I Can’t Keep Up

“I am tired of your father,” Annie’s mother’s voice sounded stern on the phone, similar to the way she sounded when she would scold her as a little kid. 

“I am tired of your crying Annabelle.”

“I am tired of your attitude Annabelle.”

“Uuuugh Annabelle, I am tired of you running around, go and play in your room.”

She stopped mid-stride, making Bisi, who was following closely behind, bump into her. Father? Did she say, father? Well, that was new.

“Annabelle… Annabelle, are you even listening to me?”

Finding her voice, she replied, “Yes mum.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“Uhh… I…I was just surprised… What did daddy do?”

 “Ohh I’m sorry, of course, I shocked you, speaking about your father like that. I’m just so frustrated, the man is selfish, rude and completely insensitive, and I refuse to put up with it anymore…”

 She waved a go-ahead at Bisi, as she began to step away from the canteen entrance. She was hoping this was going to be a short call, hence why she picked up in the first place but clearly her mum had a lot on her mind, so there was no need to starve two people. Her friend nodded and entered the small hall, as Annie walked away in search of a quiet spot. She caught a whiff of Cook’s special village Jollof and felt a rumble in her stomach. She really didn’t want to miss lunch today.

 “…he never listens to me, never! He has a better relationship with his driver than he does me. Do you know Tiawo is getting married this Saturday?” Her mother continued to rant.

“Sorry ma, I’m confused, who is Tiawo?”

“Baba Ibeji’s daughter, he’s going to get her a cake, apparently she only eats chocolate. He couldn’t remember what day your university graduation was, even after I told him six different times. But this, his driver’s daughter’s wedding day and her favourite cake flavour is a lot easier to keep in mind,”

“Mum, you know he’s fond of Baba, the man’s been around for years…”

“What about Nkechi?”

“Who?” 

“His secretary! He knows all her children’s birthdays, but does he remember our anniversary? Never,”

“At least he’s nice to people…”

“You know he missed my Old Girls brunch at the house last week?”

“He had to work?”

“No, he was at home, locked in his office the entire night. He claims that he didn’t even know there was a party going on,”

“Wasn’t there any music?”

“Darling, there was a live band, he said he thought I was just enjoying a little music time and didn’t want to disturb,”

Ohh dad, why? Annie looked at her watch, it was ten minutes till her lunch break was over. Maybe her mum would wrap up the call soon.

 “And that office, he practically lives there now, sleeps there most nights. He’s supposed to be retired, what is a retired man even doing in an office,” Or maybe Bisi would save her some leftover grains in her plate. 

 “I don’t know…”

“I’m giving him the papers today,”

“What papers?”

“The divorce papers Annabelle, keep up,”

“Woah mum, divorce?” Annie didn’t realize she had raised her voice until she saw some passing students give her inquisitive looks, she lowered her head and her voice, “Don’t you think that’s a bit extreme…” she said in a harsh whisper. Annie felt uneasy, her mum was dramatic on a normal day but the “d” word, even that was a bit far for her. At least so she thought.

“Well extreme situations call for extreme measures,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Mummy…”

“Darling, it’s been a long time coming,”

“Ha… have you even talked to daddy about all this?”

“I have, many times but knowing him this will still come as a shock,”

“But mu—“

“Ohh darling, I have another call coming in, we’ll talk later. Bye,”

When Annabelle dropped on the seat across from her friend an odd feeling had settled in her stomach.

 Completely oblivious to her friend’s mood change, Bisi leaned in conspiringly close, “Okay, so the first batch is out but I hear Cook is stashing some rice in that cooler under the table. It’s supposed to be for the principal and his cronies but I think I can sweet talk him into giving you a plate. We need to act fast because I saw Mrs Andrews eying the cooler earlier, she’s just dying for seconds, that old cow. You know, just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she gets to eat everything her eyes touch,” she said in a loud whisper.

“I don’t want it,”

“What?” she looked up at her friend, suddenly noticing her for the first time since she got back, “What’s wrong?”

