Frozen tears

Jide walked down the street to the Cafe for some coffee. Another man would perhaps have gone for a drink and a long smoke but Jide didn’t drink and neither did he smoke, so coffee was the only way out. He dipped his hand deeper into his overcoat and puffed out mist from his mouth. The Cafe door opened with a gentle push and Jide walked into its cosy warmth.

“Welcome” the waitress close to the door said in a singsong voice. Jide smiled at her and followed her when she beckoned.

“What would you like?”

“A double latte please and pineapple pie” Jide said without looking at the menu. The waitress smiled at him. He felt it as her eyes swept his left hand and found it bare. She raised them to his face, and smiled at him again. He watched her walk away, saw her talking with her colleague as she got his order, they both looked at him and giggled. Jide smiled inwardly, women!

The bell rang and the door beside Jide’s table opened and spat out a man wearing a dark blue turtleneck shirt. His skin was a very bright yellow, but his hair gave away his black heritage. It was black, soft and wooly. He looked through the tables inside the cafe casually, his hands in his pocket as he balanced on the balls of his feet. Then his eyes fell on the empty seat at Jide’s table and he walked over.

“Hello” he greeted the dark chocolate man sitting at the table. The young man looked up at him and Anselm noticed a scar on top of his left eyebrow. The scar gave the eyebrow a subtle lift that gave the young man an inquisitive appearance. Coupled with his innocent face and bright liquid eyes he looked as strange as a gypsy.

“You British?” The young man asked, Anselm raised his eyebrows. No reply to his greeting.

“Yes” he replied.

“A Black British Lad,” the young man said. He smiled and Anselm wondered why he found it funny. “My name is Jide” he said, stretching out his hand. Anselm took the hand and found that it was soft and supple. This young man’s hand wasn’t used to hard work.

“Where are you from?” He asked him.

“Here, America. My Dad’s Nigerian, mom is American.” He said and smiled so deep that his dimples showed. Anselm briefly registered that this young man was someone who was happy with himself and his identity. He couldn’t help envying him.

“What brings you here?” Jide asked and Anselm looked up to see the waitress walking towards the table.

“Hello Cindy” he greeted when she reached their table. Cindy bent and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hello big brother” she said. “Know this guy?” She asked, indicating the pretty brown man.

“No, we just met” he replied. His sister looked disappointed. “Aww you like him?” Cindy slapped him on the shoulder and he burst out laughing. Jide smiled at them both. Laughing too when Cindy quickly dropped his order and fled. She returned with her Brother’s cup of coffee but she still couldn’t meet Jide’s eyes.

“How come you guys are related?” Jide asked when Cindy was far enough from them. Anselm smiled fondly at Cindy’s back.

“She is adopted” he said.

“Oh”

“Yeah”

“You scared her” Jide said. Anselm dropped his cup of coffee and stared at the young man.

“Nah, she’ll get over it. She’s shy but it doesn’t last. Next time you’re here, she’ll be all over you” he reassured him. Jide raised his coffee and toasted to Anselm’s almost full one.

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***

The stripper flung her breast into Anselm’s face. He caught them before they landed and he squeezed for his money’s worth. Two squeezes and she was off him and dancing again on stage. Now dispossessed of soft mounds of flesh, Anselm’s hand found the half empty bottle of wine. Bypassing the wine glass, he brought the bottle to his lips.

“My boy” his father said from behind him. Though said without effort, those words still held the threat they held many years ago. My boy “don’t ride a bicycle, you’re too much for that,” my boy “you’re going to college,” my boy “I never want to see you hanging around those guys again,” my boy” get out of my house!”. So on and so forth.

His father was the ultimate tyrant and Anselm was all too supple, the old man didn’t even need effort to bend his poor second born.

This strip club hang out was his father’s idea of father and son bonding activity. Anselm dropped the bottle, his hand hit the glass and it fell to the floor. The sound of its fall got lost inside the loud music. Staggering up from his chair, He made his way towards the restroom.

“Hey baby” a sugary sweet voice crooned. Anselm turned to see the stripper who rocked him standing at the door.

“Hey” he replied weakly. Emptying his stomach has taken its toll on him. She walked towards him, her waist swinging from side to side. When she reached him, his hand came in between them defensively.

“This is the men’s bathroom!” He protested as she rubbed her supple body against him. The young lady just moaned in reply. In the end, he took her with her back against the wall and both their faces mashed together. Then he left the bathroom more depressed than when he got inside it.

***

“What did he say?” Fisher asked when Jide got back to his desk. Jide sat down heavily on his chair before replying.

“He said it didn’t work out. That no one bought the app”

“That means you’re not going to get a raise again, this time” Fisher’s voice was pained.

“No” Jide said blankly.

“Damn!” The other man swore. Then he passed Jide a cup of coffee. Jide took it with an appreciative inclination of his head. His inside was boiling but he was too helpless to do anything about it. This was the fifth app he was creating for the company without getting the expected dividends. These days, working here felt like pouring water into a basket. He remembered the day he got the job.

