Life of an Introvert
From time immemorial, the introverted lifestyle has always been seen as odd, boring and abnormal. Introverts are regarded as people who are somewhat helpless and urgently need to be fixed. Sometimes, people tend to capitalize on the nature of their temperament to exploit them.
Also, it is a generally held belief that introverts deeply desire to be extroverted. However, this is not totally true because even though Introverts would love to come out of their shell once in a while, they are generally comfortable in their default temperament.
From the above postulations, we realise that introversion is mostly observed in the social light alone. This is certainly wrong and unfair to Introverts.
According to Marti Olsen Laney, psychotherapist and author of The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, “introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect – which is what people focus on – is really a small part of being an introvert. It affects everything in your life.” The focus of this article therefore is to examine who an Introvert really is, the myths about them as well as the benefits that come with being an Introvert.
Who is an Introvert?
An Introvert is primarily someone who mostly prefers to be alone and is more active internally than externally. This means that Introverts are at their best when by themselves as opposed to Extroverts who live a gregarious lifestyle. Introverts tend to live in their heads as they engage in frequent mental conversations with themselves.
As keydifferences puts it, an Introvert is a person who remains isolated or enjoys the company of a few close ones. Introverts do not necessarily fancy hanging out with others but when they do, it is always with people who they are quite close to and definitely not for frivolous purposes.
SIGNS OF INTROVERSION
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There are a number of pointers to an introverted lifestyle. Some of them are applicable to all Introverts while others either vary in degree of manifestation or are totally absent in a select few. Want to ascertain your temperament? The following are some symptoms that an introverted person is likely to experience:
1. Feels Lonely in a Crowd
It is said that it is possible to be in a multitude and still feel alone. This is most often the case for Introverts. Since they would ordinarily prefer to be by themselves, it is not uncommon for them to feel weird among a large gathering of humans. It could be compared to a fish taken out of water and placed on the land.
We all know that this would be a horrendous experience for the fish and thus, it would have to struggle for survival. This is how it feels when an Introvert stays among a crowd, especially for too long. So if you find yourself feeling lonely often when in large groups, you just might be an Introvert.
2. Withdrawn and Self-Contained
This is one key pointer to being an Introvert. Introverts are generally reserved and like to keep to themselves. They see human interactions as a strenuous feat and majority of the times, do not make the effort to communicate with others, even with close friends. This is not because they are plain selfish and insensitive.
However, because they always want to have meaningful and deep conversations whenever they interact with others, they would prefer to be in the right disposition to have that talk and most often than not, they are not in the mood. This also applies to virtual conversations. Most introverts are prone to screening their calls and chats, even from close friends.
3. Listens More Than Speaks
Introverts do not only listen before speaking. They also think through whatever utterance they are about to make before making them. This is as opposed to extroverted people who would usually verbalise their thoughts as they come, barely going over them in their heads. As a result, many Introverts tend to pick their words and are likely to drop more punchlines than Extroverts are poised to do.
This explains why many Introverts are considered to be deep by others; not that they possess a special cognition but unlike Extroverts, they listen more and think things through before talking. So if you find yourself either listening more than speaking or going over ideas in your head before mouthing them, or both, you just might be an Introvert.
4. Recharges Energy With Solitude
As observed previously, Introverts prefer alone time to the boisterousness of large gatherings. Therefore, they are easily drained by crowds and would need to spend time alone after being in such an environment, so as to regain mental and psychological equilibrium. They are strongly opposed to Extroverts who in order to attain high performance, need to be among others. Introverts, on their part, are able to function properly after having spent time in solitude.
Hence, they derive joy and satisfaction from spending time alone. So if you find yourself constantly declining invites to parties, even the customary Friday night bashes but would instead prefer to stay locked up in your room all by yourself, chances are that you are introverted.
5. Prefers Writing to Speaking
Since Introverts would normally remain quiet until probed, even when they wish to make a request, it is understandable that they would prefer written communication to its oral counterpart.
