If It’s Meant to Be, It’ll Be
The sun-kissed ladies in colorful bikinis bathed the beach in all corners. I looked at the wide expanse of sand sharing borders with the Atlantic ocean and gasped in awe at the different shades of brown and black skin tones sprawled all over the beach bank. If there ever was a paradise, this had to be it. I shook my head slowly and smiled. “This has to be it.”
I took baby steps while walking, choosing to tiptoe around the throng of people lying around, having picnics, playing sports, or even throwing parties. I didn’t want to step on anyone or spoil anything so I had to be careful. I was still looking down and focusing on the obstacles I had in front of me when I accidentally bumped into him.
My cup of very expensive vodka went sailing through the wind. It found its resting place on the beach shirt of a man behind me, his partner hurriedly dabbing his clothes while cursing heavily. It had been a while I had heard anyone cuss me that terribly, I felt honored.
“Oh my, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t see you coming, I was so busy trying to avoid the obstacles below me that I forgot to focus on the one that might pop up in front of me. Let me get that for you. Again, I’m so sorry.”
He took the bottle of vodka away from my hand and stretched out his wide palm to take my well-manicured fingers. In a matter of minutes, we maneuvered through the small crowds and found ourselves a clear spot to talk.
It was all I needed to complete my picturesque image of paradise– me wearing a crop top, sarong, and sunnies, sitting in a sandy sea of beautiful black bodies while enjoying the sunset view of the ocean beside a fine black man. “Fine black man…” I began to murmur under my breath.
“Uh? What did you say?” He had a puzzled look on his face that suggested that he didn’t know what I was talking about. I said a word of thanks inwardly and happily replied “nothing.” He squinted his eyes in a disbelieving look and pouted childishly before saying “okay”. It was super cute and I didn’t even know when I started laughing.
“Hey, what’s so funny? Why are you laughing so much? Is it my clothes? Or is there something on my face? Tell me na.” I tried to speak but I kept choking on my spasms of laughter. It’s not that it was that funny, it was just that the facial expressions on his face were hilarious.
I laughed so hard that I had to hold on to him for balance. He hissed and pushed me away gently, but even as I fell to the floor I still couldn’t stop laughing. It wasn’t until he started walking away from me that I came to my senses. I realized how rude I must have been to have been laughing so hard at a stranger.
“Stranger… why the hell was I laughing so hard because of a stranger? This is not like me, I’m usually calm and reserved but I’ve been laughing like a hyena for over ten minutes now. The poor thing, he must be feeling so self-conscious right now. I know I would if it had happened to me.”
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All the mirth on my face vanished and was replaced with a sober look. I genuinely felt remorseful for my childish outburst so I ran up to him to apologize. “Wait up! Wait… for… meee!” I hadn’t had any reason to run for almost ten years and it was telling on me. It wasn’t even up to a hundred-meter dash but I was already grunting like an oversexed fornicator at the verge of climaxing.
“Sex… well it has been a while since I had that. If only I could get one night with a fine black man on this paradise beach.” I sighed heavily. Tall, dark and handsome had not budged an inch with all the ruckus I had made while trying to catch up to him. I had never been ignored or felt so humiliated in my entire life. Still, I deserve it. I embarrassed him first so it’s only right that I get a taste of my own medicine.
“Why are you running? It’s obvious you didn’t want to talk to me so why are you running now? What do you have to say now? Why the drama?” He looked pissed but somehow that only made me want to talk to him the more.
His angry face wasn’t scary, if anything it was inviting. Crisp, chiseled jawline, full but not too wide black upper lip and pink lower lip, full but not bushy black brows and lashes, amber-brown eyes, and finally, perfect dentition. Not to mention beards that were to die for, this guy was taking me to bed that night.
“I-I’m I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to laugh at you like that, I honestly still don’t know why I laughed like that. I don’t laugh in public, much less in front of a stranger and even lesser, at the said stranger. It was rude and insensitive of me. I’m sorry.” I had my puppy eyes set as a standby in case my words failed me. “Puppy eyes never fail” I smiled devilishly to myself but mustered all the innocence my pretty face could produce. I wanted this man.
“Well… if you apologize like that I would have to be a demon to refuse you and as fate would have it, I’m Yoruba so….” It was his turn to smile devilishly. His smile caused a leap in my core and I felt familiar wetness between my thighs. I was going to sleep with him that night.
“I see… well, my Yoruba demon, I’ll have you know that I’m not scared of demons. After all, demons are only fallen angels. Try me and see if I’ll run away.” He looked at me intently, I could see the glint in his amber pupils. “By the way, my name is Jason. Jason Kimberly.” I laughed but was careful not to laugh too much. “You had me for a sec there Jason. I thought you were gonna go all Jason Mamoa on me.” He laughed along and eyed me playfully before speaking.
“Okay… I’ll try you Little Miss Daredevil. Let’s see how long you will last.” I smirked back.
“First off, my name is Kikelomo, and second, I last long. You’re in for a joy ride honey.” I emphasized the ride so he would know what I was referring to and then added two winks for effect. He laughed knowingly and I joined him, that was how my unforgettable night started.
“Right there, baby… that’s the spot. D-Don’t stop honey… ahh….” What sorcery was this? I had had various sexual encounters but none of them had got me this excited, this awestruck, this… dumbstruck. I was a dumb woman because no matter how much I tried to make out a sound, only soft moans and squeaks were able to be forced out.
I clamped both my legs on his broad back in a cross-legged position and whispered into his ear. “Go in deeper, baby. I want all of you inside of me.” He grunted his reply and I felt an all-mighty push into my Eden. A creamy wave poured into me and my paradise was complete.
