9 Tips of What Women Want in a Man: Feminine vs Masculine Men
There’s been a lot of research on finding out what do women want in a man. There’s been a lot of energy put into trying to be the kind of guy the majority of women want. Lol.
Someone somewhere is pumping weights and running laps, someone else is pretending he doesn’t like to watch chick flicks just because it is “uncool” and “feminine”. Gender roles create bias that stop people from being who they want to be. I once knew a guy who loved cooking but couldn’t cook as often as he wanted because it was considered too feminine.
Unfortunately for him, he dated a girl who was terrible at cooking and had to suffer through terrible meals just because he was scared that cooking often would undermine his machoness.
A girlfriend of mine loved sports so much that it was what she wanted to do everyday. When she told her mother she wanted to play football, her old woman was against the idea because she figured sports would make her baby girl masculine and reduce her chances of getting a man.
Women’s taste in men are diverse.
Some women love masculine guys with square jaws, bushy eyebrows big nose and a body to die for. While others love a guy with a nice slim build, soulful eyes and freshly beautiful face who is just ready to make you the center of his attention.
As for me, I like my guy a little bit feminine, the slim build and soulful eyes totally work for me, that’s not to say I don’t like to feel some muscle when I touch my man. I also want a man who will be ready to listen to me and let me be in the spotlight like the attention freak that I am especially if I’m interested in a long term relationship with him and not just a roller coaster affair. Anyway, let’s look at these terms first:
- Effeminacy and
- Masculinity
Effeminacy
According to Wikipedia, effeminacy is the manifestation of traits in a boy or man that are more associated with feminine nature, behavior, mannerisms, style or gender roles than with masculine nature, style or roles.
This definition however does not totally match our idea of a feminine man so I will have to give bullet points to illustrate attractive characteristics of a feminine man. Personally I would call Effeminacy extreme femininity in men but then, no one wants to be called extreme.
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He is Sensitive
Who doesn’t want a sensitive guy? Unlike a majority of masculine men, a feminine man is sensitive enough to relate to your feelings. When you’re feeling down because of a bad hair day, he understands.
When you think you look awful and can’t appear before the world, he doesn’t think you’re being silly because he gets you. He cancels appointments just to spend time with you. When another girl tells you you’re ugly and you’re whining to him, he doesn’t tell you “Come on you shouldn’t be bothered by everything you’re told”. He tells you “Come here”; He makes you remember how pretty you are; He hugs and comforts you.
2. He Makes you Feel Like an Equal
If your man gives off the vibes of oh I’m a man I carry the heavy stuff and you women are condemned to the kitchen then he is not a feminine man. A feminine man respects your opinion in matters, and he never ever watches football when you both should be having a romantic time. He also never thinks his girlfriend should do his laundry or clean the house
3. He is Stylish and Can go Clothes Shopping With You
A feminine man pays attention to your size and style so it is easy for him to pick out clothes for you. If you take your masculine guy with you he might say everything looks good on you even if they don’t. A feminine guy is also stylish and dresses in a way that impresses both you and the general public.
4. He is Conscious of His Appearance
Unlike masculine guys who find joy in going about with their hair uncombed and their beard scruffy. A feminine man grooms himself with tender loving care. His beard is always shaved, his hair is neat and stylish and his nails are either cut short neatly or long and beautiful.
5. If You Want a Secret Kept, He’s Your Go-to guy
You can basically tell a feminine guy anything, he is always ready to listen. Be it your deepest darkest secrets or just how you feel about someone else’s behavior. Your feminine guy would not shut you up or accuse you of being a giant gossip.
6. His friends Know He Loves you Because He Told Them
The masculine ego prevents a lot of men from declaring that they love a woman. That level of sensitivity makes them feel less macho than they think they should be. Your feminine guy has no such problem. He will talk nonstop about you to his friends. To him you’re the love of his life and everyone has to know about it.
7. He Will Watch Chick Flicks With You
Even though he doesn’t enjoy it, a masculine guy will watch all those sappy movies with you. A feminine guy however will enjoy it and get the gist of the whole thing. Imagine been able to discuss all those chick flicks with your boyfriend, Awesome.
Masculinity
According to Wikipedia, masculinity which is also called manhood or manliness is a set of attributes, behaviors and roles associated with boys and men. As a social construct, it is distinct from the definition of the male biological sex. Standards of manliness or masculinity varies across different cultures and historical periods. The character traits that make masculine men such good or bad choices are:
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Domineering
A masculine guy could be really bossy and arrogant. There is this belief that women just can’t be as smart as men. A masculine guy will probably be an adherent to this belief.
He would like to tell you what to do and when to do it. You’ll hear things like “Come over, I miss you“. No ‘please,’ no ‘could you come?’ Or ‘do you want to come?’ No asking for your opinion about where you want to go on a date, he would just take you. A lot of women love this kind of personality, they find it romantic, especially when they are taken on “surprise “ dates. Such masculine guys are also easily dismissive of women.
2. Oh so sexy!
The thing about sexual attraction is that it is purely biological. Sexual attraction plays a major role in who we choose as a partner. Masculine men just exude sexual capability. When a woman looks at a masculine man she sees strong arms that can lift her to ecstasy. Imagine dating a man that makes you drool every morning when you look at him, it will inspire you. The testosterone that makes him so sexy to you also makes him very sexy to other women. It is a popular belief that macho men are less inclined to stay with one woman.
3. He Would Make Your Friends Envy You
Hanging off the arms of a masculine man puts you way up there. The hotter he is, the more jealous your friends will be of you. You can show him off! You can be unnecessarily affectionate with him in public without anyone shaking their heads at you. Are you feminine? You both would look like the perfect couple.
