The Mind of the Girl Child

Understanding the female gender is like trying to understand the creation of mankind. It is as simple and as complex as it is, when judging from all perspectives. The female gender is its throne; wild, fierce and strong. Biblically, when God created man from dust, women were brought out from an already made creation, the bone of a man. The female gender is a mysterious gender. In African history, when Oduduwa had seven sons, there were already females in the land.

Awkwardly, biblically, when God cursed Cain and he was made to conquer the land, there were already females in the land. In other words however way you look at it, whether religiously, traditionally, or even scientifically, when you think of the female gender as a mystery, it’s because of the mystery in her creation. Adam woke up and saw a woman, but he had a “dream” of the creation of a woman, not that he saw it. So the creation of woman unlike man, has not actually been explained in detail.

The female gender is fierce, in what way? They can be likened to that of a lioness. In as much as females fight for supremacy, equality and independence, there is a keen instinct which have not been imbibed by the society. It is more of human mentality which unrelatedly, gives birth to a desire to be subject to someone who can take control and take charge. In subsequent times, women who have been give more freedom quickly forms a pact or a gathering, and in each pact there is always a superior that they all listen to, be it male or female.

Consequently, the modern feminist always talk of female independence, equality and rights but still, the world is still where it is and is becoming more imbalanced. I guess mystically, beyond the human reasoning, there is something that brings about “world balance” in the ecosystem. No matter how things may look in the human reasoning, a slight change in it will affect the ecosystem. Like some philosophers will say, “the things that are beyond human are divine”.

The female gender being wild. When likened to that of a lioness (i.e. is not under any subordinate), most times become indecisive; secretly in search for someone to help them in their decisions in life. They say man needs man to survive, in the case of a woman, they need a leader/decider. Yes. I dare say so; someone who can guide them or correct them or help them in taking certain decisions in life.

Looking at the world today, many females who have taken a wrong path or decision in life did that because of two things: One, lack of who to guide them; Two, unconsciously listening to wrong guidance (peer pressure, wrong mentor). No matter how you tame a girl child, when she goes out and there is no one to tame her or put her in perspective, she will surely scavenge round and most often than not, she ends up in the wrong crowd. There is one thing about running/roaming wild, it can be a good thing, as well as a bad thing. In the sense that she gains experience and will have a lot to learn from the experience that cannot be taken away. This brings up a special chapter of every girl child: The curiosity in every girl child.

By nature every girl child is curious, and that is inevitable. Curious in the sense that they always want to know more, little information is never enough. Many girls have ended up in the wrong side in life because of this “curiosity”. It’s like an epidemic in their life that they are not aware of. Like a virus, a brain virus, they can’t get rid of it and it takes over their life for a specific moment of time in their lives. There is a story of a girl who caused humanity a great deal, just because she was curious to know what will happen after eating a fruit that clearly was there before she came. And the male there that was longer than she was, had not even bothered wanting to taste of it.

You hear of stories of girls who mix with the wrong crowd all the time. Some may say they were not aware they were in the wrong crowd but in reality, the human instinct is very suspicious of everybody, especially when the person starts making movement the person can’t explain. But the curiosity of a girl child always make them draw close to such people, because they want to understand, be the spotlight, the one who made a difference of sorts… and this is the actual story of most sad story of the girl child. You know he’s an asshole but there’s that voice inside, “maybe he’ll be different for me, especially if he loves me”

Now let’s talk about the beauty of a girl child. They are likened to that of a lioness above because they are fierce, strong and wild. And like a lioness, they portray the beauty and strength of a pride. There is a subjective instinct in a girl child that goes straight to her feelings. This subjective instinct differentiates most girl child because it’s different in every girl child, different in some and the same in others. What is this subjective instinct?

We have the:

1. intimidating instinct
2. complimentary instinct
3. violent instinct
4. possessive instinct
5. wild instinct

Now when talking about subjective instinct, what I mean here is what makes the girl child subjective to the person in front of them or the person they eventually fall in love with. The instincts listed above have the most common among them, that’s the complimentary instinct. Every girl wants to be complimented. Some may want a particular set of people to compliment them and once this compliment is said by that particular person (that special someone), that girl child, no matter how harsh or gentle she may seem, will blush deep down.

Typically, mixing boring conversation and “nice” compliments with the girl child, will get a girl child listening to the person, even though her attention may not be on the person. Awkwardly, this complementary instinct of a thing has brought many young girl children into bad relationships (the need to want to be complimented).

There are some girls who seems strange to other people because they are somehow subjective to someone that intimidates them. That’s why you hear some girls say, “I want a guy that can control me”. It’s an instinct. Although this is what the feminist will criticize with things like, “she’s bringing down the feminine gender”, instinct is something that is beyond human control. It’s something you just find yourself wanting or wanting to do.

It’s sad enough that most males want to be dominating in a highly violent and intimidating way; ending up causing harm to the girl child. Then again, like it was said in a series named BLACK-ISH in season three, “most people enter into a relationship and marriage hoping to understand each other, when they’ve not first understood who they are first”. The good thing about a girl child is that at the age of 13, a girl child is already planning on building up her family. But the bad thing is that like the male child, they’ve not sat down to understand who they are.

Little advice: if you can’t understand who you are, and make your spouse understand who he is, in order for you people to understand each other, It’s better to walk out of it early rather than sorry.

In this essence, talking about the wild instinct, one would tend to see the girl child wanting somebody that can fight for them no matter what comes their way. I would like to differentiate the wild instinct from the violent instinct in the sense that I view the wild instinct as something that instinctively protects the girl child from external bodies but the violent instinct is something that is instinctively against the girl child. Violence against the girl child is never cool. And we must all learn not to be judgemental to the ones that end up in the violent hand. Don’t criticize, provide help. Don’t destroy, provide amendment.