“Hello Sir” he said when the interviewer finally sat in front of him. He was a middle aged white man with a pudgy belly tied tightly with a belt.

“Sit down Mr Drew” he said. Jide sat down with his hands carefully folded in his lap and his face at the appropriate professional angle.

“From your credentials I see you’re a web designer with a high level of skill” the interviewer said. Jide inclined his head modestly.

“And you are Nigerian.” He said. Jide frowned.

“American Sir, my father is Nigerian” he replied.

“What do they say about the apple not falling far from the tree, huh?” He asked. Jide didn’t react, he knew the interviewer was just trying to get a rise out of him by saying the most offensive thing he could think of. He kept his mouth shut and he got the job.

One productive year gone and he was still where he was when he first walked into this office. No promotion, no raise. His work was always praised but no one ever bought it. Jide was beginning to doubt his boss’s truthfulness.

He drank the last of the coffee, picked his car keys and went to ask for permission to remain at work but the sly old man gave him the day off. He made his way to the coffee shop, inhaling the fresh breeze and absorbing the sun’s healing rays. God bless Summer.

***

The bell rang and Anslem turned towards the door, the person entered with his back to him but Anslem could see the well toned coffee colored arm that he saw months ago and couldn’t forget about. The young man turned and Anselm’s face broke into a smile, Jide! It wasn’t long before Jide spied Anselm sitting at “their” table.

“Hello Mate!” He greeted sarcastically when he got to the table. Anselm clapped him at the back a little harder than he would have so Jide would know he didn’t find it funny.

“It’s been a long while,” he said.

“Yes” Jide said and smiled. His skin was even browner than before and it looked so glossy and shiny Anselm almost wanted to trade his skin for skin like that.

“How have you been?” He asked instead. Jide frowned and loosened his tie. He looked so relaxed. As though he had been here a thousand times, as though no time had passed since they saw last winter.

“Been working, hard,” he said. “what about you?”

“Umm, I’ve been trying to make ends meet just like you. Only I haven’t been so lucky”

“What do you mean?” Jide asked. Anselm looked away.

“I don’t have where to stay currently” his eyes strayed to Cindy who was laughing loudly with a customer and Jide knew instinctively that he didn’t want his sister to know the situation of things.

“You used to staying in a mansion?” Jide asked.

Anselm was shocked “No” he said quickly.

“Then you can come stay with me” Jide said.

“What? You’d let me stay with you?” Anselm asked.

“You a serial killer?” Jide asked. Anselm laughed out loud.

“No I’m not “ he replied.

“Good”

Image Source: Unsplash

***

The doorbell rang. Jide walked towards the door, careful not to slip on the floor because of his wet feet. He spied through the keyhole and saw the slight figure of a woman standing on the front steps. Her head was covered with a black cap so he couldn’t see her face. He unclasped the chain and opened the door.

“Hi!” the young woman said.

“Hello Cindy” Jide replied and he was blessed with her sweet smile. He was about to step away so she could come in before he realized he was making a mistake.

“Ermm” he said trying hard to come up with something. She looked amused, seeing how he placed himself between her and the insides of his house.

“I know he lives here now, he told me,” she said. Jide still didn’t believe her but he finally decided it didn’t matter and stepped out of the way.

“Nice furniture” she said. “Picked them out yourself?”

“Yes, I did” Jide replied.

“Cute”

“I like beautiful things,” he said and he looked at her, the young woman began to rummage through her bag. When she found what she was looking for, she thrust the small package into Jide’s hands.

“I have to go,” she said.

“Alright “ said Jide and he walked her to the door.

***

“Cindy called today” Jide said through a mouth full of toothpaste.

“What?” Anselm asked puzzled. His hair was tousled and his sweatpants pooled around his ankles as he sat on the toilet seat.

“Cindy” Jide said again.

“Oh! How is she? What did she get for me?” He asked excitedly. Jide pointed at the parcel on the wooden cabinet. Anselm got up from the toilet seat butt naked before he bent down to pick his trousers. Jide averted his eyes and exited the bathroom. He registered a very funny feeling in his chest. His heart was racing at a faster pace than normal.

It was not as if he had never seen a naked man before, it was only recently that he stopped living with his brothers who had no modesty at all when it came to displaying naked flesh. Yet his heart was beating now. Funny as there was nothing different about this man.

“Hey bro, what are you working on?” Anselm asked leaning over his chair. Jide smiled at the man’s attempt to sound American. Nothing special? This was a man who in the short time they had spent together had shown that he cared what direction Jide was taking with his life. Cared enough to make sure he wasn’t just following the leading of the wind yet never finding home. He even called him Bro!

“A crypto currency investment app. The app is coming along fine. I just developed the UI modules of the app.

“Wow. That’s big, man! You could also do this you know, think of using Laravel for the backend.

