a huge sacrifice that doesn’t fade if we continue to feed it good energy and flowers. Relationships require conscious effort to grow and blossom. I promise you that if you take those suggestions I gave up there, your relationship will be long-lasting.
The growth and length of your relationship are in your hands. You have to be sure that your partner wants the same thing because like I said before, it takes two to Tango. With both of you on the same page, this should be easy. I’m rooting for you. For those that are yet to find someone who loves them without reservations, I am here to tell you that such a thing is possible. In this lifetime, may we all find love and happiness and may we have the willpower and patience to keep it.
All images are gotten from unsplash.com
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