Never Had An Orgasm? A Guide
- Overview
- What is Female Orgasmic Disorder?
- 5 Simple Reasons Why Women Have Difficulty Reaching Orgasm
- Tips To Boosting Self Esteem During Sex
- How Society Contributes To Female Orgasmic Disorder
- A Practical Guide On How To Get An Orgasm
- What To Do While Testing Your Orgasmic Skills
Overview
Hello there, I’m back with this article, just as I promised. If you have never had an orgasm or have never been able to give your partner an orgasm then you should definitely read this. If you just want to read it for fun, that would also work.😉
So according to research, a surprising amount of women have never had an orgasm and are unhappy about it. Unlike men who easily have orgasms, it is more difficult for women to orgasm. For some women, that release remains elusive because of a number of reasons, which we are going to be finding out today. Luckily for us, there are also solutions waiting for us under the many subheadings. Let’s go!
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What is Female Orgasmic Disorder?
Female orgasmic disorder (FOD) refers to difficulty reaching orgasm. It may take a woman with FOD longer to have an orgasm. Or, she might not reach orgasm at all. These issues occur even though the woman is sexually excited. They cannot be explained by a medical condition or a substance, like medication.
FOD is persistent and causes the woman significant distress. It can also cause conflict in her relationships.
Female orgasmic disorder is the second most common sexual dysfunction for women. FOD is estimated to affect 16% to 28% of women in the United States, Europe, and Central and South America. In Asia, the rates range from 30% to 46%.
Source: ISSM
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5 Simple Reasons Why Women Have Difficulty Reaching Orgasm
1. Stress
Stress is a great killer of sex drive. You will find how and why in this article How Sex Kills Your Sex Drive. Stress takes away the fun in life and in your relationship. It makes it difficult for you to get aroused and sufficient arousal is the pathway to a good orgasm. When you are stressed, the hormone estrogen is reduced. This hormone affects a woman’s sex drive and the level of her vagina responsiveness and arousal.
In simple words, lack of the hormone estrogen means it will be harder for you to get wet. The thoughts and anxiety that come with stress also make it difficult for you to stay wet. This is why if you are trying to get an orgasm, the first thing to do is eliminate stressants.
2. Sexual Ignorance
Okay, this might seem a bit odd. You might say, who doesn’t know about sex? Even twelve-year-olds know about sex. Even though you might not believe it, some fully grown women are still ignorant about their body and how it is supposed to work. You might just know that there’s something down there, but do you know what they are and their abilities?
Where is your G-spot? Where is your clitoris? You would agree with me that it will be difficult to pass the exam of a course you have never heard about. That’s how hard it is for you to do really well in sex when you know little or nothing about how it is supposed to work. My advice for you today is to go learn as much as possible about the parts of your nether area and how they work.
3. Low Self Esteem
Does my partner like my body? Do I look good in this position? I’ve got a pimple on my bum, what will he/she think about that? God, the large wheels turning in your head as soon as you undress. These thoughts make it hard for you to fully be “into” the sexual act. With your mind working overdrive, it’s hard to enjoy sex. I have a few tips to solve that problem.
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Tips To Boosting Self Esteem During Sex
- Concentrate On Your Partner
Yes, look at your partner’s body instead. Their facial expression when they see you standing or lying there in all your glory. We both know you close your eyes to keep from getting hurt by those expressions. Don’t. Open your eyes. You’re beautiful.
P.s: If the person’s facial expression, behavior/words make you feel less, you probably shouldn’t be dating/sexing that person.
- Concentrate On The Sensations
This might take some work but where there is a will, there is a way. Push your mind till it leans towards that part of your body. Try to feel every touch and sensation as they happen. Believe me, it works.
- Ask Questions
When in doubt, ask. Do you like my booty? Do you like…? I’m certain you’ll get an “oh yes, I love it” reply. This reply would go a long way in making you feel more at ease and promote your arousal.
4. Negative Attitude To The Sexual Act
Sadly, even in the twenty-first century, there are people who still have an aversion to sex because of sexual taboos and sexual myths. I’ll be talking about these later. A negative attitude towards sex has a way of making you uncomfortable with the sexual act and in turn unable to orgasm.
5. Unwillingness To Admit To Special “needs”
The sexual needs of some persons have been tagged “taboos” by society and this makes it very difficult for them to just get up and say “this is what I want”. I’m not denying the fact that big old traditional shyness could also do the job though.
How Society Contributes To Female Orgasmic Disorder
Society contributes to women’s difficulty in achieving orgasm in a variety of ways. The first is sexual myths.
What are Sexual Myths?
These are stories about sex that are usually passed down from parents to their children. Originally they might have been intended to instill discipline and make their children abstain from sex but in the long run, it can cause serious damage. Some examples of sexual myths are: losing your virginity would be very painful. Hugging a boy could get you pregnant. Sex is painful.
Another one of these ways is by calling certain sexual needs and wants “taboos”. Sexual taboos are sexual acts that are seen by the majority of people to be odd and weird. Examples of sexual taboos are rough sex, bondage, and blindfolding, fetishes, oral sex, pegging, voyeurism, multiple partners sex, from threesomes to gangbangs.
The society also causes women to suffer from psychosexual immaturity. This is a situation where an individual lacks a fully formed sexual identity. There are a whole lot of heterosexual women out there who aren’t really heterosexual. They just haven’t been able to or been allowed to create their own sexual identities.
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A Practical Guide On How To Get An Orgasm
Assess The Situation
This is the first step and it is a very important one. Ask yourself these questions.
- Why have I never had an orgasm?
- What could I have done wrong over the years?
- What is the possible solution?
Forget That You’ve Never Had An Orgasm
After asking those questions and getting answers, you’ll have to carry out the impossible task of forgetting you’ve never had an orgasm. What am I saying? That’s impossible. Lol. Pardon me. What you will do is push that knowledge to the farthest corner of your mind where there must surely be a dark dungeon. Push the knowledge inside and ensure you throw away the key.
Develop A Positive Attitude About Your Body
Yes. This might take some work and by work I mean exercises, skincare routine, mumbling I’m beautiful in front of a mirror thirty times a day. Basically, anything that works to boost your feel-good system. You need to love that body. Go to a spa. Dress sexily and do your make up. Discover your own beauty.
Get A Dildo/Vibrator
Oh yes, I said it. What did you think? Of course, we will need an instrument. Duh. I recommend you get a vibrator as opposed to an ordinary dildo. This is because it helps you along the way. One of the best vibrators out there is the rabbit. This is because it stimulates both the clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously.
Masturbate
Contrary to what you might have been told, masturbation is a healthy and pleasurable act. Masturbation actually helps greatly because it opens your eyes to your own needs. It is like an advanced practical class on your body. When you masturbate, you get to know what works and what doesn’t.
It is also essential because you’ll be alone and at ease. Free from real and imagined judgment from another person. This would help you relax and reduce the chances of you giving up when your first try doesn’t work out. Remember to take it easy on yourself while masturbating. You could also watch videos on how to touch yourself to get an orgasm.
Test Your Skills With Your New Partner
What is the use of having skills when we can’t use them? When you have been able to achieve that orgasm on your own, it is time to do it with the person you love. Make sure to tell your partner about your needs, your likes, and dislikes.
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What To Do While Testing Your Orgasmic Skills
- Don’t Be Anxious
- Tell Your Partner How You Like It
- Remember That It Might Not Happen Immediately
Done reading? You are ready! Go on and have mind-blowing orgasms!
If you loved this piece and found it helpful, or you think there is something I should add, don’t forget to say so in the comment box. Like or share. Bye!
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