Understanding The Female Orgasm: A Complete Guide
The concept of the anatomy of the female orgasm is complex, yet very easy to understand when you are the type that listens and observes. Is your partner truly satisfied after sexual relations? Would you really call that an orgasm? Or was it just a prelude to the real deal? Have you been mistaking the plateau for the zenith?
This article will help you understand your woman better. And as a woman, you’ll get to understand your body better. There are many mysteries surrounding the female body but this article will help with understanding the female orgasm better. This way, you can enjoy a more satisfying sexual relationship with your partner.
What Is The Female Orgasm?
You might be interested in knowing that orgasms are controlled by the autonomic nervous system.
Orgasms in males and females are very similar but also very different. Just like with the male, there is excitement, the muscles in the vaginal walls get hardened, increased heart rate, metabolism, and blood pressure.
After which, the resolution produces hormones that cause the entire body to relax. Any kind of stimulation at this point will be uncomfortable and this is true for both sexes.
However, the female orgasm is slightly different.
Wikipedia defines orgasm as “the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure.”
The Kinsey Institute goes further to describe it as “…a variable, transient peak sensation of intense pleasure, creating an altered state of consciousness, usually with an initiation accompanied by involuntary, rhythmic contractions of the pelvic striated circum-vaginal musculature, often with concomitant uterine and anal contractions, …” which usually resolves in contentment.
It is popularly believed that the height of sexual contentment is graded by the ability to orgasm after physical relations.
This is not very true.
Sexual contentment can be achieved without experiencing an orgasm. In the same vein, the fact that your partner orgasmed during sex doesn’t mean that she was sexually satisfied.
This is where observation and understanding come in.
Some women know what they want sexually. Some women don’t, but it’s your job as her man to help her understand her body better. Your little explorations will not only enhance your sex life, but also strengthen your relationship.
A healthy sex life helps to maintain a healthy relationship.
What Does An Orgasm Feel Like In Women? Stages To Achieving The Female Orgasm
There are four stages to achieving orgasm in women.
1. Excitement
This is when the body is aroused. Blood rushes to the vagina, nipples, and clitoris. Your body may display a type of full-body blush.
Your body temperature may also increase, as will your blood pressure and heart rate. Various hormones are then released like testosterone, serotonin, and dopamine.
All this is in anticipation of what is to come.
2. Plateau
At this stage, sexual tension continues to increase as your body prepares the platform for it to orgasm.
Every other sensation is drowned out and the only thing your brain can focus on at that point is creating sexual pleasure so you can climax.
Your respiration, blood pressure, and heart rate will also continue to build up.
Many men make the terribly annoying mistake of stopping here because they have gotten to their peak.
When a woman shows all these signs, it means she is getting ready to orgasm, not that she is ready to orgasm.
When you stop as her partner, you have only succeeded in making her ‘edge’ and edging can be very frustrating at times. This is because edging will have her feeling like her peak is at the tip of her grasp but you only pushed her off the forty feet ladder back to ground base.
3. Orgasm
This is the real deal. When you manage to push past the plateau, wave after wave of contractions occurs in the vagina, uterus, and pelvic floor muscles. You can physically see the entire body shudder in intense sexual pleasure.
Muscles usually contract and warmth is spread from the pelvis to the entire body.
4. Resolution
This is when the body begins to relax, blood begins to flow away from the engorged vagina, nipples, and clitoris.
Respiration, blood pressure, and heart rate also return to normal.
How To Know If You Had An Orgasm As a Woman
As I mentioned earlier, many men confuse the plateau for the zenith. Just because you had an orgasm as a male, it doesn’t mean your female counterpart also had an orgasm.
This is the mistake many men make, and it has led to gross dissatisfaction with their partners. Your end point might just be her starting point.
Does this mean you are condemned to unending humping for the rest of your sex life? No.
Funny as that sounded, many men still believe the only way to make their female counterparts achieve orgasm during sexual relations is by penetrative sex. Again, wrong.
Experts say that one in every four women finds it difficult to orgasm. It could be a result of stress, depression, fear, or even anxiety. Whether the problem is physical or psychological, observation will help you understand what the problem is so you can choose the right solution to fix the issue at hand.
Don’t just go plowing away without carefully observing and considering the mental and physical state of your partner. When you do that, you deny her the release of helpful hormones like endorphins which are also called endogenous opioids, oxytocin, and dopamine.
