I Hate My Boyfriend’s Mom
Jennifer had always believed that a little love, a little laughter, and a little stubbornness could get her through almost anything. She was about to discover that meeting the family of the man she loved would test all three.
She had imagined Jeremy’s family welcoming her with warm smiles and curious questions. She had even bought a dress for the occasion, convinced that if she made a good first impression, his mother would eventually love her too. What Jennifer hadn’t prepared for was the possibility that the person whose approval she wanted most might be the very person determined to make her feel unwelcome.
She was twisted around the banister like a snake. Her waist was a little stiff, yes, but in Jeremy’s eyes, her backside more than made up for it. He watched her closely as she suspended herself precariously in the air. Jeremy sat at the edge of his chair so he could reach out and catch her should calamity fall. He didn’t know what had made her decide she wanted to act like a stripper tonight but he knew he would find out.
“I read an article today,” Jennifer said as he gently massaged her aching calves.
“Another one?” he asked smiling and thinking that if his girlfriend paid as much attention to her books as she did to articles, she would be at the top of her class.
“Yes. I read that more than 70% of men have visited a strip club once in their life. Isn’t that terrible?” she asked him. Jeremy grunted knowing he shouldn’t interrupt her.
“Know one fun fact? Men who do this evil thing have wives and girlfriends who love them just as jealously as I love you,” she cooed.
“I love you too, baby,” Jeremy said passionately. He palmed her butt and she giggled.
“What do you have to say about it, baby?”
“All I have to say is this: when a man has you, he doesn’t need a stripper,” Jeremy said, turning her around.
“That’s not a very intelligent response,” she said, giggling. He pressed his lips to hers. He knew enough about women to understand that sometimes, a kiss was the quickest way to interrupt them.
“Let’s go to bed, baby. We have an early day tomorrow,” he said, kissing her neck.
“Carry me?” she asked, making the childish pout that never failed to charm him.
“You don’t have to ask,” he replied.
“I played stripper for Jeremy last night,” Jennifer announced as soon as she caught up with her friend Delia.
“Uhhh, lucky guy!” Delia said, and Jennifer giggled. “Since when do you play stripper though?”
“Since I read an article that opened my eyes to the truth: strippers steal so many of our men away,” Jennifer said.
“Oh, another article,” Delia murmured.
“Yes. I don’t know. How can I love to read so much without being able to write? Is that normal?” Jennifer asked as they entered the hallway leading to their class.
“You’re not a regular girl, don’t you know that?” Delia asked. Jennifer pushed her friend’s arm playfully but she looked pleased, which might have been the main reason for the comment in the first place.
“That’s not a real answer,” she said, smiling. Her friend wasn’t listening to her anymore. A tall, dark man with gold dreadlocks was passing by with his friends.
“What did you say?” Delia asked when the guy had passed and she had regained her senses.
“Nate,” Jennifer said with a sigh. “You know we’re in our third year, right? Only one year to go. When are you going to man up and tell the guy you’ve lost your head over him?” she asked.
“I can’t do that. You know very well that I’m a traditional Black woman. My proud heritage won’t let me,” Delia said, holding her head high.
“Don’t kid yourself. You’re not a traditional Black woman; you’re an idiot,” Jennifer said, and she pushed open the door to their class.
“I think you are cute,” Jeremy said as he stared at the ceiling. They were lying tiredly in bed after spending hours swimming in the lake a few miles from school. “I’m sure that’s what Mom will love about you.”
“She might, or she might not. Why do you think I’m cute?” Jennifer asked, turning to him so she could watch his face as he answered.
“The things you do. You’re extraordinary!” Jeremy said with a laugh.
“Aww. Wait, what do you mean by extraordinary?’’ she asked.
“You remember that time you insisted I take you to Disney World and you chose to wear that small little girl’s dress that was so scandalously short?” Jeremy asked.
Jennifer laughed out loud. “Yes, I remember.”
“My God. You scared a lot of little boys that day,” he said.
“It was good scaring!” Jennifer exclaimed, leaping on top of him.
“You’re choking me, Woman!” Jeremy protested.
“I want to scare you too,” Jennifer said.
“You know the right way to do it!” Jeremy shouted, his voice muffled by the pillow she was pressing down into his face. Jennifer giggled and let him go.
“You watch your mouth, old man,” she said. They lay there laughing for a moment.
“I love you, Jenny,” Jeremy said, gathering her into his arms. “I want you to come with me to my family get-together this weekend so you can meet everyone.”
“Don’t we have classes next Monday?” Jennifer asked and regretted it the minute it left her mouth.
“Yes, but we’ve missed classes for less serious things. What do you say? I want everyone to meet you. Especially my mom,” Jeremy said. Jennifer was silent for so long, he was almost sure she was about to say no.
“OMG! I need to go shopping. My trampy clothes won’t do,” she said covering her blushing face with her hands. Jeremy laughed and kissed her knuckles.
