I Lied: I Said I’ll Never Leave Him

The car idles noiselessly on the sand, as a ladybug crawls lazily under the bonnet.

The young couple kiss languidly against their warm skin, on the bonnet of the car. They stay there smooching for so long that when the phone rings, they are startled away from each other. They both turn to face the phone on the car and we see their names written on the backs of their T-shirts: On Dupe’s shirt is written ‘His Queen’, and on Ęben’s, ‘Her King’.

Eben picks up the phone, sees the number calling and switches it off. He throws it on the car seat and tries to draw Dupe closer but she slaps his hands away; the intense atmosphere has already been watered down.

“Let’s go home” Dupe says, picking up the beach cloth from the sand.

“Fine” Eben says resignedly. He picks up his sunglasses and other small stuff they had placed on top of the car. While his back is turned, Dupe briefly stares at him intently then she returns to folding up the beach cloth and putting it in the picnic basket.

“It’s going to rain” Dupe says staring out the window. As they approach the intersection she glances at Eben, who is looking so sexy on the steering wheel. “Weather for two huh?” she says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He smiles back at her, saying nothing. Dupe is not discouraged by his reaction. Her Eben has never been much of a talker so she imagines how they could heat up his small apartment in this weather. Then the phone rings and this time, it is Dupe’s phone.

“hello”

“what!?”

“Stay right where you are Seyi. I’m on my way”

Dupe gets off the phone and looks pleadingly at Eben who rolls his eyes and changes course. By now he is so used to, and so fed up of Dupe’s friend Seyi, who always needs one favor or the other. All these giant favors eating into his and Dupe’s romantic time. What annoyed him most was how easily and willingly Dupe gave up at that time. As if she didn’t mind not spending time with him, as if Seyi was better company.

His car pulls up beside the young woman’s car, her small hand waves at them from the driver’s seat. ​What was she waiting for? ​ Eben thought. ​Did she expect him to enter the pouring rain to get her? Or did she expect him to allow Dupe do such a stupid thing? He reaches over Dupe and motions to her angrily until he sees her car door open.

“Sorry guys! I’m so sorry” Seyi says as she flopped into the back seat. Eben curses under his breath at the mess she is making. He watches as Dupe reached out for her hands and began to rub them warm. Giving Seyi one last disgusted look, he turns his attention to the road and misses the highly amused faces of the ladies.

When they reach Seyi’s house Dupe gives him a swift kiss and runs out of the car, she has to make sure her friend is all nice and warm before she would send for him to come pick her up. Eben is still watching Dupe’s ass swinging nicely as she runs when Seyi pokes her head through the car window

“I’m sorry. I…” Seyi stammers

“Forget it.” Eben says, tersely raising up a hand. Then he rolls up his windows and drives away as fast as he can.

“What’s up with lover boy?” Seyi asks as she towels herself dry. Dupe who had been toweling her hair looks up at her.

“Oh, I had promised him sex before you called” she says with a smile. Seyi bursts into laughter and Dupe smiles, they share a meaningful look.

***

Dupe laid down the ground rules that would help her run the mission smoothly:

• Don’t be seen before time
• Act cool
• Have a conversation with her
• Walk away like a nice lady

She watched her cross the road; the girl was wearing a short red dress and a short black kimono that billowed in the breeze, she was passably pretty with those large eyes and very red lips. Dupe nodded when she saw what she was looking for, the ass was just as she had seen it unclad, the legs looked smooth even from the distance.

When the young woman entered the supermarket Dupe followed after her. The place smelled nice, calming her nerves as she swiftly picked up a basket and followed the black kimono. Both women browsed through the perfume and body spray section before going to the foodstuff session. Dupe bought a large loaf of bread, a chocolate drink, and was placing a jar of peanut butter in her basket when the young woman turned the corner and they were face to face.

“Hey!” Dupe called her quickly. “I want to get a kilo of chicken but I don’t know where they keep that”. The young woman gave her an irritated look ​before she motioned for Dupe to follow her.

“Here” she said, pointing to the deep freezers in front of them. Dupe bought her chicken and went home.

Dupe arrives home to meets Eben making lunch. His hands are coated with cassava flour and he is shirtless with just an apron around his waist and his boxer shorts. Dupe pauses at the door absorbing this beautiful moment, keeping the picture in memory, close enough to surface so she could retrieve it whenever she wanted to.