Endorphins create a feeling of relaxation and “happiness” after completing exercises like a tough workout.
When a person orgasms, the brain releases huge amounts of oxytocin and dopamine.
Oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone”, is known to stimulate feelings of bonding and connection with a partner after orgasm. This is why you immediately feel the urge to or find yourself saying “I love you” after you had good sex.
Dopamine is another hormone that releases a “feel-good” neurotransmitter that is connected to the brain’s reward center. This is why after very good sex, most people feel good not just inside themselves, but also with themselves.
Men feel more validated and with women, they value themselves more for being able to please their partner that well. It’s like giving an entire cookie jar to a child for getting the highest score in the class tests. It boosts self-esteem.
Depression, fear, and anxiety can prevent a female from reaching her orgasmic state because the body needs to achieve or maintain the adequate blood flow needed for it to climax.
The same way feelings of guilt, fear, etc, affect men, that it could cause erectile dysfunction, is the same way it affects women and prevents them from achieving orgasms.
How then can you help your woman achieve orgasm? It’s simple. Keep reading.
4 Tips on How To Achieve The Female Orgasm
The beauty and mystery of the female orgasm stem from how the body undergoes various physiological changes at the point where a female orgasms.
Various women have described the feeling of orgasms as “wave after wave” of emotions and spasms. It is a feeling that they experience throughout their entire body. Some women even experience headaches and muscle spasms when they orgasm. It is an ethereal experience that they love and want to enjoy.
Especially with a partner.
Another beauty of the female orgasm is the fact that there is no “one sure way” to achieve it. Women can achieve orgasms in various ways.
1. Clitoral Stimulation
Even though there is no “sure way” to achieve orgasms, this is the easiest way to do it.
Clitoral orgasm is the closest comparison to the male orgasm of all female orgasms. Just like with the male orgasm, the tissues that make up the clitoris become erect and when orgasm occurs there is release.
Also, it’s uncomfortable to continue afterwards, just as with the male orgasms.
How to Achieve This
You can achieve a clitoral orgasm with a small vibrator, your fingers, or even your palm. When you have ensured that your clitoris is wet, gently start rubbing it in an up-and-down or side-to-side motion.
When you start experiencing pleasure, apply more pressure and make it faster in a repetitive motion.
It is important to keep observing. If a particular motion or area isn’t stimulating well enough, you can ask questions or if it is self-care, you can check another area.
The beauty of clitoral stimulation is the chance to explore and discover. It is magical when you do it alone or with a partner.
2. Vaginal Stimulation
Vaginal orgasms are often considered ‘deeper’ because here, the vaginal walls are being stimulated. There is penetration.
When it comes to sexual relations, many people are very familiar with the ‘G-spot’ but not very familiar with the ‘A-spot’. The ‘A-spot’ is the area around the front vaginal walls or anterior fornix. Although it is difficult to achieve orgasm through this method alone, it is still possible.
How to Achieve This
Try experimenting with your fingers or sex toys. Width is the defining factor here. As with clitoral orgasm, try to create fast repetitive motions and add pressure.
3. Cervical Stimulation
This is the big boss of all female orgasms as it can lead to a full-body orgasm. It is not very common and most women don’t get to experience it. However, it is possible.
A cervical orgasm is achieved when the walls of the cervix are stimulated. The infamous ‘G-spot’ is located around here.
The cervix is situated around the lower end of the uterus so stimulating that area means you gotta dig in deep.
How to Achieve This
Ensure that you are completely aroused and wet. It is impossible to experience this kind of orgasm when you are distracted by feelings of guilt or fear or whatever.
Relax and work your magic.
The doggy-style position is best for achieving this kind of orgasm as it allows deep penetration. Start slow, then slowly build up pressure and intensity till you meet that peak.
4. Stimulating Sensitive Areas in the Body
Although this is very rare, certain people admit to achieving orgasm by touching erogenous parts of their body like the breasts, earlobes, and even nerve pathways outside the spinal cord (that is, finding the sensitive areas on the back).
Some people have also achieved orgasm through sexual imagery (either by watching, reading, or even imagining).
Conclusion
As mentioned earlier, there is no ‘one sure way’ how to achieve the female orgasm, but it doesn’t make things more complex. If anything, you are arrayed with more options to achieve maximum pleasure.
Why don’t you give it a try?
*All images are sourced from istockphoto
What's Your Reaction?