“My mum is divorcing my dad,” Annie put her palms on her face and rubbed vigorously at nothing, it was a nervous habit, “This is crazy, I’m too old to be a kid of divorce,”

“I’m guessing that’s what the surprise call was about,”

“Yes,” she realized what her hands were doing and squeezed them into a fist then dropped them on the table with a bang, “It’s so typical of my mother to spring something like this on me out of nowhere,”

“Woah, calm down, have you even, for a second considered what she’s going through? That this might be hard on her too? Besides you always said that you never see your parents talk,”

“Yeah but I just thought that they had some quiet understanding thing going on, a lot of married couples have that and they’re happy,”

“Come on Annie, you grew up in a home with two parents who loved you, didn’t fight or cause any sort of emotional damage to you. You should be grateful, they’ve done right by you and now maybe they need to do what’s right for them,”

Annie let out a heavy sigh, “You’re right,”

“Yes, now we can—“

“Now I’ll have to go for therapy, to help me come to terms with my parents’ separation, I’d probably have to take time off work too, a month, maybe two. Considering what I’m going through I’m going to need a lot of time to understand and grieve,”

“You’re right,”

“Yeah, I’ll just ask for permission—“

“Not about that, about what you said earlier. You are too old for this,”

“Daddy?” Annie yelled at the staircase, “Daddy?” she yelled again when she got no answer, “Daddy?” she gave it a third try and finally received a faint, “Yes?” in reply. She jogged briskly up the stairs, straight to her father’s home office and knocked sharply on the door.

“Annie, I didn’t know you were coming over,” her father greeted her with a wide smile when he opened the door. She loved that smile when she would sneak away from boarding school and quake at her thought of her mum’s reaction, that smile always gave her confidence. It was just there, always present, at least as long as he was around. 

“Well, I was going to call but I decided it would be better to talk in person,”

“It always is,” he said as he gave her a quick hug and a pat on the back, “So what can I do for you?” he walked back into his office and sat at his desk.

She took the seat across from him, her face set like a potential business partner, she took a deep breath and she started, “Daddy this is about the whole situation, I don’t want to use the “d” word. I know mum has made up her mind and it can be very difficult to sway her but I think if we brainstorm we can figure out how to salvage this,”

He looked up at her, his face a picture of innocent confusion as he slowly pulled off his reading glasses, “Salvage what?”

“Your marriage,”

“My marriage?”

“Yes daddy, we need to fix things with mum… don’t you want to?”

“Annie, I don’t know what you’re talking about, maybe we should wait for your mother to get back so we can all talk about it,” he said as he put his glasses back on and picked up the newspaper waiting on his desk.

“I don’t think she’s coming back,”

“Of course she is coming, she probably went on another shopping spree in Abuja but she should be back soon,”

Annie put a palm on her cheek and rubbed at it, “You don’t even know do you?”

“Know what?” he asked, barely looking up from his paper.

“That she’s gone, dad. She packed her things and left you,”

That made him pause for a moment, then he belched out-loud laughter, “Don’t be ridiculous, your mother would never leave me, she loves me,”

“Ohh dad,” Annie shook her head, the man was completely clueless. She felt a little sorry for him, whatever he was doing, he really wasn’t doing it intentionally. 

 Seeing the seriousness of her expression he got up and moved out of his office, Annie followed behind as he led her to his bedroom. Her father opened the door and went straight for the wardrobe, her mother’s side opened to show empty space. Her dad went still.

“Daddy?”

“I don’t understand…”

“She was upset, but I’m sure if you try something new, she’ll—“

“No!”

“No?” she asked incredulously.

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, turning to face her.

“I understand what mum told me enough, you don’t listen to her, you don’t pay attention to anything. Someone can only love you so long without reciprocation daddy, she got tired,”

“You don’t understand anything Annie,”

His denial made her angry, “You didn’t even know she was gone!”

“She travels all the time she doesn’t need my permission to do that,”

How? How could a fifty-seven year old be this naïve? “This time she didn’t travel, she just left. She’s gone, dad,”

“You just don’t get it,”

Annie let out a frustrated grunt, “Then explain it to me, please,”

Her father sat on the bed, his head hung, “Your mother, I loved her first, for a long time, long before she ever even noticed me,” 

Annie took a seat next to him.

