How to Overcome Shyness
|
|
Do you shrink back when you’re about to meet someone new? Do you feel like your whole world might end if you make eye contact with the person you’re talking to? Have you ever experienced jitters in your hands when you’re about to make an important call? Do you detest being made to do class or work presentations? If you answered yes to any or some of these questions, then you’re most definitely a shy person.
We can all feel a sense of shyness at some point. But when it becomes recurrent, a source of ill-being and internal suffering, then it is no longer a simple fleeting feeling. It is an evil that you must overcome. There are a few foolproof techniques that would help you on how to overcome shyness, and in this article, we will be showing them to you.
At some point, you’re going to realize that the world is watching you. In fact, most people are too busy looking at themselves. They don’t really care that much if your hair is in a messy bun or if your shorts are two sizes smaller. Like it or not, all the invalidation you feel comes from your head. Instead of perceiving yourself as if you are looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes, look directly into yourself. Be more self-aware of your flaws. Your strengths, weaknesses, flaws, and all. Self-awareness is the first step in any quest to change or improve the quality of life. In essence, know thyself.
2. Expect Rejection
Not everybody is going to see you for the awesome person you are. The earlier you know that the quicker you’ll be able to overcome shyness. Expect that you might be rejected and learn not to take it personally. Being rejected happens to everyone. It is part of life and the learning process. The best thing to do is to be mentally prepared.
3. Use Self-Affirmative Language
You might not believe it but the words you speak go a long way in determining the outcome of your life. Learn to speak life and positivity into your life. Avoid language that will only bring you down and make you feel terrible about yourself. Only use language that will make you feel good about yourself. When you start to feel like shrinking yourself in some social situations, tell yourself, “I am beautiful,” “I am confident,” “They do not have to like me. I have a beautiful personality regardless,” “I am enough.” Speaking these words will boost your self-confidence and that’s a major step to overcoming shyness.
4. Breathe
Anxiety and fear can seem overwhelming when you face potential situations that could trigger your shyness. At a point, it might seem like the whole world will come crashing down if you confront these situations. But that never happens. A simple technique to calm and manage this anxiety is to breathe deeply with your eyes closed and to focus on your breathing. Breathe in and out slowly while emptying your mind. Continue for a few minutes until you are comfortable, then extend the breathing time again. You can easily train in the bathroom, in a free room, or whenever you feel a rise in your anxiety.
5. Find Your Strengths
We all have different qualities and ways of expressing ourselves. It is important to know and fully accept the things we are good at even if they differ from the norm. The first thing you need to do is to find something you are good at and focus on it. Shyness is often linked to a poor self-image, so identifying your strengths will boost self-esteem and ego.
6. Love Yourself
We simply cannot emphasize this enough. Train yourself to appreciate yourself and love the person you are. With all the great assets you possess, it would be a disservice to do any less. Do activities that you enjoy, express your gratitude to your body and all that it allows you to do without (too much) effort, take the time to get to know yourself, give yourself an appointment face to face with yourself. Regardless of what you might think, you’re awesome. The only person who doesn’t think so is YOU.
7. Work on Your Body Language
“60% of human communication is non-verbal and 30% goes through the tone of your voice, which means that 90% of what you say doesn’t come out of your mouth,” explains Alex Hitchens, professional matchmaker, performed by Will Smith, in the movie “Hitch”. Many researchers agree that 60% to 90% of communication does not go through words. Your body language says a lot and it even affects your mind – a handshake, a look, a posture already says a lot! Eye contact and your stance is also a great way of communicating. If you’re constantly slouching your shoulders, avoiding eye contact, twisting your fingers, and performing all the gestures that indicate shyness, then you might never overcome shyness. Assume gestures that speak confidence – look a person in the eye when they are talking to you, walk like you own the room, and never limit yourself for another. With time, you’ll be as confident as you want everyone to believe you are. As the saying goes, “Fake it till you make it.”
8. Never Conform
Trying to look like everyone is pretty exhausting and not much fun. Understand that you have the right to be different and to be yourself. To be honest, no two persons are alike. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular, or the social person that you want to be. In the end, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can only set you free. Embrace every single imperfect piece of yourself and rock it, girl!
9. Confront Uncomfortable Situations
This might not seem like the best course of action, but you’re going to have to do it anyways. And the sooner the better. Because the more you flee from situations where you experience shyness, the more you strengthen your shyness. Over time, you do yourself a disservice. Instead of running away from it, face the situation. Make this distressing situation conducive to personal growth and introspection. Become the observer and draw from yourself. Trust me, you will only become better for it.
10. Challenge Yourself Constantly
Overcoming shyness will not happen overnight, so you’ll have to engage yourself in a process that will lead to its total demise. Give yourself small challenges every day. Set a number of challenges for yourself per week. Gradually expose yourself to new situations. For example, dare to sit next to a person you like, and whom you have never dared speak to. Intervene in a conversation to give your point of view. It would also be great to regularly take stock of all these little things accomplished. Also, try not to do too much at the same time. Instead of embarking on a multitude of challenges that you would end up losing sight of, take it day by day.
11. Engage in Sporting Activities
Action is also often a great way to get out of your bubble. Often, practicing a sport, theater, yoga, or joining an association as a volunteer allows you to take a leap forward. When we do that, we learn interesting things because we are in contact with others. And while you remain engaged in a common action – a play, a handball match, a distribution of meals to the homeless – you spend less time observing and judging ourselves. Focusing on something else besides what people might think of you will help you overcome your apprehension and to give confidence.
12. Consult a Therapist
Sometimes, the shyness is so suffocating that it prevents us from moving forward, taking off, and calmly contemplating the future. Even following well-meaning advice might no longer work. It goes so deep into our consciousness, that it would only take a professional to help you out of it. If it gets that bad, do not hesitate to contact a professional. Sometimes a few sessions with a professional is all you need to resolve the anxieties and face your shyness head-on.
To overcome shyness, you must be ready to face it. And each time you are confronted with it, it is up to you to decide to face it and to go beyond it. Or let it dominate you. It is a daily and regular work that awaits you. But the efforts are worth it, to be released and significantly less stressed. Do not try to avoid it. Because your shyness will only increase as long as you constantly try to avoid it. So take the bull by the horns and face your shyness
Finally, remember that the most important thing is to get used to taking a softer look at yourself, to accept that the changes may take time and patience. With time, and using these tips on how to overcome shyness, you will realize that those things that used to make you cower are note nonexistent. Remember, dare to do those things you could never do. As a shy person, to dare itself is to win. Stay beautiful and daring!
All pictures are gotten from pexels and are free for commercial use.
What's Your Reaction?
