What It Means To Love A Woman

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“What has come over you?” I asked.

Jamie ignored me and brushed past quickly to the other side of the room to stand before the mirror. Staring angrily at her reflection, I noticed that she was crying again. Crying hard like I had struck her a terrible blow. Her smooth silk face looked all the more innocent and beautiful.

Gosh, how I loved this woman. She was my dream come true in every way and more.

“Jamie,” I started to speak again as I watched her dress up. Her red dress highlighted every beautiful contour in her honey-colored skin and simultaneously matched her bright red lipstick.

‘Don’t!’ she retorted.

“Jamie, don’t do this,” I called again, trying to placate her.

“Please Anthony, I’m not ready to have this conversation right now,” She snapped as she hastily zipped up her dress, flung the rest of her makeup kits into her little black purse, and started out of the huge bathroom.

As she walked towards me, I inhaled her strong floral fragrance and my senses were heightened more than ever.

I wanted her, and I felt guilty. Heck, there was no reason to feel guilty. She was mine after all.

“Anthony, please step aside,” she muttered. Her small frame swung impatiently before me as I blocked the doorway out of the bathroom with my body.

I stole a glance at the red dress that highlighted her beautifully sculpted breasts molded perfectly into her chest in a sensual manner. The angry pout on her lips and the innocent curve of her hips wanted to drive me crazy.

“Nope. I will not leave this door until we can have a conversation like grown adults. Not until you listen to me Jamie,” I demanded, raising my voice a pitch higher.

“There is nothing to discuss with you,” she returned and attempted to push past me.

I stood there rigid and unmoving.

“Please leave the door, Anthony. I don’t want to repeat this.”

“You know that I am your husband, Jamie, and none of this is fair at all. Not to me, not to you, not to our young marriage,” I demanded sharply, my voice rising even higher than normal.

She looked angrily at me with those large shapely eyes and I wanted to melt again.

“Babes… my boss would be wondering where I am, the cocktail party would begin anytime soon. You need to step away from the door this instant.”

“The only thing you care about is your job, your boss, your career,” I yelled at her, flailing my arms on every side, “It’s always about you, you and you.”

“Anthony…” she interjected, “I… I…”

“You what?” I continued, “we’ve been married for over seven months. Today, Eight months ago, we exchanged our vows at the altar. We promised to love and honor this home, Jamie!”

“And I am!!” Jamie retorted loudly, “don’t you think I am doing just that, in every sense! I’m trying my best,” she continued, bursting into loud sobs.

Gosh, how I hated to see her cry.

“I am trying to help the best way that I can,” Jamie continued talking, interrupting my thoughts.

“No, you’re not. You’re not communicating your fears. You’re not communicating your needs. You’re just expecting me to understand something you’re not even willing to talk about,” Jamie stared blindly through me as I continued to speak.

“I’m just not ready, Anthony. Aren’t you supposed to just understand that?”

I walked towards her and hugged her tightly from behind. Her frame fit perfectly into every part of my body like a puzzle that had just been completed.

“Oh Jamie honey, I’m not a superhuman Jamie, I am your husband. I need you to help me make this marriage work,” I begged as I inhaled the scent of her body and reached down to kiss the supple tendrils of her lips.

Jamie paused, stifled, and melted into my arms as I kissed her softly.

I kissed her shoulders softly and cleared off the tears in her eyes. Kissing every drop with all of my love.

She hugged me tightly as she’d never let go. Like I was her only lifeline. The one she truly loved.

“Please don’t go to the cocktail party. I’m sure they don’t need you as much as I need you right now,” I begged. Jamie stiffened immediately like ice water had been poured on her. I could feel her withdrawing again emotionally.

“What’s the excuse this time?” I asked.

“It’s my time of the month. I’m sorry, I can’t,” Jamie sniffed and hurried past me, taking advantage of the fact that my huge frame was no longer a barricade at the door.

“Seriously Jamie, we all know that’s an old wife’s tale. Nobody’s gonna believe that crap!”

“But it’s true!” Jamie insisted, hastening towards the living room.

“Nope, it’s not. And we both know this.”

I screamed in a loud outburst, frustration getting the better of me, “I’m human too. I have endured enough. It’s been eight bloody months. Don’t you think any other man would have run mad by now?”