The climax had me coughing over his shoulder. Never had I ever experienced something as violent, dangerous, or leg wobbling as that. He had me at his mercy feet and I was more than willing to lick every single drop of his love lotion if it meant getting another go with him that night.
“I must say that I have been with many men but none of them have loved me the way you did tonight. I feel I didn’t just have sex tonight, I made love. With you. This is scary because we only just met a few hours ago and even though my moral compass is screaming that I run out that door and never look back, I wanna stay here with you. I wanna sleep and wake up by your side in the morning. It’s crazy the kind of thoughts that are coursing through my mind right now but…”
He was staring hard at me and his scrutinizing gaze had me choking on my lust-induced rant. “But what Kiki? Finish your statement.” His voice was a cool breeze, deep but refreshing. I basked in the glory of it and murmured a ‘hallelujah’ under my breath. I was starting to love this man.
“I-I was saying that it’s crazy, the kind of thoughts that are coursing through my mind right now but…” He looked at me with confusion written all over his face. I took three deep breaths and mentally patted myself on the back before speaking.
“But… I think I’m in love with you Jason.” I looked at him square in the face before adding again for emphasis. “I think I’ve fallen for you, Jason. Body, soul, and spirit, you have me eating off your palms right now and I’m scared.”
It was the same type of whirlwind relationship that I was just coming out of. I had planned this trip to this paradise beach as a way to get away from the hurt I was still nursing from my recent breakup. Seun had done me good and dirty. He had used me and spoilt me, he was the true definition of a Yoruba demon.
I knew all these but I was too in love to leave. He eventually helped me out by breaking up with me on our third anniversary when I had dressed up expecting a proposal from him. It was an unforgettable night because I had never felt as humiliated as I did in my entire life. I ran out of the restaurant crying that night.
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Jason was still watching me quietly. He was a man that loved to take his time. He walked all the way to the sunset balcony buck naked, it was a wholesome view alright. I looked at the scattered sheets and duvet lying on the ground and immediately felt a wetness between my legs. He loves to take his time.” I knew I was high on his love pills, I had overdosed on his sex tablets. “Or do I call it ‘sexlets’? It sounds cool to me. Wait what am I thinking right now? Focus Kiki. Focus, dammit!
I shook my head violently as though doing that would shake away the frivolous thoughts from my mind. Jason was still staring quietly, I was at a loss as to what to do now. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally spoke up and when he did, his words fell like a hammer to my ears.
“Let’s go to bed Kiki. There’s a lot I want to say but I don’t wanna talk right now because I am still in my feelings. Let’s talk about it in the morning, yeah? I want us to discuss this when we are clear-headed.” I wanted to say so much but I only pouted in reply. He was right and I knew it, for all I knew, I might not feel this way in the morning. It was definitely more sensible to discuss it then. “Okay.”
He took me by the hand and dressed the bed with me. After which we laid down, legs intertwined, his lips to my forehead and my chest to his. This was definitely the paradise I had envisioned for myself when I left my house for the trip. I smiled brightly and nestled deeper into his warm embrace. The soft curly hair on his chest tickled and taunted me playfully so I played with it back and twirled strands around my fingers till I slept off.
***
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I felt for his hard, chiseled body but I touched nothing. Only the smooth soft sheet greeted me. I opened my eyes suddenly, I knew this scene too well. I had watched enough movies to know. Jason had left me that morning before sunrise.
“I had wished for a one night stand and I got it. Fuck!” I searched around frantically, looking for something, anything, that would leave a trace of him in the room. I looked everywhere but I found nothing. He had left and taken all the evidence of my paradise with him. I sighed heavily and stood up to take a shower, still cursing myself for wishing for a one night stand when I could have wished for a full-time relationship.
I walked out of the shower naked, I always preferred to let the water dry on my skin instead of towel drying. I was still walking around the room, admiring my full breasts in the mirror when my eyes fell on a note on the bedside drawer. How my eyes had escaped it earlier still surprised me. I picked it up to read it inwardly, his beautiful yet manly handwriting captured my eyes and heart all over again.
“Hey, Kiki… umm… trust you well? I’m sorry I just upped and left you like that while you were sleeping. Honestly, I didn’t want to leave. You look so much less scary when you are sleeping. Lol. I know it was really cowardly of me to leave this way but I couldn’t bring myself to discuss it with you in person. I didn’t know how to tell you that I was scared because I felt like I was already falling in love with you. You, a stranger I met only a few hours ago.
I guess you could say that I literally had to run away from my feelings because the truth is I am just coming out of a toxic relationship. I don’t think I’m ready to get into another one. I love you Kiki. I really do, but I need to take care of myself first. I want to become a better man so that if life throws me the opportunity of meeting you again, I’ll be able to take care of you the way you deserve.
I know you’ve been treated poorly in your previous relationships. (You need to stop sleep talking, lol.) But as cute as it was to watch you sleep talk, my heart bled with all you’ve been through and I don’t wanna add to that hurt.
I wanna treat you better Kikelomo. So, as much as it hurts to leave, I love you too much to stay right now as I’m broken. I need to get fixed first and if it’s meant to be, it’ll be honey.
I love you. xoxo.”
I held the paper tight to my chest and wept heavily, I was mourning all we could have been but never got the chance to. I read it again twice before neatly folding it into my breast pocket. I looked around the room one last time as I walked to the door, and in a small voice, I whispered his words again, this time for myself.
“If it’s meant to be, it’ll be honey.”