Exciting Date Ideas to Spice Up Your Long Term Relationship
Hey sweetie, let’s face it, after years of takeout menus and movie nights, even the most epic love story can start to feel a little, well, predictable. Do you ever look at your partner across the dinner table and wonder where the butterflies went? (Don’t worry, it’s not just you!) This is more of a common occurrence than a lot of us like to admit. And this has got nothing to do with falling out of love, it is just that you crave the old spell and want it back but aren’t sure where to start.
Don’t worry cause I’ve got good news. Rekindling that spark is totally doable! In fact, I`ve got a whole arsenal of creative date night ideas that’ll banish boredom faster than you can say “Netflix and chill” (although, hey, there’s always a time for that too). From heart-pounding adventures to cozy nights-in that’ll make you feel like teenagers all over again, we’ve got something to light a fire under even the most routine relationship.
So come along with your partner in crime, and get ready let me show you how to put the sizzle back into date night!
Why Do Date Nights Matter in Long Term Relationships?
People always ask why it is important to keep on with date nights activities in a long term relationship, and the truth is that they ask this because it is easy to forget what it means to commit to making a relationship work. Think of it like this: remember that initial rush of excitement when you first started dating? The butterflies, the stolen glances, the thrill of trying new things together? Date nights were heavenly moments. They were perfect moments that left you reeling with excitement and laughter. Well, date nights from the past don’t have to be different from what you do now. It is your chance to recapture that magic – minus the awkward first-date jitters, of course. But here are a 5 reasons why you need to go on dates even if you’re in a long term relationship:
1. It Helps You Create a Spark
When you’ve been with someone for years, it’s easy to get bored, unadventurous and lose the spark that brought you together. Date nights are essential for rekindling passion and trying new things together. Even simple activities like cooking a meal at home, going out for coffee, or taking a walk together can create a fresh spark, help you reconnect and remind you why you fell in love.
2. It Helps You Escape The Routine
Long-term relationships often fall into comfortable routines – wake up, go to work, make dinner, watch TV, go to bed, repeat. While routines are stable, they can also be boring. Date nights give you an opportunity to break out of the usual pattern and experience something new with your partner. Trying an exciting new restaurant, seeing a show, going dancing, or engaging in another shared interest can help combat feelings of boredom and monotony.
3. It Helps You Strengthen Your Bond
Sharing new experiences together releases oxytocin, the “love hormone” which helps to strengthen feelings of closeness and intimacy. Regular date nights give you quality one-on-one time to talk, laugh, and simply enjoy each other’s company without distractions (like the kids). This dedicated time together is why date nights are important as it will reinforce your emotional and physical connection by keeping your relationship.
4. It Strengthens Sexual Intimacy
Spending time together will reinforce your emotional and physical connection, keeping your relationship healthy and happy for the long run. Date nights may require some effort and planning, but the rewards of a stronger, livelier relationship are well worth it. Making the time to connect with your partner should be a top priority, no matter how long you’ve been together.
5. It Helps You Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
There’s nothing quite like sharing a new experience with your partner to reignite the spark. Getting out of your comfort zone gives you a fresh perspective about life and the importance of your spouse in the large spectrum of things. Why not push yourselves outside of your routine and comfort zone by trying an exciting activity together?
11 Key Tips on How to Spice Up Your Long Term Relationship Again
1. Take a Dance Class
Learning a new skill alongside your partner is a great way to bond over laughter and clumsy missteps. Take a salsa, swing, or ballroom dancing class. As you master the steps together, you’ll get an adrenaline rush from trying something different, all while gazing into each other’s eyes.
2. Go Rock Climbing or Zip-lining:
For thrill-seeking couples, activities like rock climbing, zip-lining, or rope courses are perfect for getting the blood pumping. As you encourage and spot each other, you’ll feel a surge of excitement and accomplishment. The physical and mental challenges of these activities also create an opportunity for teamwork in overcoming obstacles together.
3. Take a Weekend Trip to Somewhere New
Exploring a new place together, even for just a weekend, can do wonders for your relationship. Visit an area neither of you have been before and create memories while hiking, sampling the local cuisine, or just wandering and getting lost. Stepping out of everyday life and responsibilities allows you to focus on each other. A change of scenery gives you an opportunity to see your partner in a new light.
Trying exhilarating new activities or visiting unfamiliar places gives you a rush of dopamine and brings a sense of novelty that reignites passion and intimacy. Pushing your comfort zones as a couple builds closeness through these shared experiences outside of routine. If you want to awaken the senses and spark playfulness, keeping your relationship exciting for the long run, try stepping out.