“Back in university, Jumoke was perfect, she had everything that I ever wanted in a woman and I made that clear to her. But she wasn’t interested in me and she made that clear too. Still, I tried, I was there for her whenever she needed me, hoping one day she would finally see that we would be good together. It worked for a while and we got close… that was until she started dating Paul Amadi. Rich, spoiled and a complete idiot but she couldn’t see past fine boy charm. He was awful, he treated your mother like dirt, cheated on her, yelled at her in public and all the while she stayed with him. Finally, I had enough, I couldn’t continue to watch them together so I decided to step back, even as her friend. It was hard but I stayed away from her, and I tried to get over her. Then she came back,” he shook his head, let out a humourless chuckle, “All of a sudden, showed up at my door at midnight, her face tear-stained. You see, good ole Paul had finally done it, he had finally made Jumoke see him for the horrible person that he was and she left him. I asked why she’d come to me and do you know what she said?”

“What?”

“She said, “You were the only one I wanted to turn to,” imagine that? After her idiot boyfriend got some other girl pregnant she decided I was the only one to turn to, ” he scoffed like he was reliving the moment, right there beside her, “So I’m sure you can guess what I did,”

“Forgive her?”

“Kicked her out,”

 “You what?”

“I told her to leave, leave my dorm and leave my life. I felt: Now she wants to see me? Now she wants to be with me? Well, it was too late, I shut the door in her face and went straight to bed,”

“Daddy I’m confused,”

“She stayed…”

“Who?”

“Your mother Annie, keep up,”

“Outside your dorm?”

“Yes, she spent the entire night there, the next morning she left but only to get me breakfast and she was back. Waiting quietly outside my door, my roommate eventually let her in and I spoke to her. I intentionally wasn’t nice or considerate, I told her that she was stupid when she was with Amadi and she agreed. We started dating a short time after that and I was never the nice guy again. I treated your mother just the way she wanted to be treated and in two years we were married,”

“The way she wanted to be treated?” 

 “Yes, like I don’t care too much. Your mother likes to love more and I gave her that, the opportunity to love me more,”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Of course not,”

Annie could not believe her ears, here was her liberal professor father talking about disrespecting her mother because she wanted it. Her entire childhood was a lie. “So you don’t realize how ridiculous you sound? You’re claiming that mum enjoys it when you treat her badly,”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,”

This was too much to take in at once, she was beginning to have a headache, “So how do you explain this, ehn? Her leaving?”

“That’s not her, something must be making her do this… maybe someone,”

“Daddy that someone is you, you’re the reason she’s doing all of it, she needs you to treat her better otherwise she won’t come home,” Annie stood up and stormed out of her parents’ room.

“Hello?” Annie answered the phone and tucked it between her ear and her shoulder as she began sifting through the pile of scripts on her desk.

“I can’t take it anymore,”

“Who is this?”

“What do you mean by that Annabelle? It’s your mother, who else would it be?” Jumoke asked angrily.

“Well, this is not your number but forgive me for being surprised,”

“I had to borrow Lade’s phone, mine is too busy ringing every second,”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what a phone is supposed to do?”

“Ohh don’t be snide Annabelle, I’m tired of your attitude,”

“Sorry ma,” she said, chastised.

“Besides Phones aren’t supposed to ring non-stop, and I’m telling you it has not stopped, not once this whole day,”

“Wow, you must be a busy woman,”

“No, that’s not it, it’s your father,”

Annie paused her search, “Ohh, why is he calling?”

Her mum let out a tired sigh, “To get me back,”

“Ohh?”

“He’s been bugging me all week, sending chocolates, flowers, jewellery, all sorts of presents and calling me every minute…”

“Ohh…”

“Yesterday he spent three hours on the phone telling how much he loved me, he even started crying at some point. I can’t take it anymore,”

“Mum he’s just trying—“

“To suffocate me?”

“No, to win you back,”

“With flowers? What am I supposed to do with flowers? They’ve filled up my shop now, two people asked if I was a florist today,”

Annie smiled, he was actually trying, “I think it’s nice of him,”

“Of course you do, you always take your father’s side,”

“I’m not taking sides mum,”

“Well you should and it should be mine, considering all that I have been through with that man,”

“Mum it sounds like he is trying to change,”

“So a couple of gifts and phone calls are supposed to make up for thirty years of him ignoring, mistreating and emotionally hurting me? My therapist was right, no one understands my plight more than me,”

“You got a therapist?”

