Letting Go
In this life, you always have to be careful. Maybe too careful. Anna sparkle thought to herself as she stepped out of the big building dragging a huge carton that contained her ‘office properties’ before her sudden termination today. As she walked dejectedly towards the car park, she couldn’t help but wonder what was the need to go on? Where was the gain in living after all? Where was the cliche optimism that was supposed to stay lurking around? Why isn’t the grass greener on the other side even after spending a budding effort of two years watering its roots. Why were the leaves withering and decaying even further?
A tear slid down her left eye as she spotted the brown envelope lying crumbled on her carton. She’d crumbled the paper with fury after Mr. Tunde the General manager had handed it to her. In his words ‘regrettably’. Of course, he was not sorry, nor did he regret his sudden decision to dismiss her from her position as top sales strategist to low ranking marketing correspondent. It was not fucking fair. Nothing felt fair anymore.
“I’m afraid we’re gonna have you removed from your position Anna.
This should have been a termination letter, but recognizing your defined commitment and far-reaching skill set to the company before the devastating incident last year, We’re reconsidering and going to give you another chance at the marketing department. We expect you to take it. It’s a kind gesture, Anna.”
“It’s a kind gesture, Anna” she mimicked to herself.
Talk about devastatingly going from rock to a hard place. She had no choice. Take the poor offer, or resign. At this rate, she only got demoted because of pity. These days, everyone seemed to pity her while making reference to the event of last year. The day it all began. The event that altered the course of her life. Who would have thought that the great Anna Sparkle, the top performer of the year, and one of the best minds at Adelle Inc. would fall from grace so suddenly? If this was a bad dream, she was living in it too long.
As she spotted her red car in the driveway, she reflected on her surroundings. Today, there were no birds chirping in the blue sky, and the wind that played with her hair seemed to have gone into hiding too. The air was grey, dull, and felt like sadness. Just like that day. like the day everything beautiful and colorful had turned grey and black. The day Henry had died. The day he’d left the world, he’d taken a huge part of her with him. A part of her to be lost forever.
As she dumped what was left of her straggly pride into the car Booth, she quickly brushed off a tear from her left eyes. She couldn’t stand all of the many darts that life seemed to be throwing her way at once. As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, Anna couldn’t help but admit that she looked like something from the walking dead movie. Her hair looked messy flying around her shoulders in an uncanny way, and her eyes were sunken and pitiful. She hated the way she looked, worst of all, she hated the way she felt, but it couldn’t be helped. How could the body look graceful, when the soul was broken, and shredded into irreparable pieces?
As she continued to stare at her reflection in the glass, she immediately saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Andrew Torrance approaching her stealthily.
“Oh, God!! Not again. What’s he doing here?” She muttered loudly to herself.
Anna gulped. She was not prepared for Andrew, neither was she willing to accommodate any of his self-entitled shenanigans.
As Anna quickly got into the car, Andrew drew closer, striding like a man bearing a heavy mission on his broad shoulders. she quickly shut the door frantically, hoping he’d get the message and go away, she noticed the early smile on his face, as he reached her car almost immediately.
“Hello! Hello Anna! Were you just trying to ignore me?” He asked, flashing his perfect set of dentition. Those same teeth that could send any girl’s heart racing. But not hers, she knew him better. He was everything else but prince charming; a deceptive and gruesome human.
“I only ignore what I see. I didn’t see you coming, Andrew,” she replied curtly.
This was all Mama’s fault Anna thought to herself. If Anna had paid no attention to her mother’s words, she’d not be in this situation with him. There was a time when she adored everything about him. He was breathtakingly beautiful, and she’d jumped with excitement when he’d picked her to be his girlfriend on campus. She’d been more than willing to jump on the offer, and together they’d been the life of the party. The seemingly beautiful couple that everyone on campus had admired. They had complimented each other perfectly.