Then he puts on music, Maroon 5 “Girls like you”, dancing around the kitchen as he cooked. Dupe knew he knew she was watching him and was putting up the show for her so she joined in, moving her body to the beat of her love for him.

“Hey little lady” Dupe coos as she sits beside Seyi who pointedly ignores her. Dupe knew she had done the unforgivable and was surely going to pay for it. To appease the goddess, she brings out a carton of cupcakes and a box of chocolates but Seyi doesn’t even look at her.

“Seyi, I’m sorry “she says turning serious “I didn’t mean to forget, I was so busy yesterday” Seyi gets up and walks away. Shocked, Dupe follows after her.

“Seyi what is it? I’ve never forgotten your birthdays before! I said I’m sorry!” She pleads.

“Sorry for yourself! I’m sure you spent all day with lover boy and totally forgot about me!” Seyi shoots back

“No! That’s not it at all!” Dupe replies. “Will you just let me tell you what happened?” At Seyi’s nod she hugs the smaller woman from behind and whispers into her ear. Throughout the conversation Seyi’s face transforms with varying degrees of shock. It must have been a very juicy bit of gossip because it placates Seyi enough for her to shove the cupcakes and chocolates at Dupe as if the other needed it more.

They spent the rest of their day at the spa discussing, as they both had a manicure and a pedicure all sponsored by the birthday girl.

“We are a strange bunch, aren’t we?” Dupe asks Seyi, looking up from her magazine.

Seyi turns to her “How are we strange?”

Dupe looks at her as if that’s a very daft question “how are we not? Look at us 23 year olds who have little (she points to herself) or no (she points to Seyi) plans of getting married anytime soon.

Seyi laughs at that “​Las Las if we no si husband we go marry awa-sef​” They both burst into laughter.

“Speaking of marriage” Seyi continues “​how far Eben? ​ What exactly is he waiting for?”

“I wonder” Dupe says, “doesn’t he know these fingers would be prettier with a ring on them?” She flaunts her newly manicured fingers, laughing along with Seyi.

“I could get him to marry me though, my mother once told me: a man is never truly yours until you marry him.” Dupe says thoughtfully.

“Is that wise? Given the situation” Seyi asks, looking worried.

“What can I do? I have to take what I can get” Dupe replies.

They fall silent, Seyi thinks about the danger of making rash decisions. In her opinion, her friend Dupe is way too hung up on that young man. Seyi wonders how far Dupe would go to accommodate Eben’s bad behavior. She remembers one time when she felt like dragging Dupe from that toxic relationship by the scruff of her neck two years ago. The memory was as fresh as if it happened yesterday. She had gotten home and met Dupe weeping on her couch.

“What is it?” A younger Seyi asks a younger Dupe who looks up at her. She is a pitiful sight, her mascara running down her cheeks and snot running down her nose.

“He broke up with me!” She cries, taking huge gulps of air. Seyi guesses that her nostrils are blocked. She wonders how long the foolish girl had been weeping.

“Why did he do such a thing?” Seyi asks calmly defying her insides which are urging her to shout ​So what!? So what!?

“I don’t know” Dupe says breaking down in tears. Seyi sits beside her and consoles her. What she was not expecting was for Dupe to return three days later all smiles, saying that she had gotten back with Eben because he had explained and told her what made him take that rash decision.

According to him he had been scared of her leaving him for another guy and in his panic had almost made the costliest mistake of his life. All he wanted from her now was reassurance that she would never leave him. Dupe, soft hearted girl that she was, eagerly made that obnoxious promise. Seyi was sorely disappointed in her.

Dupe thinks about Eben and their four-year relationship. She marvels at how Eben always finds ways to make her fall in love with him again and again during her moments of doubt. It was as if he could smell it when she was doubting the purpose of their relationship. Last week Tuesday when she had been thinking of the best and most stress free way to let him go, he had bought flowers for her and delivered them himself.

Standing there looking so handsome, Eben had embarrassed her in front of her colleagues. Dupe blushes as she remembers the sweet torture, she quickly covers her face with a magazine so Seyi wouldn’t see her blushing and scold her for thinking about Eben who she called an “irresponsible, self-absorbed young man” as if Seyi herself was 50 years old.

