How to Make Yourself a Better Woman: 13th Indisputable

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Who is A Better Woman and Why Does Anyone Want or Need to be Her?

A better woman is one who is in her element, one who has learned to grow, one who is making a conscious effort each day, to be a more refined version of who she was the day before. A better woman is fearless and determined.

A better woman is a growing woman: A woman who is not afraid to step out of limitations and societal cages. She is one who loves, who is hurt but not afraid to love again.

We must understand that being a better woman does not connote being better than another woman but being better than the woman you were yesterday. Being better and living better. A better YOU. Now, who wants to be a better woman?

Let’s show you how.

13 Tips On How To Be A Better Woman

1. Decide What You Want For Yourself

To move progressively in any direction, you must first decide what direction you’re moving towards. To become a better woman, this is the first step you must take. You must decide what kind of woman you want to be. Do you want to be a career woman? Do you want to be a businesswoman? Do you want to move to another state? Or the mountains, perhaps? Are you considering a second degree? Or a Masters degree? Do you want to be a full-time housewife and mother? Would you rather remain unmarried for the rest of your life? Do you want to travel around the world?

Whatever it is you decide, do not be scared to express it and work towards it. It is your life. This is your jurisdiction. You’re the decision-maker here. So, do not be scared to decide what it is you want. Correctly mapping out the direction you wish to follow will help you to gauge your progress and eventually become successful in your pursuit.

2. Break Free

To be a better woman, you must learn how to release yourself from the shackles that are tied to your feet. To step out from the limitations, the conventional and the norm and break free. A better woman will not sit down watching her life whittle away little by little and do nothing about it. A better woman will stand and fight for what is hers. With all her heart, mind, body and soul.

Ever seen women leading in various facets of life, doing things that people never imagined women could accomplish? Have you seen those women? Are you one of them? These women have broken free from all the chains holding them down. They are in their element, taking charge of their lives and destiny.

Do you want to be a better woman? Break free.

3. Be Proud Of Yourself

There are certain limitations another person can put in your way. It might be your boss standing in the way of your promotion at work or a partner suppressing your need to express yourself and be who you truly are. These are just external forces and as scary and disturbing as they seem, they are not your real problems. Your real problem is YOU. Yes, you. Who exactly do you think you are? Do you think you’re awesome? Do you believe you are doing just great, learning and becoming more every day? Are you proud of the woman you already are? If all your answers to these questions are not in the affirmative, then there is a problem somewhere.

Before anyone else, you must learn to be proud of yourself. Be proud of your growth, no matter how infinitesimal you might think it is. It is your growth and you must be proud of it. Do not let anybody decide how proud you should feel about your grade in a test or your grade point average. Do not let anybody decide how excited you should feel when you finally take a step towards getting over your fear of bridges.

More than anyone else, you understand your grief, your joy, your sadness, your expectations, your supposed fears and your limitations. You understand them and only you get to decide how you should feel about a step in the right direction. So, please be proud. Raise your head high and walk tall.

4. Embrace Your Own Imperfections

According to popular parlance, nobody is perfect. But I beg to disagree. Everybody is perfect, perfect in their own imperfections. You do not have to meet every societal standard of perfection before you decide how close to perfect you are, when you are already perfect. Embrace your imperfections. We all have imperfections but that does not make you any less of who you actually are. You remain the firestorm that you are with or without your braces. You still continue to be beautiful even with the ginormous pimples on your face.

That you are not like the next girl sitting close to you does not make you of any less value than she is. Do not wait to reach a certain level of societally prescribed levels of perfection before you embrace your own self and walk confidently in your own skin. Only when you have learnt to love yourself for who you actually are in that moment and at that particular time even with all your flaws that society will never forget to remind you about, only then can you begin to embrace your imperfections and walk with pride in the skin you were born in which is totally and unashamedly yours.

5. Try New Things

To be a better woman, you must ensure that you do not lock yourself in a box. Try not to be addicted to doing the same things over and over again. Try new things! Go on adventures, and do crazy things you never imagined you could do. Only by doing that, will you realize who you actually are. Living your whole life with a routine will make life monotonous, uneventful and unfulfilling.

There is a whole lot in this world to discover, a lot of beautiful and exotic places to see, fantastic and mouthwatering food to taste, and crazy and life-changing experiences that you have never had. In trying new things, you get introduced to aspects and depths of your personality that you never thought existed. Go out of the box. Any kind of box. It might be the box you put yourself in or even a box which society has put you in. No matter the box, just make sure you go outside it.

6. Be Responsible

Responsibility is not just a fancy word that we all know and hear about and that we think every sane person should possess as an attribute. Taking responsibility is how to make yourself a better person. Responsibility should reflect in our lives every day. Bottom line is that to be a better woman, you must cultivate the habit of not making excuses. Learn not to come up readily with excuses when an issue comes up but be answerable and ready to respond for or to any action performed by you. In cases where you decide or volunteer to be responsible for one reason or the other, keep to your word and remain reliable.

Do not be quick to lay blame on other people. Nobody, except you, is to be held responsible for your own actions. No matter how many people are directly involved, learn to take responsibility for your actions. Now responsibility does not just count for your actions but also your thoughts, your decisions and your life in general. Learn to look your mistakes and shortcomings in the face and take responsibility for them by making conscious efforts and steps to change. Only in realizing that you are responsible for your life and decisions do you learn to be better and better every single day.