I walked towards Jamie and paused to stare into her face as the tears started to fall from her eyes again, smearing her makeup.

I followed her quickly into the bedroom, trying to stop her before she reached the living room.

“When we first got married, you said you were given a directive from GOD to keep a 120-day fast, afterwards, you claimed to be down with malaria. And now, this? You’re on your period? Don’t you care that it’s been 8 months since we got married and we’ve not yet consummated this union? Not even once!! For Christ’s sake, Jamie! How many other lies do you intend to come up with before you see that I’m not buying any of this anymore?” I yelled after her in anger.

“You know what?” I continued, “I’ve called your mom, and I’ve told her everything. I’ve told her how you’re determined to ruin this marriage. There’s no need to hide anything anymore. I’ve reached my threshold of patience. If you won’t talk to me, maybe you’d talk to your mom!”

“How dare you, Anthony?” Jamie burst out immediately, “Why would you bring my parents into our problems?”

“I couldn’t think of anything else,” I responded, “this appears to be the best option.”

“You’re just so selfish, Anthony,” Jamie burst out once again, “I’m going for that cocktail party, whether you like it or not.”

“You’re not leaving this house in that dress,” I stated. That dress was readily driving me crazy. I didn’t want my wife tickling the senses of other men at the party especially in that upset state she was currently in.

“Do you hear me?” I asked.

Jamie ignored me and walked out of the house, slamming the door loudly behind her in anger.

Did my wife just walk out of me in the middle of an argument? Crying and upset, that too, in a piping red hot dress to a business party??

Gosh, what have I done?

***

Jamie sniffed for the umpteenth time as she remembered what had just happened. She loved Anthony so much, she couldn’t believe she was the one deliberately ruining her marriage. How could she bring herself to tell him the truth? How?

How could she make him understand that he was the only one she wanted? The only one that made her feel safe, the only one she wanted to hold onto.

But he went too far by telling her parents about this. He did. Not like she could blame him. It’s been 8months since they exchanged their wedding vows. And here 8 months later, they’d not been intimate in any physical way.

The honk from the car behind her brought her back into her thoughts. She’d arrived at the event center. The whole place was jammed with too many people dressed in bright shiny dresses. The media was everywhere flashing snapshots at all and sundry. Jamie couldn’t care less.

She just wanted to return home to the safety of her husband’s arms.

Anthony was mad at her, but he always knew how to be a husband. A perfect one too despite her shenanigans.

He always met up with his husbandly duties and responsibilities unlike she who kept failing at every turn.

She berated herself for wanting many things from him but for being unable to give him the one thing he wanted the most from her.

She loved him. She was afraid of so many things. Afraid of what would happen if he ever found out the truth about her past.

She quickly brushed up her makeup, concealing her teary eyes artistically making it look a bit dreamy.

“Mrs. Peters?” Someone tapped on her car’s door rather impatiently. It was Joseph, her boss’s PA.

“Mr. Joseph? What are you doing here? And where’s Mr. Dave, our boss?” Jamie replied as she got out of the car.

“Oh, he had to cancel at the last minute and asked me to stand in for him for today’s dinner. Surely you don’t mind, do you?”

“Nope, not at all. It’s strictly business, right? Mr. Joseph?”

“Yes,” Joseph replied, ogling her body without any shame, “Yes, it is. Please call me Joseph. Surely we can drop any formality here, can’t we Jamie?”

“No. I think… and it’s Mrs.”

“By the way, you look breathtaking Jamie, looking like a fresh snack straight outta the oven,” Joseph continued, interrupting her rudely before she could complete her sentence.

“This is strictly business, Mr. Joseph. Let’s not forget that!” She replied as she walked away ahead of him.

Jamie was so upset she wanted to break something. This guy was one of the many flirts at the office, and she hated him so much. It was indeed unfortunate that her boss, Mr. David, had to attend to another emergency. The result? Now she was stuck with this good-for-nothing asshole. If she had known this was going to happen, she would have stayed away completely and listened to her husband after all.

Plus this red dress was seriously a mistake. She should have listened to Anthony. He was right. All the men at the party kept ogling at her like she was a fish trapped in a museum.

Jamie quickly hurried into the brightly colored event center and sat down in the distant part of the room as she watched the event go on.

Joseph, her uninvited partner, quickly followed suit to find a seat beside her. Positioning himself too close for her liking.