He, a bronzed, tall, and stunningly handsome young man – the ladies man; the one all the ladies on campus wanted. She, on the other hand, was beautiful, audacious, and the spark of fire that complimented the bronze god. She was a wildfire beauty, and dare says anybody would have desired to be with her. But she’d chosen Andrew, after all, they looked too good together like the kind of couple you’d find featured on the cover of Essence magazine. they’d been Prince charming and Cinderella strutting the campus like they owned the place.
Although at the time, she’d thought what she had with Andrew was love, after all, she got validation from the magazine features and several publications around campus with tags like “perfect love in fairyland” “prince charming and desire” and several other lousy and clown-like adjectives. Together they’d walk into a room, and watch heads swerve in their direction. Some in envy, some out of spite, some others pulsing and salivating to take their place. Their relationship had been Show-business, and the public, their eager audience.
When there was no audience, their relationship was empty, boring, and stifling. Love was not empty, love was reviving, filling, and refreshing every morning. She did not know all this until she met henry. He’d taught her what true love really meant.
Love was everything but the charade of receiving validation from third parties. Love was about what two people thought of themselves, and not what the world thought of two people.
She never thought there was something wrong with their relationship until Andrew started showing signs of being abusive, he started getting particularly picky with what she ought to wear, and what she ought to be seen doing in order to make them look good together. The camel’s back broke when he hit her over a stupid argument. He slammed her head against the wall in anger and left her bleeding in their apartment building. That day she shut him out and promised never to return.
And their relationship had ended for the better, a blessing in disguise. Two years later, she met Henry who although had not been exactly her type, had turned out to be every bit the man that Andrew could never be.
Henry had taught her what love should be. What love really should look like. How love could be something as tiny as a casual smile, or something as huge as a person. Henry was love, and her heart yearned for him every minute.
One year after Henry’s untimely demise, she’d run into Andrew again at the local bookstore. They’d bumped into each other, and he’d been elated to find that she was not with anyone else. He’d offered to drop her off at her mom’s place. Andrew, charming as usual, had warmed his way through her mom’s heart at first sight. His intentions were clear; he wanted her again, and her mom, tired of seeing her daughter mourning over a dead man jumped at the idea. He even suggested a date in his words “to catch up as old friends”.
“Anna you have to go out with Andrew. He’s such a gentleman. Her mother had insisted.”
“Mom, he’s everything but a gentleman, don’t be deceived. Anna had retorted back. Besides I don’t even have a dress she replied trying to find a suitable excuse.”
“Don’t worry Anna, I’ve provided a dress already. It’s in my room upstairs. It’s a beautiful red dress, you’d love it.”
Adanma, her mom called at her. It’s about time you let the dead rest. Henry’s been gone for over a year now. I’m sure he wants you to move on too.”
Anna had stared at her mom carefully. Whenever her mom called her with her Igbo name, she knew that the matter was extremely delicate. She’d moved in with her mother after Henry’s death. And her mom was her superhero. The only one she had left on earth. Especially as her dad had died when she was very young.
She finally agreed to the date, just to please her mom, and had immediately regretted the experience. Andrew had not changed one single bit over the years. He was still the same egoistic, anger prone, and self-absorbed human that she remembered from college. He’d spent the date dinner bragging about his insipid achievements over the years, what a bore he had been.
And now, here he was, still trying to stalk her at her workplace!
“What are you doing here Andrew?” She scoffed.
“Oh! He replied caught off guard immediately. I… I was just passing by Adelle Inc, and hoped to stop in to say hi.”
Of course, classic Andrew! Anna thought to herself. The only way he knew to make a connection with someone was to make a public move. Get people talking and draw strength from their attention.
“You shouldn’t be here Anna stated boldly” staring into his beautiful face. “That dinner was a mistake..it was all mom’s idea.”
Andrew gazed with the attention of a predator on his marked prey.
“I love you Anna, and I know you realize you love me too,” he said in a hushed tone.” Please accept my love. Say something.”
There he was again. Proud and imposing his thoughts on her. Andrew was toxic, and she was not going to let him get her a second time. She’d grown past the foolish college girl. She was a woman that knew what she wanted, and it was definitely not Andrew
Anna softened her gaze and stated directly at him. “I don’t need you in my life anymore Andrew. There’s nothing that can exist between us again.”
