‘Hoe Alerts’ That Aren’t Really Hoe Alerts
Do you ever get really pissed when you do or say certain things and people misunderstand you? For me, it can be frustrating. There are times when I give certain comments or voice certain opinions that are contrary to the norm and get the ‘look’. It’s almost as if I’m being attacked for delving from the status quo.
While the ‘hoe’ title carries several negative connotations, there are certain actions or words that females have portrayed that doesn’t necessarily make them a ‘hoe’, even though society tags them as such. Sometimes, those ‘hoe alerts’ are not really hoe alerts. They are simply women being human.
Before we delve into the hoe alerts proper, we should first define the person of a hoe. By the end of this article, males will understand that sometimes, she really isn’t trying to give you the ‘green light’, and the females will understand that it is okay to think differently from society’s standard.
At the end of the day, the only standard we should set for ourselves is us– a better, more improved version of ourselves. Not anyone.
This topic is a much controversial one among ladies, although they are not usually confident enough to voice it out. I hope to give them a voice with this article by addressing subtopics that fall under these alleged ‘hoe alerts’.
Who Is a Hoe?
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According to the Urban dictionary, a hoe is “a girl who goes after every guy, says sluty things, doesn’t care about anyone but herself and boys and wears clothes to try to make her look like she has a butt.”
To be honest, this definition still has me creasing. I mean she wears clothes that seem to help her look like she has ass? That seems hilarious to me. Let’s check out one more definition and then we will move into the topic proper.
The Online Slang Dictionary defines a hoe as “a general insult, usually applied to females. A promiscuous female, and diminutive form of “whore.”
From this dictionary definition, we can see that the title ‘hoe’ is a defacing one. It is apparently referred to as an insult and even goes as far as slandering the identity of the female, calling her a ‘whore’. It is also interesting to note that many friends call themselves this insulting name, why they do so, I do not understand for the life of me.
However, this article is not out to discuss why people are called hoes but to address those things that people do that make society conclude that they are promiscuous. Even when it isn’t always so.
Am I A Hoe?
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I believe with every thought, word, and action, there is a motive behind it. It is this motive that really matters and is a defining factor as to whether an action is right, wrong, good, or bad.
For instance, I can decide to give some money to a homeless man by the road. That is the right thing to do. In the eyes of society, I have done a good deed. But, if I did it with the motive of getting people’s attention and praises, it ceases to be a good deed. The action was right, the motive was wrong.
In the same vein, I can decide to wear a sleeveless crop top and a pair of shorts to class if the weather is too hot for my skin to handle. It doesn’t mean I am trying to market my body for onlookers to come and patronize my product (even though that is what some females will conclude on.)
It also most definitely does not mean I want to attract any form of sexual attraction from the opposite sex. I am simply a very hot female, seeking an outfit that will help me not suffocate and faint during a very hot day in class.
Does showing off a little skin make me a hoe then? This leads us to plausible hoe alerts and discussions to determine whether or not they are. We shall be discussing four subtopics in total. I hope by the end of this discussion, you will feel more confident in the way you dress, talk, and even walk-in public, without worrying about what the next person is saying about you as a woman!
‘Hoe Alerts’ That Aren’t Really Hoe Alerts
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Q1: Does It Make Me a Hoe If 90% of My Friends Are Guys?
This question is number one on my list because I have had my fair share of this accusation. My answer to this question? A solid “NO”.
Having every nine out of ten of your friends as guys does not make you a slut and it sure does not mean you like to run a daycare in your DMs. (Again, this one is another personal insult I receive because I like to call all my friends my babies. Lol.)
On the contrary, statistics have shown that women who have more male friends tend to be more faithful to their partners in their relationship. A study was conducted recently on the sperm competition theory (you might love to read it up), after the research was conducted they concluded that men who felt their women were receiving a lot of attention from other men like their friends, coworkers, or even passersby, tend to have even more sex and intimacy in their relationship.
PsychologyToday provided a reason why it is so.
“…The higher a woman’s sexual libido, the more likely she is to have more male friends. Not because she is having sex with them, but because women with higher sexual desire get along better with other men, and often, are seen to act more like guys.”
So, does having more male friends make you a hoe? Absolutely not. Facts never lie. Besides, girls who have more male friends are known to be more emotionally consistent and responsible. They are usually cheerful, stable, and dependable. They also exude confidence, especially when it comes to matters that concern the opposite sex, because they have grown to understand them over time, being that they hang around them a lot.
Q2: Does Wearing Waist Beads and Anklets Make Me a Hoe?
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Waist beads are a clear symbol of African heritage and beauty. It exemplifies maturity, fertility, and womanhood. Many myths have arisen in recent times, all in a bid to downplay the pros of wearing waist beads. Some of which are the roots of the claim that females who wear waist beads and anklets are promiscuous.
My answer to this question? No. Wearing waist beads does NOT make you a hoe.
Waist beads have deep roots in African culture from time immemorial. They symbolize a girl’s passage into womanhood and in ancient times, were used to notify prospective suitors that a girl was finally ripe for marriage. This was done by inserting little bells to the waist bead so that as the young lady walked, the sounds would attract men’s attention to her. Nothing promiscuous there.