For instance, I vividly remember having to write letters to my dad, who I saw everyday by the way, to relay certain thoughts and feelings to him when I was younger. The letters only stopped recently, lol. So if you find yourself writing to your partner often after having a fight with them, there is a probability that you are an Introvert.
6. Possesses Long Attention Span
Countless researches have shown that Introverts tend to concentrate better and have a longer attention span than extroverts. In the same vein, introverted persons are likely to find monotonous activities pleasurable even though others find them boring. This is evident in the fact that these activities require intense focus.
7. Dislikes Change
It has been observed that Introverts do not necessarily feel comfortable with change, compared to their extroverted counterparts. Because they find it difficult to adapt to new people and environments, many Introverts detest any idea of change.
8. In a Relationship With an Extrovert
A popular maxim goes thus, “opposites attract.” This also applies to Introverts and the kind of person they choose to enter into relationships with. An Introvert would ordinarily prefer to have an extroverted partner who would assist them to live a socially balanced life.
9. Prefers Working Solo
Another important thing to note about Introverts is that if given the choice, they would choose to work alone. This does not in any way prove the myth that they dislike human contact. However, it does say a lot about their meticulous nature.
Because Introverts are people who pay attention to details and can easily fit into any monotonous activity, they have little faith in the ability of others to act the same way when paired with them. So they would instead prefer to go solo.
GENERAL MYTHS ABOUT INTROVERSION
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As stated earlier, Introverts tend to get judged based on the social metric alone. Due to this unjust phenomenon, quite a number of myths associated with introversion have come to be widely accepted over time. They are explained below.
1. Introversion is a Mental Disorder
Regardless of the fact that we are now in the twenty-first century and people should know better about the concept, many still regard introversion as an abnormality that is meant to be treated. The situation is quite pathetic as the medical world is not left out of this seemingly ignorant population.
For instance, in 2010, the American Psychiatric Association listed “introverted personality” in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, a manual used to diagnose mental illnesses.
2. Introverted People Wished They Were Extroverts
This is another widely held belief about introverted people. Our culture is fiercely opposed to introversion. This is seen for example in movies where Introverts are called freaks and considered to be boring people. Due to these stereotypes and tags associated with the personality, it is generally assumed that Introverts feel uncomfortable being that way and surreptitiously desire to become extroverted.
Though it is true that Introverts might get affected once in a while by issues connected to their personality, they are generally comfortable being themselves.
3. Introverts are Standoffish
While it is true that Introverts are reserved and are not as sociable as others, it is wrong to conclude that they are unfriendly or distant because of this. Introverts need to recharge as often as possible in order to maintain mental balance. This could either mean withdrawing completely from other people or when not possible, keeping to themselves.
At these points, an introverted person would only be able to engage in meaningful conversations. It would therefore be unfair to tag an Introvert as being rude if they react unpleasantly to an attempt by another to initiate a frivolous conversation.
4. Introverts are Shy
This is a mere generalization. In actuality, not all Introverts are shy. Many entertainers actually identify as introverts. Lady Gaga, Harrison Ford and Emma Watson are some examples. Besides, it is impossible not to have moments of introversion as a creative. Also, Introverts make good public speakers and leaders. In fact, a recent research revealed that over 40 percent of American CEOs are introverts.
Their personality does not limit them in any way from being the best in whatever field they choose to venture into.
5. Introverts Don’t Like People
Introverts are actually better friends than Extroverts, studies have shown. The fewer the better. Introverts keep a close circle of friends and are able to pay keen attention to each of them, one at a time. If you have an Introvert as a friend, chances are that they are loyal and care a lot about you even though it might be shown subtly.
6. Introverts are not Fun People
Nothing is farther from the truth as this assertion. The fact that Introverts do not have fun the way others choose to does not rule them out as boring people. Introverts have their own definition of fun and abide religiously by it. Spending time alone snuggled up in bed on a Friday night, probably seeing a movie or reading a page-turner could be what they see as fun.
This however doesn’t mean that they cannot be found in a park or nightclub on some days. They just cannot stand being in such places for too long.