“No Anna, maybe you need time…especially since you’re still grieving over that guy’s death” he answered dismissively.
“That guy, like you called it, has a name, his name was Henry. And I loved him very much.” Anna yelled as tears began to form in her eyes again. She was clearly upset. How dare he address Henry like he was something irrelevant.
Anna studied Andrew’s hair and clenched her fist. Eventually, she took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” began Anna in apologetic tones, “but I don’t feel the same way, and I never will. I just don’t love you, Andrew.”
“We can never be together. Even if you were the last man on earth.” She yelled at him.
Anna watched Andrew’s face change from doubt and pity into pure unrefined anger. His lips trembled, His emotions raw like a knobbly knife.
Anna buckled her seat belt finally and started the engines.
As the engine roared to life, she hears him bang his feet against her vehicle and yell out
“You’d regret this decision, Anna!”
Anna knew Andrew meant every word he’d just spoken. He was prone to violence every time especially if he felt his pride felt cheated. Shed bruised his ego, and she couldn’t care less.
She couldn’t focus on him now, she just needed to get home to her mom. Everything was too overwhelming to take in at once.
As she sped out of the driveway she remembered the day she’d gotten the call that had altered the course of her life forever. Henry, her fiance had been involved in a ghastly accident two days to their scheduled wedding. The truck driver had been drunk driving and had crashed into Henry’s car on the highway. The impact had been devastating, and they’d both lost their lives on the spot. It’s been a year and six months since the debilitating event, and Anna had not gotten over Henry’s death. She never thought she could. Not now, not ever.
As she neared the house, she couldn’t help but admire her mom’s house. Small, homely, and beautiful. Just like the one she’d hoped to build with henry.
As she studied the house from the car, she noticed that the front door was open. Her mom would never leave the door open. That was strange she thought to herself.
She quickly dabbed a few bits of makeup here and there around her eye area. Mama should never find out that she has been crying again. She didn’t need the extra drama.
As she entered and shoved the door open, she was welcomed with the smell of deliciously baked cookies, – her favorite. Leave it to mama to always try to cheer her up every time. She loved her so much, she couldn’t imagine what her life would be like without her.
“Mom, she called.why’s the front door open.?. I’m back from the office.”
No response. Silence.
Maybe she was upstairs Anna thought to herself.
“Mom, those cookies smell yummy!”
“Mom?”
“Are you upstairs?” she called out.
This was weird. Why would mom leave the front door open, and go upstairs?
Smoke, she smelt smoke.
Anna quickly hurried towards the kitchen and noticed the cookies were burning up from too much heat.
How come mama was so clumsy today she thought to herself as she attempted to turn out the surging flame with an extinguisher.
As the flame died out. She stumbled on something solid.
It was a leg she noticed. Her mom’s leg?
Anna’s scream filled the room as she saw her mom sprawled on the floor with a slit throat. She took the kitchen into view and noticed that there had been a struggle.
The kitchen looked messy with broken plates littered on the floor. Her mom’s blood splattered on the wooden floor.
Mom! She yelled as she quickly reached for her hands. Checking for a pulse.
Nothing. Silence. No beat. Dead?
Anna tried again…
Silence. Silence. Dead.
Anna sank to the floor in tears as she blindly dialed 911
She heard vaguely as the call respondent droned on
What’s your emergency??
“He…lp!” Anna stammered incoherently as she choked on those words.
“Pardon? This is 911. What’s your emergency?”
Just then, Anna’s eyes drew faintly on a red scribbling on the wall.
She quickly brushed aside her tears, as she noticed that it was painted in bold bloody red letters.
Her mother’s blood.
“YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF”
“Hello??!” the call respondent called irittattibly.”
“Are you there? What’s your emergency?”
Anna, suddenly realizing and wanting to wake up from this terrible nightmare quickly responded in tears.
Hi…MY NAME IS ANNA, AND I THINK MY EX JUST MURDERED MY MOM”.
All images are sourced from pixabay.com, free for commercial use and no attribution required
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