My Pretty Bird
She was not a woman of many sins, maybe that is what made this one so iniquitous, and the punishment so severe. Aimo stared mutely at the man sitting across her as he emphatically explained his decision. When Mide finished his speech no one could miss the sense of finality that filled the air. She sat in the brittle silence, contemplating both murder and suicide, “You can’t be serious,” she said after a moment, her voice sounding as heavy as she felt.
“Can’t you see? This is the only way,” Mide’s facial expression was in slight contrast to his sentiment, the skin scrunched together on his forehead so tight it formed it the letter ‘s’, eyes widened like an armed robber in an old Nollywood film and his mouth squeezed into a duck face pout. Many times before she had told him how his serious face looked like that of a man constipated. His face bordered on ridiculous but she knew him well enough to know he meant everything he said.
Trying but failing to wrap her head around the incredulity of his words, she turned to face the third person in the room. Since their little makeshift meeting began he had avoided making any sort of eye contact with her and she didn’t mind that until now. Right now, she needed to know if he was going along with her husband’s nutty plan. Their eyes locked immediately, his were already on her, “You’re fine with this?” she asked Semi.
“I would do anything to be in my child’s life,” he said. His voice was quiet but there was no mistaking the determination that rang clear in his tone.
She stared helplessly, suddenly feeling like the walls of her homey little dining room were closing in on her. She looked back and forth between the two men, wondering who she would kill first. Then she rose from her chair in a huff and went in search of fresh air. She walked out of the room, through the kitchen and out the back door. Reaching the veranda, she spread her hands on the railings and took in a deep breath.
“Ahh!” she exclaimed shaking her head and clicking her tongue in self-pity, “Mo ti lo ọwọ mi lati pa ara mi,” I have used my hands to kill myself.
Memories of her youth swirled in her head; she was a poster child for discipline growing up. Always got the highest grades, never hassled her parents for much and never got into any personal trouble. She only ever courted two men, one of which she married and patiently waited to lose her virginity to. She was determined to live her life the right way; there was never any room for impudence. All that just to end up here, married to one man and pregnant for another. She looked to the sky, feeling the overwhelming urge to pray but she was curbed by her guilt, God didn’t want to hear from her anymore. Not after what she had done, not after what she represented.
She knew the moment he came out, she could smell him before she heard him. Semi’s scent was not so distinct but she had never known another grown man to smell of flowers. She thought of her grandfather’s garden anytime he was near. She could close her eyes and pick him from a lineup with ease. “Aimo,” the sound of her name from his lips gave her heart a jolt. It meant ‘innocence’ in English, he always said it so gently like he truly believed that she embodied that. She had loved the sweet sound once, now it was just a constant reminder of what she had lost. She didn’t turn around, didn’t acknowledge his presence. “He is giving us a way to be together…” his voice sounded so passive, in total contradiction to the man she had become so familiar with over the past year. The man who she spent many a night curled up with while Mide was away on business. The man that showed her passion she never fully understood, who’d said “Damn the consequences,” and took what he desired. The daring man she grew a sinful attachment to, a connection too tainted to call love.
“Under his roof, while I remain his wife?”
“But we would be together… you, me and the baby,” he countered.
“Don’t forget Mide, my husband, surely you can see how ludicrous this whole thing is?” she said, finally turning to face him.
“It is unconventional, I know…”
“Ohh, this has gone far past unconventional, it is now bordering on madness,”
“What other options do we have, ehn? Tell me? Don’t forget we put ourselves in this situation,”
Ohh she remembered clearly, how could she forget the living being in her stomach giving her monthly reports of its existence. She walked over to him; closing off the space between them as she touched his cheek gently. Her voice was no more than a whisper when she spoke this time, “We can go, he doesn’t have to know anything. We could go to Lagos or leave the country entirely and be together, just the three of us, you, me and the baby far away,” She said, gazing pleading eyes into his.
He looked away first, “I can’t run away with his wife and hurt him like that, he is my best friend,”
She dropped her hand slowly, “It is funny how you did not remember that when you were fucking his wife,”
He stepped back as though her words had burnt him, she had intended them to. His newfound weakness made her furious; it reminded her too much of her own. She turned and walked back into the house; if she could not convince him then she would go back to the heart of the operation.
Mide was in the kitchen when she entered and her heart stopped for a second at the thought that he might have overheard them. But he gave no sign of that. He looked so calm doing something so mundane as washing a cup, it was like he had no troubles in the world. For some reason it made her angry to see him so relaxed, “Why don’t you care?” she asked blatantly, so miffed by his calm she forgot her mission for a moment.
He turned and looked at her with puppy dog eyes filled with understanding, “If I didn’t care I would not be fighting so hard to make you stay,” he answered simply. Everything was always so simple to him.
“Yes but I was having an affair with your best friend, who I am now pregnant for, why aren’t you angry with me? How can you be so accepting of this?”