We used to sing this poem when we were little, reminding us of something, though we didn’t know what.

Little poem: The Girl Child.

In beauty and strength was she begotten

With smiles and love was she accepted

She learnt her first smile from her father

She learnt her loving nature from her mother

But she’s just a child, yet to see the world

Oh cruel world!!!

Why must you stretch your hands of wickedness towards her?

Why would you strike the love that was begotten in her heart?

Why bring her into a state of confusion, a state of unrest,

When she just started her mission in life?

Young girl child

Sorry you have to be that trusting

Sorry your curiosity drew you to the world’s cruelty

What had seem pleasant in the eyes

Has now become your worst nightmare

You can’t even close your eyes anymore

To let your little mind wander

Now the world has succeeded

Because all she sees is cruelty

She’s ready to take things by the balls without twinkling her eye

Fierce is she looking,

One could see the pain she has experienced.

Love has she forgotten,

One could see the pain in her heart.

Now like a virus

She’s ready to spread her experience;

Creating an awareness

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To the young innocent generation.

Blind to the love and fairness that once plagued the Earth

Now all she can see is the world for what it is.

After curiosity, trust is the girl’s child weakness. Bound by their subjective instinct, like curiosity, the girl child desires who she can trust. Everybody looks for those whom they can trust but the girl child is bound by the desire of who she can trust. Like earlier said, they are like the lioness, no matter how fierce they may seem, they tend to want to be in a pack. Should I say loneliness is the greatest fear of the girl child?

Now let’s talk trust. The girl child trusts a certain kind of people. Awkwardly the kind of people that falls in her own imagination and the kind of people she’s always surrounded with are usually different. Trust here may be used in a light term although when brought to the society has a serious value/significance. The curiosity of the girl child affects her trust since curiosity takes more of a stronghold in the girl child than trust.

A girl child can be more curious to trust but cannot be more trusting to curiosity. I’ll explain. The trust of the girl child is influenced by many factors. If not carefully guided, it can easily be manipulated by those factors. Because of the dominant curiosity of the girl child, she does not know when she begins to trust and that, in most cases, is a recurring figure in front of her (person, associate or association).

There are two big L’s in the girl child’s life and if she is not careful about it, she may end up becoming a loser in life or like they say, having the worst fate. These are Love and Loneliness. The girl child wants who she can love to avoid loneliness and because of the fear of being lonely, she tends to always be in search for who to love or who loves her. Now they will say the girl child is unaccountable or inexplicable but she is just unruly searching for who she can love to avoid the burden of being lonely. Don’t blame the girl child for this. It’s just a natural psychological feeling for the girl child.

Now back to the lioness. Like earlier said, she scavenges around to look for a pride to which she can join because no matter how fierce and strong she may be, she still knows she needs the help and support she may need from the rest of the squad of her pride. This being so because what she lacks in strategy or reasoning etc., the other is meant to fill it for her.

In a feminist world, they want it that the girl child is equal to the main child but in reality, why talk about equality when we should be focusing on equity. Allow me to elaborate. This is so because equality states for equal treatment, equity states for balanced treatment. If you are talking about equality of the boy and the girl child, this may mean that to take care of them both, you are to give them equal amount of money.

This is undermining the fact that unlike the boy child, the girl child has special needs e.g. her monthly flow while the boy child is just faced with taking care of his everyday needs of life (food, clothes, transportation, etc.). This thereby means that the money that will be given to the girl child, which is equal to the boy child, will be insufficient to take care of her everyday needs (food, clothes, transportation, etc.). Permit me to give a small illustration. Using a school setting:

Illustration:

Money given to both the girl child and boy child is ₦20 000

From the above illustration, one can clearly see that the boy child has an extra one thousand naira, while the girl child is in need of extra seven thousand naira. This is the unfairness in equality.

Now, talking about equity, this is the real ideology that should be adopted being that equity talks about balanced treatment. From the above illustration, one can see that the boy child and the girl child, though they are human beings, they have different needs. So one should focus on balancing such needs to eliminate the differences. The needs of the girl child should be met to tarry with her needs in life.

I know you may be tempted to argue that it only applies in a school setting but I have a question for you; does it really? In as much as the girl child and the boy child are both human beings, they are clear differences to differentiate them, both physically and psychologically that’s even proven by science.

In conclusion, the girl child is a wonderful creation, bound by the need to belong to a pride; a mysterious creature that will always strive to stand together among many. She will always be hurt when she stands alone, without any. Any in the sense that someone she can confide in. The mistake most people make in handling the girl child is trying to separate her from her pride.I know it’s a strange approach but maybe, just maybe, it should be considered. Instead of saying the girl child should not have any friends, or criticizing all her friends, just because she’s still under you, what of when she’s now under herself or the world? What of when she’s now “independent”? Instead of being controlling and authoritative, why not try being directive, guiding, patient and teaching?

I dare say the best approach for the girl child is trying to walk with her pride. A girl child without her pride like earlier said will always run wild, open easily to manipulation and the bounds of curiosity in her. The world is too cruel for anyone to think to save the girl child is to take her out of her pride. Curiosity they say, kills the cat. She may end up doing the wrong things.

To be able to work and control or rather, direct and enjoy the girl child, one must understand her pride.

THIS IS THE TALE OF THE GIRL CHILD.

Disclaimer: This is not to bring down any particular gender, especially talking about the female sex, but to enlighten and bring out my own personal observations about the female gender.

*All images are sponsored and attributed to pixabay.com