4. Your Mother Would Love Him
Every mother wants to see her daughter with a man she believes can take care of and protect her. It is very likely that your mom will fawn over him when you take him home. She might also congratulate you for making a good catch, you never know.
5. You Will Feel Secure Around Him
We all know that a well muscled chest cannot stop a bullet. Still, having a macho man around makes a woman feel that whatever happens, he will keep her safe. This sense of security is vital to women. A masculine man can also protect you from harassment you might receive from other men because he is strong enough to meet that other man on the same footing and brave enough to fight if need be. This physical strength can be abused. Masculine men are more prone to violence against women.
6. Masculine Guys Love Ladies With Endowment
Masculine guys will love your ass and your boobs. The swell of your hips will turn them on and when they boast to their friends they will boast about the size of your assets. If you’re seeking a masculine guy make sure you have a healthy ass and boobs size.
7. They are Less Affectionate
A masculine guy is more sexual than he is affectionate. His gruff personally will not satisfy a woman who lives on a diet of healthy kissing and cuddling. A masculine guy will hardly ever cuddle with you all day except when you’re ill or in mortal peril.
8. They Have a Gigantic Ego
Masculine guys have ego problems to say it plainly. Telling you he is sorry after an argument might be difficult for a masculine guy because his ego just won’t let him stoop that low for a woman. He’ll prefer buying you flowers or other gifts to kneeling down and apologizing to you.
9. He’d Rather Hang out With his Friends
While dating a masculine guy, you’ll be left at home countless times waiting for him to come back from drinking with his friends. While he is away you will find something boring to occupy yourself with.
Feminine vs Masculine Men: Gender Roles, Culture and Preference
In Africa, where gender roles are more distinct, it is a man’s job to do the heavy lifting and repair stuff around the house while it is a woman’s job to cook, clean and do the laundry. African women are more likely to seek men who can provide them with security, both physical and economical.
However, women in the US, especially successful women would lean more towards feminine men because they are already financially stable and can rely on the cops for physical security, Lol. Feminine men provide them with the emotional companionship they need to feel at ease in their world.
Feminism has blurred the lines separating gender roles. Gender equality opposes overly masculine men and overly feminine women. Women now want to do those things for themselves, things like making their own plans and pursuing their own careers. Unfortunately, all these blurring of gender lines have made masculine men scarce commodities.
It is pleasing to note that different traits are considered masculine in various cultures. This means that what you consider masculine in your culture, might be considered feminine in someone else’s culture.
Physical and Psychological Characteristics of Women and How it Affects Their Preference
Feminine women tend to prefer masculine males because opposites attract and if you’re a feminine woman through and through you just want someone to “cherish and protect“ you. Or just plain tell you what to do and how to do it. A girl who grew up without her father might seek masculine men in a bid to fill the void of not having a father figure. Whereas a girl who grew up having a very close relationship with her father would seek a man who she can have such rapport with. A man who she can talk to and who just gets her like her dad does and a feminine man fits better in this category.
It is difficult to understand the preference of masculine women though. Some of them prefer men who are more masculine than they are while others prefer feminine men who can balance out their more masculine personality.
A woman’s menstrual cycle also influences her choice of men. During her fertile days, a woman gets easily attracted to masculine men who biologically seem to possess better genes for making better babies. On the other hand, a woman in her less fertile days of the month will be more attracted to feminine men who will fare better in caring for their mate. These less fertile days mirror the time of pregnancy when a woman needs a caring and doting partner.
Older women also tend to get attracted to more feminine men because they seek the opposite sex for lasting relationships and not short term flings. Women between the ages of 20-25 tend to be more attracted to masculine men because of their looks and their virility.
The Concept of Male Beauty
With the advent of male beauty products, the concept of male beauty comes into play. Male models used to advertise male beauty products are predominantly athletic and muscular. While women are pressurized by media to be thinner, men are made to believe that the more muscular man is the perfect man.
Manscaping is a term used to describe the removal of body hair (including public hair) through waxing or styling by men. Apart from plucking their eyebrows, men purchase skin care products, lipsticks and other beauty products women use. Men do manicures and go to the spa.
Also, men now care more about how masculine their body looks and aim for the sculpted “V- shaped” and tan look. This idea of making men feel insecure about their bodies is disturbing. You would think that male beauty products would contribute in making a man look more feminine but the reverse is the case.
Male beauty products like glittery skin moisturizer or tanning lotions that should be associated with increased femininity only contribute in making a man look more masculine. Maybe in the near future, feminine men will become the ideal representation of male beauty, just maybe.
Society’s View on Effeminacy
It is popular belief that effeminate men are homosexual men. I must say this opinion is misguided because there are a lot of effeminate men who are straight. Yet people just tend to label effeminate men as gay because they just look so feminine people think they must be trying to attract male attention.
Effeminate men are also seen as both physically and emotionally weak because they tend to have their emotions closer to the surface than masculine men and you might catch them bursting into tears when they hear bad news or crying when they watch an emotional movie. We all know it is okay to cry, but society expects men to hide their feelings or pretend they do not have feelings at all. Feminine hysteria is not at all attractive to women.
The fertility of effeminate men is also called into question, a man who behaves like a woman must either be castrated or impotent right? These beliefs are huge disadvantages to straight effeminate men who find it hard to sustain female interest.
What Do Women Want in a Man: The Main Idea
After all is said and done, let us remember that a woman dreams of a man who loves and cherishes her. Whether he is masculine or feminine what really matters is how much investment he is ready to give his woman. Every woman, whether feminine or masculine, tall or short, thin or fat, desires a man who will sweep her off her feet.
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