He let out a sigh and dropped the cup on the counter, “You want me to shout, you want me to yell but how can I when I understand why you did it. You wanted a child and I could not give that to you, I don’t blame you Aimo,”
“But you should, I didn’t do it for a child. Mide I didn’t even know you were sterile before the affair and neither did Semi. How could we?” And she would have never known had he not gotten drunk and let it slip to Semi a month ago, a day after she announced to her family and friends that she was expecting. Semi was left without a doubt that the child was his and he made Aimo aware of that too.
“You made a mistake,” Mide said with a shrug.
“Stop making excuses for me!” She yelled at him, “What I did was wrong, it was immoral. I can admit that, so why can’t you?”
“I never said you were not wrong, you were very wrong and I forgive you. I just want us to move past this and carry on with our lives,”
“How? With your best friend and our love child playing house with us? How can you be fine with that? How could you even suggest it? What will we tell people?”
“That he is just helping us out, if I confirm that then no one will question it?”
“Olorun Oba, I can’t do this,”
“I am only trying to keep you happy and keep my family together,”
“I cannot be happy, Mide, just uncomfortable and confused. And I can’t do it. I will not do it,”
“You will not leave!” he yelled suddenly, banging his hand loudly on the sink, breaking out of his usual composure.
Aimo was so shocked she jumped back, she had never seen Mide express such anger towards her, towards anyone. He looked shocked by it as well and quickly reined it in regaining his calm. “Don’t worry, I am doing what’s best for us,”
His tone was one of finality but she was filled with too much desperation to give in, “I don’t want this Mide, I don’t think you do either,”
“What I want is you.”
“What if I say I don’t want you?” she asked, shocking herself.
Mide got a look in his eyes she had never seen before, and she couldn’t quite discern it, it was like they glazed over. He wasn’t looking at her anymore but through her, it seemed, “Be that as it may, we will stay together just as a married couple is supposed to,” He said his voice void of emotion, “You cannot leave,”
“You don’t have that right over me,”
His gentle face turned ugly, it was a mixture of his serious face and what seemed like disgust. “And where do you think you will go? Ehn, tell me. Is it with Semi? Runaway to Lagos or leave the country, abi?”
She didn’t give an answer
“You underestimate my pull on Semi’s conscience, there are things you will never understand about our relationship. And as long as I am here and alive he will never take you away from me,” Then he let out a bitter laugh.
Who was this man, she wondered, who spoke these malice filled words? He spoke of her with such ownership it made her afraid. Mide, her sweet husband who never got angry with her, gave her everything a housewife could ever want. The sickly picture of the perfect man, whose love she grew tired of. The meaning of perfect in her head was blurring. Now looking at him, her husband, she felt a chill go down her spine that maybe she might not know him at all.
“And you…” he said pointing a finger at her face “Let’s stop pretending now ehn?” he began to walk to her “Let’s stop pretending that you have a choice in this matter when we both know you’re not going anywhere,” he backed her up against the fridge behind, barely leaving any room to breathe. “You are too weak to leave me, you always have been. You will stay and do as you’re told, that is what you are best at,”
She was frozen, the words vibrated in her ears and the truth in them pierced her soul. She was a coward, had been since she was a child. Afraid of change, afraid to rebel, afraid to be flawed. But it was a wonder how a woman so gutless could do something so dastardly as having an affair. There was some spine in that, there had to be.
His face turned calm again, “Aimo I want you to be happy, I want you to keep everything I have provided for you and I want you to have more. I want you to be safe with me.”
“Please,” she said weakly.
“I want you to be happy,” Was all he said and he left her in the kitchen.
Mide walked outside and stood beside Semi on the veranda. His oldest friend was leaning on the rails, head hung in defeat. He felt the full satisfaction in knowing that he had them both beat. He would have left Semi to wallow in his self-pity but he needed to suss out some details with the man first. He cleared his throat first before saying, “I hope nothing has changed in our agreement?”
Semi didn’t look at him when replied, “I told her what I was supposed to, so don’t worry,”
“Good, but I am asking about the baby,”
He sighed, “Of course,”
“Good,”
“You know she will never forgive you for this. She has wanted to be a mother for so long, how can you just take it away from her?”
“I will not share her, not with anyone!” Mide’s inability to bear children came to be a blessing after he married Aimo, his Aimo, now he would never have to share her with anyone. When the baby was born Semi had agreed to take it away, they would be alone again soon, just the way it should be.
“Why?”
“She is all I have ever wanted…”
He watched the sun setting, the orange light disappearing behind the town water tank. A bird flew across the picture, its colourful wings highlighted by the fading light. A pretty bird, he mused, a representation of the satisfaction he felt.
Mide heard the steps coming up behind him but he was too distracted to decipher what they meant. The first jab was so painful he cried out, but he didn’t feel the ones that came next. He didn’t know how many times his skin was pierced because he went numb. His body went limp and as he began to fall, he looked up to his bird but it was gone. His sight dimming, he turned to see his assailant. When Aimo’s face filled his vision he knew he must have conjured her. His sweet innocent girl, here to help him face the pending darkness, and so with a smile he let himself fade away.
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