7. Introverts Like to be Alone All the Time
Even though it is popular knowledge that Introverts are quite reclusive, it is wrong to conclude from this premise that they never like to be in the company of others. As stated previously, Introverts tend to be very close to the friends they keep. There are periods when they need to open up about a particular predicament they are faced with.
At these times, they earnestly desire the company of friends and family in order to verbalise whatever it is which they could have chosen to keep locked up within. It is also important to note that Introverts, once in a while, enjoy being in the company of others to have meaningful conversations.
BENEFITS OF BEING AN INTROVERT
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At this juncture, we would now examine the advantages of an introverted personality. It is necessary to note that these benefits are only generally true of Introversion as individual differences also apply in the Introverts’ world. Just in case you happen to be an Introvert and have been worried about yourself, the following points should help you to begin to see yourself in a new light.
1. Develops the Creative Ability Easily
It has been previously established that introversion is highly needed to engage in any form of creativity. Going by the fact that Introverts possess this prerequisite for creativity innately, it is no gainsaying that they would do wonderfully well in the creative world, as opposed to
Extroverts who would have to learn from scratch. Notable persons who best manifest this quality are Bill Gates, J. K. Rowling and Mark Zuckerbeg. What the aforementioned share in common is that they are persons who have put their introverted personalities to judicious use in the world of creation. So if you are an Introvert, what’s your excuse? *Winks.
2. Respecter of Others’ Space
Introverts are always cautious of their space. This is reflected in their relationship with others as well. Since they pretty much expect to be given as much space as desired, they understand perfectly when others request for same. In fact, they are very careful not to intrude in people’s lives because they would not want such replicated to them in the first place. Talk of the golden rule!
3. Introverts Thrive in Romantic Relationships
An Introvert is usually very sensitive, thanks to their observatory skills. This comes in handy when they enter into relationships, especially romantic ones. They are quick to know when their partner is down and probably needs alone time.
They are also quick to notice the strengths and weaknesses of their partners and offer help as and when due. This is better made manifest when the said partner is an Extrovert because the job becomes easier. One of the keys to a successful relationship is mutual understanding and the Introvert scores high in this regard.
4. They Make Compassionate and Amiable Leaders
As earlier noted, one’s personality is not restricted to the social milieu. It affects everything in one’s life. So since it has been established that Introverts are sensitive, it is not wrong to conclude that they would behave compassionately towards their workers when placed in a leadership position.
Their observatory ability gives them the opportunity to discover the behavioural characteristics of their followers. Hence, they are fully equipped to be the best leader there could ever be.
5. Introverts are Shrewd and Calculative
Another benefit that comes with being an Introvert is that they tend to be quite clever, knowledgeable about necessary matters and are quite cautious in making decisions. Unlike an Extrovert who prefers to go for the jugular without a second thought, Introverts love to take their time before major decisions are made.
They are very analytical and would therefore weigh the pros and cons of a particular phenomenon before going headlong into it. This goes a long way in mitigating unnecessary risk taking.
6. They are Great Listeners
It is well known that Introverts listen more than they speak. They mostly prefer silence over voicing out their ideas and opinions. This is because they do not want to be in the spotlight as eagerly as the average Extrovert does. This amazing listening skill that the Introvert possesses is displayed in the manner in which they speak whenever they do. After having listened to the other party or parties critically (as the case may be) in a meeting, they are now able to state their own opinion or thoughts brilliantly.
7. Introverts Enjoy a Great Degree of Independence
Whether single, married, in a relationship or otherwise, living alone or otherwise, an Introvert is more independent in all ramifications. Since they tend to be in their head more often than not, they rarely run into the risk of striving to live according to the precepts of others. They set their own principles and strive to live up to them.
In conclusion, it is expedient to state that there are actually few Introverts in the world. Most people are simply in the medial spectrum. They possess qualities of introversion and extroversion and shuffle between the two personalities, depending on current circumstances. So it is foolhardy to criticize anyone for being this or that. The world would always need both personalities to thrive.
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