The house was huge and gray with flowers and small trees on both sides of the driveway. Jeremy drove his small Mustang and parked it right in front of the house. They sat there, staring at the house for a few minutes.
“You ready?” Jeremy asked. Jennifer looked at him, and he wiped the perspiration from her forehead with his finger.
“At this rate, I will never be ready, so let’s just go inside,” she said. Jeremy smiled and squeezed her hand.
When they pushed open the door, it was like entering a whole new world. There was gold everywhere, all the pillars and even the furniture had gold edges and they glittered. The house was noisy and full of people milling around, laughing, playing card games and watching a football match on the huge TV screen.
“Jeremy brought his girlfriend,” one of the middle-aged men watching TV cried in a singsong voice as they entered. Everyone turned to stare at the young man and woman standing just inside the door. Jennifer was expecting Jeremy to greet them so she was already taking a step into the living room when he pulled her with him and he fled towards the opposite end of the house.
They entered into a large hallway and he turned to her, “Those people are dangerous. When they get like that and are about to ask questions, your best bet is to run as fast as you can,” he said.
“You’re kidding,” Jennifer said.
“I wish I were,” he replied. “Mom! MOM!”
They found his mom in a room at the end of the hallway. It was obviously her room because, as impossible as it sounded there was more golden stuff there than in any other part of the house. She was a dark, quiet woman whose small stature was at odds with her large taste.
“My Baby,” His mother opened her arms and Jeremy rushed eagerly into them. Jennifer raised an eyebrow, noticing that he had never hugged her as tightly as he was hugging his mother. They stood there for several minutes, whispering sweet nothings to each other, while Jennifer studied Jeremy’s mother’s impressive collection of exotic perfumes.
“And who is this fat-ass girl you’ve brought into my bedroom?” his mother asked, suddenly appearing behind Jennifer.
“Um, I’m…” Jennifer began to apologise, but Jeremy cut her off.
“This is Jennifer, Mom. She’s my girlfriend,” he said.
“Your girlfriend, huh? You’re welcome, my dear,” she said but her eyes said differently and she turned around before Jennifer could hug her.
“Mom, she’s studying engineering, just like me, and she’s really brilliant.” He pulled Jennifer closer as he spoke, and she felt a little better.
“Oh, really? Come on, let’s go meet the rest of the family,” she said. and she took her son’s arm so all three of them were walking together. Jennifer didn’t like it.
“What do you think of the house?” Jeremy’s mother asked. They were standing at the sink, washing what seemed like an endless pile of dishes. The front of her beige dress which she had bought to please his family was covered in soapy water from the sink.
“It is large and beautiful,” Jennifer said.
“That’s sweet, thank you,” she said. When Jennifer kept staring at her face, she raised a neatly trimmed eyebrow.
“I was wondering how you cope with the housekeeping of this big house,” Jennifer said.
“I don’t. I have help.” Jeremy’s mother said.
“Where are they?” Jennifer asked.
“They’re gone. This is a family gathering. I don’t want any strangers snooping around and asking questions,” she said. Her tone was not friendly like her smile so Jennifer was able to detect the insult in the remark.
“What are we going to make for that noisy crowd?” she asked Jennifer.
“What do you mean?” Jennifer asked, confused.
“A meal. At a time like this, what do you cook for my son?” she asked.
“We normally just order pizza,” Jennifer replied. The older woman gasped.
“So it’s all pizza that goes into that fat ass of yours. No wonder you don’t know how to wear an apron in the kitchen. Just look at your dress!” she exclaimed. Jennifer looked down at her new dress and almost wept. The realisation that she had forgotten to wear an apron because she was trying to get to the plates before Jeremy’s mother made the mistake feel even worse.
“I’m sorry,” she blurted.
“For what? I’m the one who feels sorry for you. Get inside the house and change. I’ll finish up here. You’re no good at it anyway,” the older woman said, shooing Jennifer out of the kitchen.
Jeremy was lying on the bed when Jennifer got in but he turned around to face her when he heard the door open.
“Whoa! What happened to your dress?” he asked.
“Your mother happened! I’m fed up with all her sideways glances and snarky remarks!”
Jeremy jumped off the bed and came to stand in front of her. “Calm down baby. Let’s go outside and talk.”
They went outside and stood on the balcony, watching the stars. Jennifer’s anger slowly faded, and she began to wonder whether she had spoken out of anger.
“My father and I used to come out here every night to play the harmonica and sing when I was young. We would play for hours until my mother became frustrated and shouted from downstairs, ‘If you want to come in, come in, and if you want to stay out, stay out!’” Jeremy said.
“Why does your mother love gold so much?” Jennifer asked.
“Oh, that. My mother fancies herself a dragon, and as she says, every good dragon should have a nice hoard of gold,” Jeremy said with a laugh.
“That’s quirky,” Jennifer said, despite herself.
“Yes, she is. Under that hard exterior, there’s a softie just waiting to love you.” He drew her close.
“I’m tired, Jeremy,” Jennifer said. She tried to pull away, but he held on to her.
