8 Ways To Reject A Proposal Without Hurting The Person
How To Reject A Proposal Without Hurting The Person |
Saying “no” when someone asks you out can be extremely difficult, especially when you are sensitive and sentimental. However, it is important that you are direct and honest with your reply when the time comes to reject a proposal. Below are some easy tips to follow when you are just not ready to say “yes” to that person.
How to Reject A Proposal Without Hurting The Person
1. Be Honest
When someone asks you out, be honest and direct in your response. The more straightforward you are in your answer, the more likely it will be that you won’t have to deal with the person’s pestering. Don’t make things up, you will only be giving the person false hope.
For example, “I don’t know for now…let me think about it” suggests that you might present a positive reply after some time. Instead of the person leaving completely, s(he) will continue to hover around you with the hopes that you will proffer a favourable response when you eventually give a definite answer. You don’t want this. Don’t lead him on, be honest.
There is no need to lie to the person either. If you are already in a relationship and that is your reason for rejecting the person’s proposal, say so. While being sentimental might appear chivalric, always remember that nobody likes to be pitied. It is always better to come out clean when it comes to matters of the heart.
It is not rude to say ‘no’. It is your life and you can decide on whatever choice you want to make. It is when you lie or make excuses to evade the questions that you are really being rude.
2. Try the Compliment Sandwich
Rejecting a proposal might not be as easy as saying no to a date but This is a very good approach to make a clean break when you are trying to say ‘no’. It is especially handy for the extra-polite/sensitive/sentimental people that find it difficult to tell people ‘no’.
The compliment sandwich refers to a comment that clearly rejects someone but in a very polite and respectful manner. In essence, you ‘sandwich’ your negative response between two positive responses.
For example, “I think you’re really amazing but I’m not interested in going out with anyone. You’re really cool, so I’m sure you’ll find someone that will be interested in you too.”
If the person in question happens to be a friend and you are worried that dating might ruin the friendship, you can simply say, “I love spending time with you because I think you are really fun to be with, but I don’t see myself being in a romantic relationship with you. I hope this doesn’t affect our friendship though, I value you too much to lose our friendship.”
3. Respond Respectfully
One way to learn how to speak respectfully is to first ask yourself if you would be okay with someone speaking to you in that manner. If you think about it and conclude that you wouldn’t like it, don’t talk to someone that way. Treat them the way you would like to be treated.
It takes a lot of courage to walk up to someone and tell them that you like them. Even asking someone out on a date can be a very big deal to some people, especially introverts. Do not be disrespectful while you reject a proposal so that you don’t wind up hurting their feelings.
When someone asks you out, you tend to feel entitled. However, don’t forget that you could also be in that position. When you are rejecting someone’s proposal, do it with respect for the person’s feelings too.
It is not always what you say, but how you say it. Your approach to rejecting someone could help them move on better or launch them into depression that may lead to suicide.
Be careful how you say things.
4. Maintain a Firm Stand
If the person finds it difficult to accept your decision and starts pestering you, you might need to take a firm stand by cutting off contact for a while until everything cools off.
Rejecting someone can be a very delicate position to be in. It takes maturity and a strong sense of responsibility to handle the situation properly.
Never give in to accepting something you don’t want because the person is being persistent. Stand firm on your decision. Your feelings are your responsibility as much as the other person’s own is to them. It is your life. Don’t let someone coerce you into getting into something you do not want to get into.
Thank the person respectfully and leave if the person starts misbehaving or making a scene.
5. Hold On To Your Friendship
Having a close friend or best friend confess their feelings to you can put you in a very awkward situation. Especially as it is known to both parties that you feel a level of care and affection for each other, even if the love and affection is strictly platonic. Convincing such a person that you don’t have feelings for them might be difficult, especially if they are naturally stubborn. However, the needful must be done.
You rejecting a friend’s proposal doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to separate from the person. You don’t need to start acting distant either, it will only make the rejection worse for your friend.
If the said friend explicitly asks for space to recover, hold on to that friendship and continue relating with him/her as though nothing happened. Good friends are not easy to come by and if the person ends up developing feelings for you, it is probably a result of caring too much about you. You don’t want to lose that.
6. Communicate Properly
Again, it is not just what is said but how it is said. Non-verbal elements say a lot when you are communicating. While trying to pass your message across, pay attention to:
- Your tone of voice. While no one is asking you to accept going on a date that you are not interested in, you should also mind the tone with which you reject the person. Try to sound polite but firm. A polite but weak response could infer uncertain interest. You would be giving the person green light to approach you later.
- Direct eye contact. When you keep looking away or avoiding someone’s gaze when they are asking you out, they will infer that you are acting shy because of their question. Since people tend to act shy around people they like a lot, they might misinterpret you looking away. Also, maintaining eye contact will give you a sense of seriousness. The person will have no choice but to leave when they see you seriously rejecting their proposal.
Sometimes, your body language speaks louder than words.
- Your pitch and volume also matter a lot. You speaking loudly and high-pitched in public, for example, might appear like you are trying to get people’s attention. There is no need to further embarrass someone after rejecting their proposal. Quietly voice your opinion and try to leave on peaceful terms.
In a situation where you have prior knowledge about the intended proposal, you can try the next two steps.
7. Create a Plan
If you are already expecting him or her to ask you out on a date and you are not interested, you can easily formulate a plan on what you want to say when you want to reject a proposal.
Having a plan is always a good option as you have the opportunity to run various simulations in your head and get to choose the most effective course of action.
If it will help, you can also write it down and memorize it so you have definite words to say even in the heated atmosphere. This is because it is very easy to stutter and lose balance when one is under a lot of pressure.
8. Wait For The Right Moment
This one works for when you already agreed but decided to back out after agreeing. It can be very tough, but it is all the more reason why you are advised to be firm on your decision when you are asked from the onset.
Be sensitive to the person’s mood and the atmosphere. Find the right time to break the news to the person. Rejection is always better in person and it shows that you respect the person. Getting rejected is painful, but getting rejected over the phone is even worse. Look for a good time to break the news to the person. It might hurt at first but at the end of the day, honesty always prevails.
It also helps to give an explanation for your rejection. You don’t want the other person to think they got rejected because they are not good enough. Clarity makes it easier to accept rejection.
All images are sourced from unsplash
What's Your Reaction?