“Well she’s my friend, she’s a therapist and we talk, so I just call my therapist,”

“How long have you been seeing her?”

“For a few months, she helped me put things in perspective,”

“She told you to leave daddy?”

“No, I figured that on my own, she just gave me the confidence to say it out loud,”

“So this is really what you want, to divorce dad?” Annie asked.

“It’s what I need,”

Her mother’s words broke her heart, “Even if he’s willing to change?”

Jumoke let out another loud sigh, “ You’re really your father’s girl how could I expect you to understand, Diana was right about that too,”

“Diana?”

“My therapist, keep up darling,”

 “No, I just…”

“I have to go, just tell your dad to stop it with the gifts please,” And in an instant, she was gone, Annie stared at her phone for a moment. Why did her mum like to do this to her? Just throw bombs at her and disappear. She looked at the time, she could do a thirty-minute trip. She grabbed her bag and rushed out of her office.

 Annie walked into her father’s office with a heavy heart, she tried, she really did but there was nothing she could do to stop her parent’s marriage from falling apart.

“Annie is everything, okay?”

Her father noticed her sulk the moment he opened the door. She looked up at her dad and gave him a soft smile. She knew her dad wasn’t the most present father growing up and clearly, he had some very warped views on how his wife should be treated but he wasn’t a bad man. Maybe her mum was right, maybe she did have a bias when it came to him but times like this when he asked simple yet thoughtful questions or when he gave his easy smiles, she felt very content to call him her dad, “I’m so sorry,”

His brows furrowed in concern, “What is it, dear? What are you sorry for?”

“I tried my best to help you and mum but I just… I just couldn’t. I’m sorry daddy, I tried,”

He looked at her and was silent for a moment then engulfed her in a tight hug. Letting go he kissed her forehead and started to walk out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To get my wife back,” he answered, determined, not stopping.

Annie followed him in a panic; he walked downstairs, out of the front door and made his way to the back of the house. He marched over to the large boy’s quarters that housed her mother’s tailor shop, stood in front of it and started to yell.

“Jumoke! Jumoke!”

Lade, one of her apprentices came out.

“Tell Jumoke that I will stand out here all day shouting if she doesn’t come out, I’m tired of playing games,”

At the tone of her father’s voice, Lade rushed in to get her mother. It was clear that the man wasn’t going anywhere. Her mother came out a moment later.

“Jumoke! Jumo—“

“Ah ahn Azeez, what is it?”

“We need to talk,”

She crossed her arms in front of her as she eyed him, “So that’s why you want to make the whole neighbourhood deaf?”

“If I must,”

“Fine, I’m here, oya talk,”

Annie held her breath, this was the moment that would make or break her parent’s relationship. Her father must have felt the tension too, because he took a deep breath before speaking.

“Pack your things, you’re moving back into the house,”

Annie felt her heart sink into her stomach, there was no coming back from this. She watched her mother stand still in shock taking heavy breathing. It made her think of a bull about to charge.

“How dare you?” her voice was quiet but very menacing in Annie’s opinion.

“I’m done with your games Jumoke, I am not playing anymore. Go inside and tell Lade to pack your clothes back into the house,”

Annie felt the overwhelming urge to cover her eyes but it was overshadowed by the need to see the drama through. She rubbed her palm vigorously on her cheek.

Her mother looked ready to pounce, “Azeez I will not—“ 

“I told the cook to make iyon and afang with goat meat just the way you like it. Now let’s go, enough wasting time,”

“Daddy I don’t think—“ Annie tried to intervene.

“Alright,” her mum said suddenly. Then she turned and yelled into the store, “Lade, you and Peace start carrying my boxes back into the house,”

Annie’s head swivelled back and forth between her mum and her dad. Jumoke walked up to her husband, kissed him on the cheek and hand in hand the couple began to walk. “I… I… I… don’t get it. What are you doing?”

Her mum turned and gave her a confident smile, “We’re getting back together, keep up honey,”

Then they walked back to the house talking to each other like nothing happened.

Annie shook her head, “I can’t keep up,” she said and began to follow them.

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