In recent times, however, waist beads have been known to help monitor abdominal weight gain or loss. Instead of jumping on a scale to check your overall body weight (which can’t tell you about your abdominal weight specifically), a lady can monitor abdominal weight gain or loss by the tightness or looseness of the beads on her belly. How helpful is that?!
Waist beads are also known to correct posture. Whether you are sitting, standing, walking, or even lying down, the way you position yourself will be corrected by the tightness you will feel from the waist beads if it isn’t correct.
They also carry a sense of sensuality and enhance a female’s confidence in her sensuality. Many females have commented on how they have become more self-aware since they started wearing waist beads and how they feel more ‘sexy’ in their skin.
Since average female battles with major cases of self insecurity and self-hate, finding something that makes them fall in love with their bodies should not be condemned.
Many brown and black women in the diaspora have started wearing waist beads too. For them, it is a symbol of pride and heritage. It is a means to connect to the ancestral roots they were not privileged to experience because of the transatlantic trade. It is a form of identifying with their ‘home’.
Anklets are like waist beads, but for ankles. Though they do not correct posture or boost fertility, they do enhance a woman’s sexuality and beautify her feet. They are for adornment not for identification as whores.
Does wearing these symbols of identification, African heritage, beautification, and womanhood then make one a slut? I highly doubt that.
Q3: Is Falling for Two Guys a Hoe Alert?
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Another interesting question I know most girls will relate to😅. My answer? Maybe, maybe not😂💔.
Well, there are two angles to it. That a girl constantly finds herself falling for two guys doesn’t necessarily mean she is a prostitute. Feelings are emotions and these emotions are basically products of hormones. In other words, with the right amount of time, care and attention, a girl is very likely to fall for a guy. (Especially if she is a hopeless romantic like I am. Lol.)
It is important to note, however, that the fact that she finds herself liking another guy doesn’t mean she has stopped loving her partner. As long as she knows how to play her cards right and she can properly manage her emotions, letting her partner know about her weakness of falling for another person should provide healthy competition in the relationship. What do I mean? I’ll explain it.
Just like with the sperm competition theory, when a sensible guy senses or knows that his territory is being threatened, it makes him sit uptight in the relationship. He knows that if he doesn’t play his role, someone else could, and because he loves his woman too much to let go of her, he becomes an even better partner.
So, in my opinion, as long as the ‘falling girl’ remains faithful and transparent with her partner, we really can’t term her a hoe. After all, you can’t force yourself to hate someone or stop liking them. Instead, you can be honest and have your partner spoil you so much that eventually, you only have eyes for him!
When then does this weakness of always falling for two guys become a hoe alert? It’s simple. When she hides around to do it, does it with more than two guys simultaneously and, when she enjoys the double/triple/quadruple dating. I mean, that’s just scary, to say the least😅.
Q4: Does Showing Off Skin Make Me a Hoe?
A very controversial topic indeed, one that even females agree to disagree on. Does showing off some skin make me a hoe? I’d like to think not.
As opposed to popular opinion, I don’t think the fact that a lady decides to show off her back or parts of her tummy or thighs or cleavage, makes her a hoe. As long as it is done in moderation. Apostle Paul admonishes us through the Bible, in 1Corinthians 14:40. He said, “… But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.”
The bible is said to be a life manual that has been given to every human, to show him how to live. If then this manual teaches that all things should be done moderately, then it obviously also affects our dressing.
Your skin is your body. You have every right to do what you will with it, but without moderation, your beautiful skin could become an object of ridicule and nobody wants that.
There is a popular saying that you dress the way you want to be addressed. No one is asking to wear ‘Mary Amaka’ skirts or tie scarves that cover your head down to your eyebrows, lol. Simply dress decent and sexy.
You can dress sexy and still not look indecent. Strike a balance. A lady can wear cleavages that end at the beginning of the bridge to create a sexual appeal. That doesn’t mean she is a hoe. Most dinner dresses have high slits, low cleavages, and backs. No one would call a lady a hoe for putting on that.
Another important thing to note about this topic is the venue. Where do you wanna wear your crop tops and low backs too? If it’s the church, surely you would expect negative comments from the elders in the church. You definitely can’t wear shorts to an official meeting either.
All in all, you need to understand that sexiness isn’t in what you wear but how you wear them– with confidence. No matter what you wear, if you aren’t confident in it, you will not look attractive. Simple. So, if you feel a strong need to pull that skirt down or pull up the cleavage of that blouse every five minutes, it means you aren’t comfortable in it. And if you decide to go out in it, it means you have an ulterior motive behind wearing that cloth.
It becomes a hoe alert when you still go-ahead to do that thing when you are not comfortable doing it because once comfort is out of it, it means you have an ulterior motive behind it.
The most important thing to note in all these is being comfortable in your skin. Whatever you do, however you dress, do it because it’s you, not because you are trying to be someone else. Don’t allow peer pressure or social media to make you act in a way that you are not.
Be you. Stay true to yourself!
I would love to leave you with a probable hoe alert question and get your views on it. The question is:
“Is bending down to pick something from the floor in public a hoe alert?”
I look forward to your take on that!😊
Are there other ‘hoe alerts’ you have noticed and would like to add? Or do you have a contrary opinion about any of the topics I mentioned? Feel free to mention your contributions in the comments section. We look forward to your views!
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