4. Revisit Your Roots
Nostalgic dates from early in your relationship, going back to where it all began, can be a fun way to reconnect. Think about places you frequented early on in your relationship-your first date spot, a favorite romantic restaurant, the park where you shared your first kiss. Revisiting those places will stir up fond memories and remind you why you fell for each other in the first place.
Return to where you had your first date, order the same drinks or meals you had that night, if possible. Talk about what you were thinking and feeling during that initial encounter. You’ll be amazed at how vivid those memories still are and gain a new appreciation for how far your relationship has come.
5. Cook a Meal You Often Made Together Early On
If you did a lot of home cooking in the early days of your relationship, pick a favorite meal you used to make together and recreate it. Pour some wine, turn on music you enjoyed back then, and really immerse yourself in the experience. As you cook side by side, reminisce about all the good times you’ve shared in the kitchen. That familiar, homey feeling will remind you why nights together are still so special. Revisiting meaningful places and traditions from the beginning of your relationship is a simple but powerful way to reignite that spark. When life gets busy, it’s easy to forget the little details of your shared history.
6. Make Time for Quality Conversation and Deepen Your Emotional Intimacy
When life gets busy, conversation is often the first thing to go in a relationship. But talking, really talking, is the glue that holds you together. Make time each week to have an uninterrupted conversation with your partner. Turn off your phones and any other distractions. Sit down, make eye contact, and discuss more than just logistics. Share your hopes, dreams, and goals for the next few months or years. What are you both looking forward to? What are your fears or worries? Opening up about what’s on your mind and in your heart can help strengthen your emotional connection.
7. Discuss Your Values and Priorities
Have these changed over the years? Are you still aligned in what really matters to you? Have things changed for both parties, are there some unmet expectations? Understanding each other on a deeper level is key to lasting intimacy.
8. Express Appreciation For Your Partner
Saying “I appreciate you because…” and sharing specific reasons why, can make them feel loved and valued. In turn, this positive interaction will make you feel closer too.
Yes, taking a moment to tell your partner why you appreciate them can be incredibly powerful for your relationship. Here are some ways to extend an “I appreciate you because…” and make it extra meaningful:
- Be specific: Instead of a general “appreciate you,” mention something concrete they did recently. For example, “I appreciate you because you stayed up late helping me finish that project. It meant a lot that you were there for me.”
- Highlight their qualities: Express appreciation for their personality traits. “I appreciate you because you always have such a positive outlook on life. It rubs off on me and makes me feel better too.”
- Show appreciation for their efforts: Notice the little things they do to keep your life running smoothly. “I appreciate you because you always take out the trash without being asked. It’s a small thing, but it makes a big difference.”
- Connect it to how it makes you feel: Let them know how their actions impact you. “I appreciate you because you make me laugh so much. You always know how to cheer me up.”
Remember, the key is to be genuine and express your appreciation from the heart. Even a short, heartfelt message can make your partner’s day.
9. Keep Things Fresh in the Bedroom
To keep the spark alive in long-term relationships, it’s important to mix things up in the bedroom. Doing the same old routine every time can lead to boredom for both parties.
10. Set the Mood
Having the right ambiance sets the mood for passion. Dim the lights, light some candles or use a lamp with a low wattage bulb. Play some slow, sensual music. Sprinkle some rose petals on the bed. Use essential oils with aphrodisiac scents like sandalwood, lavender or jasmine. Taking a warm bath together before heading to the bedroom is a great form of foreplay and helps you relax into the experience.
11. Be Spontaneous
Don’t schedule sex or plan it days in advance. Being spontaneous adds an element of surprise that ignites passion. Send a flirty text during the day to build anticipation, or greet your partner at the door when they come home with a passionate kiss. Whisper in their ear what you want to do to them. Spontaneity and unbridled lust are so sexy.
Conclusion
The routine or predictability of a long relationship shouldn’t dim the spark if you play your cards right. You should note that while reconnecting through deep conversation may feel awkward at first, especially if it’s been a while, stick with it. Making the time to prioritize emotional intimacy and really listen to each other with empathy and without judgment can help bring back the butterflies, one quality conversation at a time. The key is to put in the effort regularly, not just on anniversaries or Valentine’s Day.
With a bit of creativity, vulnerability, and fun, you can bring back that butterfly feeling anytime.
All images are sourced from unsplash.com
The one who spells Afrolady from the larynx of her pen. She’s a high spirited, cultured and ingenuous African child, whose writing drops an unimaginative creative splash on history and carves the indignation and memories of Black women.