“No, no, don’t do that to me,” Jeremy said. “We just got here, and you promised you’d stay with me until the end. It’s just two more days, Jenny. Please.”
He looked so pitiful that Jennifer felt even worse. “All right, I’ll stay,” she said tiredly.
“Yaaay!” Jeremy said, bending down to kiss her.
“Jeremy!” His mother’s voice pierced their happy bubble, and Jennifer frowned.
“Yes, Ma!” Jeremy called. “I’ll be right back, baby.”
Jennifer picked up her phone and called Delia. “Delia!” she whined when her friend’s face appeared on the screen.
“What’s up, bitch?” Delia said. “You’re at your mother-in-law’s, right?”
“Don’t call her that,” Jennifer said. Delia burst into loud laughter. “Would you stop laughing and listen to me?”
“All right, I won’t laugh anymore. What happened to you? You were so happy when you left,” Delia said.
“Why does his mother hate me? Why can’t she find a tiny space in her heart for me?” Jennifer asked.
“WAIT. I think I’ll need some popcorn for this,” Delia said and she disappeared for a minute only to appear with a giant bowl of popcorn. Jennifer was not pleased.
“Aren’t you being too hasty? How do you know she hates you?” Delia asked around a mouthful.
“She keeps calling me ‘fat ass,’ making snarky comments, and making me feel like the dumbest person on earth!” Jennifer said.
“That’s harsh,” Delia said.
“It hurts. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I looked forward to her accepting me so much.”
“I know what you have to do,” Delia said.
“What is that?”
“Stand up to her. This woman is definitely a bully, and the only way to stop her from picking on you is to stand up to her,” Delia said. Jennifer looked into her friend’s eyes and realised she had been right to befriend her two years earlier. She ended the call abruptly and walked quietly back to the room she and Jeremy shared.
“Let’s pray,” Jeremy’s mother said. Every member of Jeremy’s family was seated at the table. Jennifer folded her hands and watched as they all closed their eyes piously. She already felt a deep dislike for the lot of them, their permed hair, smooth skin and their mouths quivering in prayer.
Soon, the prayer was over, and everyone was asked to uncover the dish in front of them. Jennifer’s dish contained a vegetable salad she couldn’t identify and didn’t want to put in her mouth.
“Jennifer, dear,” Jeremy’s mother called when they were halfway through dinner. Before she spoke everyone had been chattering amiably. Jennifer was shocked to hear the woman call her by her name.
“Yeah?” she replied after a moment of silence.
“When you eat, try to keep your elbows off the table, okay?” she said.
“No,” Jennifer said. Everyone turned toward her.
“What do you mean?”
“I am here,” she said, pointing to the space beneath her chin, “in the muck of your snarky comments and veiled insults.”
“Calm down, Jenny,” Jeremy pleaded. Jennifer dismissed him with a wave of her hand, her voice rising.
“I understand you do not like the girl your son brought home but you have to know that I am precious to my mother too! My mother would never behave like you,” Jennifer continued. “You are obviously a woman wallowing in her insecurities and the fear of her son marrying and leaving her cold and lonely.”
She rose abruptly from her chair and stared at them all, trembling with rage. Then she walked out of the room, already regretting the words she had said. She tried to pretend she wasn’t hurt that Jeremy was still sitting at the table, too shocked to come after her.
Outside, the evening air hit Jennifer’s face, but it did little to cool the storm inside her. She kept walking, telling herself she had done the right thing. Yet beneath the anger was a small, painful question: had she finally stood up for herself, or had she just ruined the future she had imagined with Jeremy?
“Jenny, wait!”
She heard Jeremy’s voice behind her. For a moment, she considered walking faster, but she stopped when he caught up with her. He looked torn between the woman he loved and the family he had always known.
“You should have come after me,” she said, her voice trembling now that the anger was beginning to fade.
“I know,” Jeremy replied. “I’m sorry. I should never have let you face all of that alone.” He reached for her hand, but he did not force her to take his. “What Mom said to you was wrong. You didn’t deserve it.”
Jennifer looked back at the house. Through the windows, she could see the family still gathered around the table, their evening interrupted by the argument. “I didn’t want to fight with your mother,” she said. “I wanted her to like me. I wanted to feel like I belonged here.”
“I know,” he said quietly. “And you shouldn’t have to earn basic kindness from anyone, not even my mother.” He took a breath. “I can’t promise she’ll change overnight, but I can promise I won’t pretend this is okay again.”
Jennifer was still hurt, and she knew an apology would not erase the things that had been said. But Jeremy had finally understood that loving him did not mean she had to accept being humiliated by his family. She slipped her hand into his.
“Let’s go home,” she said. “We can figure out the rest when we’re ready.”
As they walked toward the car, Jennifer knew that the weekend had not ended the way she had hoped. She had not won his mother’s affection, and she had not solved everything between them. But she had learned something she would not forget: being welcomed into someone’s family should never require making herself smaller. And if she and Jeremy were going to build a future together, he would have to stand beside her, not leave her standing alone.
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