***

All week long Dupe had been throwing hints that even a total moron would catch. The video of her friend in Ibadan proposing to his girlfriend, wedding pictures, Bruno Mars’ “Marry You” ​on replay. Eben’s mind had been successfully conditioned to think on the issue of marriage.

This conditioning came with an unspoken condition: Marry me or lose me.

When she gets to his house on Friday and sees the note on his table that read: Meet me at your house, with a smudged pink heart beneath it, Dupe’s instinct told her today was the D-day. She did a little tap dance, wiggling her hips from side to side before bursting into loud laughter. After laughing to her satisfaction she picks up the note again, looks at it fondly and kisses the smudged heart creating two smudged pink hearts interlocking on the paper.

Soft music welcomes her, her apartment is dark except for the candlelight shining in the distance. Dupe locks the door behind her, dropping her bag carelessly on the floor. The music leads her by the hand to the heart of her apartment – her bedroom. Her bed has been pushed to the side and a table and two chairs stands where it had been.

Eben rises as she comes in and waits for her to sit down before he sits. They have a dinner of fried chicken and red wine. While Dupe cleans her mouth, pleased that Eben remembered to include her favorite meal, he pushes his chair back and kneels before her.

“My love, my queen, my life”. The ring glitters in its velvet box. Eben places his hand on her chair, his fingers lightly grazing hers “For many years I searched the whole world for someone like you, the yin to my yang. Someone who gets me completely; a loyal someone, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen and above all the love of my entire life. I called you here today to ask you a question that could change our lives and I beg you to let your heart do the answering. Dupe Adediran, would you marry me?”

Tears fall freely from Dupe’s eyes, despite the fact that she masterminded the whole thing, she is overwhelmed. She quickly says “YES!” and Eben’s face breaks into smiles as he snatches the ring from the box and wears it on her finger. The lights come on and Dupe hears applause behind her, Eben had invited her family and friends. She hugs her Fiancé briefly and runs into her mother’s waiting arms.

***

Three weeks later

Dupe is reclining on her sofa and remembering the event that happened some hours ago. She had walked into Eben’s apartment unannounced as she had begun to do since their engagement, only to hear moans from the bedroom. Dupe stood rooted to the spot listening, hoping the sounds would end but they only got louder. Slowly she picked her way through the living room and stood at the door watching.

Again she saw that ass bouncing, again those smooth legs were being flaunted in her face. Dupe knew it was the supermarket girl before the whore turned, saw her and jumped off the cheat. She felt like slapping her across the face but restrained herself to just watching the little weasel scurry out the house with her head bowed in shame. Eben walked towards her pleading, one hand stretched out before him. He knelt before her from a safe distance as if he knew she hungered to displace him with a swift kick.

As he begged, she went around his apartment, picking up her stuff and packing them into a nylon bag. His pleas were like white noise in her ear, Dupe knew the difference between a pot-hole and a dead end and she wasn’t taking any chances. When she was done packing her stuff she took out something from her purse and threw it at him. It was a lewd picture of the girl from the supermarket, she had transferred it from his phone to hers before printing it as evidence. More importantly it was a statement, Dupe saying ​beg no more, I know what you are ​or​ I knew about it all along.

It was easier for Dupe to leave him than she had thought it would be. There is some good in planning a break up for two months after all. She drops her things in her apartment and drives to the beach, calling Seyi on the way.

Back from the beach, these young ladies sit relaxing in front of the TV. The bottle of Baileys on a stool between them gradually empties itself into their bellies. They watch TV in silence for a while before Seyi loses the internal fight.

“God! Dupe you have to tell me what happened. I’m dying here!” She holds her chest dramatically.

“I ended it with Eben” Dupe drops says.

“What!! Are you serious?! What made you do it?” Seyi asks. Her mouth hanging ajar.

“I caught him in bed with her” Dupe replies.

“OMG! I can’t believe it! The pig! Wait. What happened to your promise?” Seyi asks

“What promise?” Dupe asks scrunching her face in mock confusion.

“You promised you’ll never leave him girl! What happened to that?” Seyi asks but she already knows the answer.

Dupe turns to her friend, a wicked smile playing on her lips and says “I lied.” Seyi whoops in delight.

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