Jamie moved a little away, uncomfortable, and called out to the waiter passing by.

“Can I have a glass of drink please?”

The waiter nodded and hurriedly served a glass of drink. Jamie seized the glass and downed it immediately with a huge gulp.

She was bored and frustrated at everything. Her fight with Anthony kept flashing in her head. And now this asshole whose perfume was choking her made her all the more upset.

She knew this was a bad idea to start with. She should have just stayed back at home.

Twenty minutes into the event, Jamie was beginning to feel a bit light-headed.

She noticed Joseph staring at her weirdly and she needed an excuse to get away from him quickly. This stupid red dress was going to get her into trouble.

Jamie stood and walked out of the room towards the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Joseph called after her, “We have a speech to deliver soon.”

“I don’t care, I’m going home,” Jamie replied as she wobbled in her steps, “I need to be with my husband.”

She walked out of the event center and headed towards the bathroom to clear her head. Her purse swung gently in her hands. She entered into the ladies and stared into the mirror, recalling every part of the fight she’d had with her husband, Anthony.

She made up her mind to tell him the complete truth as soon as she got home.

Fighting with Anthony wasn’t worth it. He deserved the truth, and she’d give it to him. As she continued to stare at the mirror, she heard the door open and the bathroom lights go off simultaneously.

Jamie started to panic immediately as she couldn’t comprehend why the light of a public bathroom would suddenly go off.

She hated darkness.

“Who is there?” Jamie demanded.

“Hello? Who is there?”

She heard the ragged breath of someone approach her stealthily. Then the cologne followed.

That sour smell, she’d know it anywhere.

Joseph. That bloody man had her cornered!

A pair of hands seized her and dragged her towards his body.

“Hello, Jamie…” it was Joseph’s unmistakable voice.

“What are you doing here, Joseph?” Jamie responded harshly, trying to hide the panic in her voice, “You’re probably lost. This is the ladies’ restroom. The men’s loo is on the other end of the building.”

He chuckled a loud laugh and drew her closer into him violently, ignoring her like she was talking madly to herself.

“Finally, I have you where I have always wanted.”

“Get out now, or I’d scream Joseph.”

“Don’t do that Jamie,” He continued huskily. His breath, a clear example of bad, unkempt, teeth hygiene. Jamie was filled with rage and disgust at everything about him. “You know that I’ve been in love with you since the first moment you entered that office,” he forged ahead, “your skin is so flawless, and your eyes? Those eyes are lovely enough to drive any man mad.”

Jamie’s rage soon began to turn into panic. Joseph had become an animal and she had to find a way to save herself before it was too late.

“Let go of me this minute or else I’d scream.”

“Why don’t you try? It’d be music to my ears. I locked the door from outside. No one would hear you yell, albeit from pain or pleasure. Be rest assured,” He replied as he dragged her towards his body and kissed her lips harshly.

Jamie struggled to set herself free from his firm grip, but it was fruitless.

Before long, his hands started to ravage every part of her body.

“This gown… oh this red gown… I love it so much. Look at those petite breasts, just as I had imagined.”

Jamie reached down and bit his hands aggressively with all of her feminine venoms.

“Ouch,” Joseph yelled like a wounded dog.

Taking advantage of the freedom, Jamie bolted across the room and yelled louder than ever towards the door.

Tiny Hidden Scars

“Somebody help me.”

She reached the doorknob and tried to unlock it hastily.

Joseph reached across, dragged her from the door, and slapped her hard on the face. Silencing her almost immediately.

That did not deter her as she struggled to free herself from his huge arms.

“Somebody help me!!!” she screamed again.

“Shut up woman, no one can hear you,” Joseph commanded. His eyes were enraged and filled with dirty desires.

Jamie struggled against him, reaching for the door and screaming again. Joseph pulled her back and slammed her head forcefully against the bathroom wall.

She counted stars as she felt herself surrendering to unconsciousness, darkness closing in on her. She felt Joseph’s hands parting her legs forcefully and the sound of his zipper coming loose.

“Dear God, please save me,” Jamie begged one last time as the darkness enveloped her.

***

I hear a faint scream as I walk past the ladies’ bathroom. The sound was muffled and loud, and I could identify muffled voices above the high blast music that pervaded the entire place. One of the voices sounded oddly familiar.

“Jamie?”