7. Get An Education

Acquiring knowledge is how to make yourself a better woman. This point cannot be overemphasized. There is a great deal of difference between a woman who has gotten a certain level of education for herself, and the woman who refused to be educated. To get access to more opportunities and more platforms in today’s world, an education is needed. Most times, how educated you are will determine how far or how successful you would be. Remember, the plan is to be better than you were years or even months ago and one way to do it is to get an education. An educated woman is a better woman.

8. Read Books

There are a million worlds waiting to be uncovered. These worlds are hidden in the pages of volumes and volumes of books. A woman who does not read runs the risk of rotting. Yes, it is that extreme. Now, while rotting in this context might not be in a physical sense which denotes the gradual decomposition and deterioration of a particular substance, it is important to note that even like the dead human body rots, the mind so rots.

Just like we feed our bodies to ensure continuous growth and development, we must also learn to feed our minds to also ensure continuous growth and development and as we all know, one major way, if not the only way, of feeding our minds is to read. It is inescapable. Only in continuous study of materials and also the subsequent application of knowledge in real life affairs, can we hope to become wiser and inadvertently, a better woman.

9. Be Forgiving

We have all been hurt before. Whether by someone close and dear to us or by an outsider. Either way, every single person in this world must have experienced hurt and pain that came from betrayals, disappointments, deceit and the likes at one point of their lives or the other. Now, letting those feelings of hurt and pain define the course and direction of your life is where the anomaly comes in.

Everybody gets hurt, some just learn to mask it better than others. But to experience true liberty and freedom, we must let go of the past. We must learn to be forgiving of the shortcomings of other people we might meet during the course of our lives. We must not let the effects of their actions or even inactions decide how we run our lives. Holding on to hurt and pain will turn into a great weight on a person’s heart and mind.

This weight will slow you down, slow your progress down and in turn, make you continually bitter, frustrated and angry at the world. To be a better woman, this great decline must be avoided. How? By letting go. Letting go does not mean weakness or submission to oppression. Letting go is strong and beautiful and that is what a better woman aspires to become.

10. Take Care Of Yourself

Someone, please get me a megaphone. This needs to be louder. Take care of yourself! Take good care of yourself. Now, by taking care of yourself, we are not saying you should begin to conform to any standard set by any community. Taking care of yourself means making YOU a priority. The stress of handling a job, getting an education, taking care of a home, raising children, running a business, building your career or being involved in any of the several self-improvement engagements will definitely lead to neglect of one’s self.

As important as all those things are, it is more important to take care of the person who has to handle these things. And guess who that person is. YOU. More than anyone, you must learn to put yourself first. Put your health first, your peace of mind first and your stability first. Learn to take yourself out on dates. Go to the spa and spoil yourself silly. Get your manicure and pedicure done. Add a new hairstyle to the mix. Get a well-deserved massage. Cook yourself a homemade meal or order take outs.

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Whichever suits your fancy. When you feel overwhelmed with your challenges and responsibilities, take a breather. Bow out, recharge, and return energized and ready for another phase. You cannot give what you don’t have, to be a better woman, you need to treat yourself kindly.

11. The Independent Woman

I know. I know. This concept is almost over-flogged but it is very important to keep reiterating it. Woman, be independent! I know women have been conditioned by history and society to be subservient, bowing to the authority of the male gender. Relying on a man at every level of her growth to provide most, if not all of their needs.

First of all, she is born and nurtured under a male authority representing a father figure. Next, she is passed over to another male authority, in this case, her husband. Peradventure, she lives longer than her husband, she is transferred to another male authority, her first son. This is the life cycle of a woman, especially an African woman.

But these days, women have decided to break out from these norms. Women are stepping out from these traditions that tell them that the only place they can be useful and of any value is in the kitchen and on the matrimonial bed. Women are rising up, taking a stand and claiming their relevance in different aspects of society. Being independent is not striving to be better than those of the male gender but to be better than we once were.

A better woman aims to live a fulfilling life, doing whatever she chooses to do, not being scared of society’s reaction to her supposed defiance and going in for what she loves and what she chooses and not what people want and expect her to go for. You must understand that on your own, you are a force.

You do not need to depend on your partner or someone else to stand. You are strong on your own and you can achieve everything you want. Only when you realize this and take the appropriate steps do you become a better woman.

12. Listen More

You only learn when you listen. A better woman is not always in a haste to put a word in, to be heard. Sometimes, you need to pay attention. In paying attention, you discover some intricacies you might have missed in your struggle and need to be heard. If you are not a good listener or you are a person who refuses to listen to reason and advice from reliable sources, you will not grow.

Refusing to listen to the thoughts and opinions of others will directly stunt your growth. Becoming better is all about growth. Therefore, if you’re not growing, that means you’re not getting better and that’s not what you want right? So, to be a better woman, please learn to listen. Pay more attention to others. You might not always be right. Be open to corrections and suggestions, only then is true growth guaranteed.

13. Speak Up

Now that you’re becoming better and better, doing things yourself, taking responsibility for your actions and all the other good steps, you must also not forget to SPEAK UP. Do not be too shy or too independent or proud to know when you actually need help. Knowing you actually need help is a sign that you have become a better woman. You must also ensure you speak up and ask those who you believe are reliable, for their help.

No person is an island. We all need each other to survive. While there are a lot of strange people who would refuse to help for one reason or the other, there are also genuine people. People who are genuinely interested in your case and would go to great lengths to see your problem solved. Don’t die inside, speak up.