“What? You know a little about computers?” Jide asked in surprise.

“I know quite a bit” Anselm replied smiling wryly. “I’ve always wanted to be like you, you know”.

“Like me?”

“Yes. A web designer. When I was eighteen, I got in touch with a firm that wanted to take me in for training” he continued.

“What happened?” Jide said.

“My father wouldn’t hear of it. He wanted me to go to college. I went to college and I’ve never wanted to be anything since then” he finished. “So what if you change the way this thing looks.ge, What then?”

***

Jide held the woman’s head in his hand as she wept into his neck, drooling and all. As he consoled her, he fantasized about running a hot bath that would melt the phlegm from his skin.

“I never did anything.. I never..” She sobbed.

“I’m sorry, none of it is your fault” Jide said. Cindy raised her head to look at him, before he could fully process the image of her wet red face, she was kissing him full on the mouth. Soon enough they were on the bed and when they were done Jide went into the bathroom and ran a hot bath for both of them.

“What will Anselm say when he knows?” He asked her while sponging the place between her back and her shoulder blades.

“Nothing..I’m a grown woman and besides, he’s always known,” she said.

“Known what?” Jide asked.

“That I’m sweet on you” she said and she smiled sweetly so she looked like a smiling blonde angel covered with soap suds.

“Oh” Jide replied.

***

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His phone rang and Anselm put the last strawberry in his mouth so he could get it out of his pocket.

“Hello”

“Who answers a phone call with hello?” A deep male voice said.

“Hey Best mate!” Anselm said and laughed. He knew Jide hated to be called Best mate.

“Where are you?” The other man asked.

“Central Park”

“Okay, don’t move” Jide said and ended the call.

Fifteen minutes later, Anselm watched Jide walk towards him. He was still wearing his work clothes; jacket, button up shirt, shoes and all. His shoulders stretched the thick material of his jacket in a very fine manner. Jide was one of those people who were born with the perfect body and didn’t need much effort to maintain it.

“How are you?” Anselm asked when Jide plopped tiredly beside him.

“I quit my job”

“What?” Anselm said, unable to believe his ears. His face broke into a smile as he stared at Jide who looked so happy and relieved.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“I don’t know. Work on the app?” Jide said.

“WE will work on the app and make it the best since well, sliced bread” Anselm said and he squeezed Jide’s arm comfortingly.

“Come here” Jide said drawing him in for a hug and their lips crashed against each other. For a moment they both froze in that space of time but Anselm broke the spell by wrapping His arms around Jide and squeezing so hard the other man learned the meaning of happiness and comfort.

***

“It is the police” Jide heard from the living room. He closed the computer and went out to join Anselm.

“What is this?” He asked.

One of the policemen stepped forward, a tall redhead man. He brandished his badge like a weapon

“Officer White, NYPD. We have a warrant to search your house” he said. Jide stepped out of the way for them to pass. Anselm looked at him and he could see the same confusion he felt mirrored in the other man’s eyes.

“Find anything?” He asked in a bitter amusement when the policemen came out.

“I’m sorry Sir. We have to take you in for questioning”. Jide saw an officer pick up his Macbook, he stared helplessly as another one brought out Anselm’s. They were both ushered out of the house.

***

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People walked in and out of the police station. Jide knew because he could hear their feet but no one had come near his place of confinement. Yesterday, they had come to take Anselm without saying a word to him. All the policemen treated him like he was a hardened criminal involved in some kind of classified case. He didn’t know what to think of their attitude.

Time spent in jail had made him think long and hard about the decisions he had made in life. Which of them had come back to haunt him? Was it beating up the white bully in high school? Was it dropping out of college? Was it leaving his job? Everything seemed like a red flag. Sometimes he wondered about Anselm, what would the man think about him now? Their relationship had only begun to blossom and now this.

A familiar pair of shoes appeared in front of his eyes and Jide looked up. Speak of the devil. He jumped up from his bench and went to meet Anselm who had been followed by two police officers.

“What did they say?” Jide asked him, wrapping his hand around Anselm’s hands that were wrapped around the bars.

“They said you’re here for fraud. The app was just a ploy to defraud persons,” Anslem whispered.

“What!?” Jide shouted. Anselm’s eyes told him to be quiet.

“What? How? Why me? Huh? Why only me?” Jide asked. “We’d been working on it together!”

“I don’t know” Anselm said, his lower lip quivered. Jide stared at him without pity. “Perhaps it is because you are Black” he blurted.

“What?” Jide asked shocked. Yet when he processed it, he realized how true it was.

“But so are you. Why aren’t you in here with me?”

“I don’t know!” Anslem said raising his voice.

“How long am I going to be here? Why are you not here with me!?” Jide shouted.

“A long while! I’m not here because I’m not Black Jide. I’m not Black like you” Anselm said. Then he walked away. Jide stared at Anselm’s receding form, the tears stuck behind his eyes. He sat down and began to laugh bitterly.