“Wasn’t that my Jamie’s voice?”

God, why was she screaming? I hope she is alright. But where was that faint scream coming from?

I looked around and noticed the door to the ladies’ room was bolted very tightly. I heard the faint piercing scream again, this time, clearer than the former.

It was Jamie screaming, “somebody please help me!”

Dear God, what was happening?

I would have to break down this door.

Enraged and fuming, I pushed my foot against the bolt and broke in with the weight of my body into the bathroom.

The door shattered into pieces like it was decaying wood, the impact causing my shoulder to throb profusely.

There, lying on the floor, was Jamie with a guy standing over her pale body.

“Hey, what are you doing to my wife?”

I screamed as I launched furiously at him. My fist connects impulsively with his face. The man, upon noticing that there was no escape, lurched at the door and scurried out like a rat caught in a turbulent act.

I looked down at my wife, lying helplessly on the floor. There was a blood crack at the top of her head, near the cranium.

My pulse raged like an animal and I wanted to injure that man, whoever he was. I reached down and felt for her pulse. She was still alive.

“Thank God I arrived on time,” I sobbed, muttering a thank you to all the guiding angels out there.

I scoop her small body into mine as I carry her out of the bathroom, straight away to my car. Her head is still bleeding badly and I need to put some ice on the bruise as quickly as possible.

***

Jamie opened her eyes 30mins later.

I sat by her side waiting and hoping she was fine.

“Babe?” She muttered, tears pooling in her eyes, “I’m sorry, babe. I’m sorry.”

“Hey baby,” I replied, standing to kiss her cheeks.

“Shhh… keep quiet. Don’t utter another word. I’m glad I got there before that bastard could hurt you.”

Jamie sniffed and attempted to sit upright, “Come here, Anthony. Come lie beside me.”

I got up, climbed the bed, and drew her into my arms.

“I should have listened to you, babe. I shouldn’t have gone for that cocktail dinner… I regretted it the moment I stepped out. I just wanted to come back home, to be with you,” Jamie continued, sobbing loudly into Anthony’s chest. “Thank God, you got there to save me on time.”

“Sshhh, it’s okay… don’t say anything. Your head must be throbbing,” Anthony chastised her softly.

“No babe, I’m fine. I’m sorry I left you in the dark all this while. Today, I realized that my fears were baseless. I would rather be with you than have any other man in the world. I love you, Anthony.”

“I love you too, Jamie,” Anthony replied, pulling Jamie into a tighter hug. “You don’t have to bring that up now Jamie, it’s fine if you’re not ready to have sex yet. We’d wait, after all, we’re married, we’ve got the rest of our lives to try things out.”

“Nope. Anthony, I was raped by my best friend when I was 15 and ever since, I’ve placed that fear in front of me. I even brought it into our marriage.”

“Oh babe!” I replied in shock, ”I am so sorry. I should have never argued with you because of this,” Anthony replied, burying his face into her hair in pain.

“No Anthony. I think I have more to apologize for. I should never have kept my phobia away from you.”

He moved and looked into his eyes.

“I should have helped you to help me. I’m sorry for ruining our marriage with several excuses for the past 8 months. I love you,” Jamie continued and kissed me soundly for the first time without fear since we got married.

“I want you,” she continued, trailing kisses around my neck.

“I am sorry…” she added as tears poured down her eyes.

I immediately knew that for the first time since we exchanged our vows, my wife was being open to me. I knew what should be done.

“Baby? We shouldn’t do this now. I think you should rest,” I responded as I kissed her soundly, my hands ravaging her backside.

“No baby,” Jamie replied, “I’ve been resting my whole life. I don’t want to rest anymore. It’s time.”

I smiled and looked deeply into her eyes, searching to see if she meant what she was saying, simultaneously satisfied and happy. I had finally found my wife. How ironic that all of these had to happen first?

“By the way Anthony?” Jamie inquired amongst kisses, wondering how he had found her in that bathroom trap that Joseph had set for her.

“How did you find me?” she asked, leaving a kiss on his neck.

“I knew I shouldn’t have let you walk out like that. Remember, our no 1 rule? We don’t leave an argument unresolved, ever,” Anthony murmured, drowning in her scent, “I was made to find you, Wife. Let’s leave that story for another day, I’ve got some other things to find in this red dress today.”