Double Trouble Birthday Palaver
Ding! Ding!
The doorbell rang loudly interrupting my foggy dream. I picked up my phone, it was 8:25 am in the morning. I spotted the date and immediately felt bouts of ecstasy wash over me. It was September 19, and that meant only one thing!
It was my birthday!
Ding! Ding!! The doorbell rang loudly again. Whoever was behind that door was clearly impatient.
“Who visits somebody so early in the day?” I wondered aloud to myself. Anyway, today was one of those days with unprecedented happenings. It was my birthday after all.
“Coming!” I yelled.
As I walked towards the door, I checked my voicemail. There was nothing there. I simultaneously checked my direct messages and inbox. nothing. Empty.
Amidst all the felicitation messages, and goodwill messages, there was nothing from the one I wanted most to see. There was no birthday message from Chris.
What’s going on? I thought aloud.
I immediately opened the door, and the weirdest thing happened.
“Surprise!!”
“Happy birthday Baby girl!!!”
Were the Screams, yells, and loud excited chaos that welcomed me.
‘”Oh my God!” I screamed.
The girls were here. The complete Coven, Jamie, Rana, Deborah, and Dave all stood outside smiling down at me.
Jamie had a beautiful cake that had ‘HBD ADA’ inscribed on it.
Rana had a few gifts in her bosom, and Deborah stood, singing with the most sonorous voice on earth as Dave gallantly stood playing the trumpet with such expertise, I wanted to melt with joy.
I had the best friends in the world, what else did I want?
Oh my Gosh! Oh my Gosh! I said, hugging them all at once. Tears of joy and laughter smearing my face on all sides.
“Can we at least go inside?” Jamie requested frowning at me playfully.
“Yes! Yes!” I replied laughing, realizing that I stood blocking the entrance to my apartment.
“Why did you all not tell me about this? I would have at least been dressed in better clothes to welcome y’all na.” I said as I noticed Rena’s eyes roving through my pajamas.
“Abeg eee… What’s a surprise without a surprise?” Rena replied doing her typical wordplay on me.” What’s the fun if we inform you? The whole event will have been ruined!! Who pajamas help?? We don see you finish, wetin dey there? Abi Dave?”
“Don’t mind them, Ada, you look just great. A princess in distress,” he replied, bursting into laughter as the girls joined him too.
I hated and loved them all at once. My friends were my best critics, and I wouldn’t trade that for life. Dave was my childhood friend, while Rena, Jamie, and Deborah were my best friends.
“Oya Ada, we’re going to Saint Louis barbecue resort right now, we need you to dress up really quickly. We can’t have you lazing around in this boring apartment.” Jamie said. She was the typical life of the party.
“But we don’t have a reservation na…”
My phone beeped intercepting the conversation.
Maybe it was him…finally…
“Hello…” I said.
“Happy birthday my sweet daughter!” It was my mother, Mrs wogu on the phone.
“Oh, good afternoon mama…” I couldn’t hide the disappointment in my voice. I had clearly anticipated somebody else.
“Ogini?? What is the matter?” She replied
“Come O, you need to leave this childish behavior of yours behind. You’re now twenty-four abi?! Some of your mates have given their poor mother two grandchildren already in the north, while You’re here behaving like an overgrown baby.” My mother sneered, rebuffing me.
“I know mama…I…I…” I said, trying to explain myself.
“Happy birthday to you. Your father sends his good wishes and prayers too.” She replied, interrupting my reply.” I sent you a birthday message this morning, won’t you at least reply to your mother’s messages too?” She demanded.
“Haba…mama…I’m sorry. I just woke up. The girls and Dave are here too. I’d reply as soon as I’m done with the call.”
“I want to see you for dinner tonight. Bring the girls and Dave too…love you.” She concluded and hung up.
“Hello mama?…dinner….??…”
Silence.
I quickly navigated to my inbox, where I found my mother’s message.
Happy birthday, Cheerie! My excellent daughter, the apple of my eyes. May God bless you, and blind the eyes of all that seek to do you evil. I decree in your life that you shall be a great child in Jesus’ name, members of my family will not laugh at me because of you. Amen. Now that you’re 24, hope you’ll bring him home tonight for family dinner?
Him?! Who is him?
Typical mama. Leave it to her to ruin a birthday message with her expectations and subtle references to a husband. The last thing on my mind was definitely bringing a boy home to my parents right now. My mother’s expectations would surely have to wait.
I quickly typed mama a quick thank you note, making special emphasis to her prayers by adding a bold ‘AMEN”. Completely ignoring her message about a ‘him’ I quickly typed;
Can’t make dinner tonight mom, got a class test tomorrow morning. Love you.
This was obviously a lie, but lies were the best companion when you needed to be evasive.
Mom was a sweet soul, but seriously, she could be the hardest person to deal with when she wanted to be.
I clicked send and watched the message leave my phone.
“Birthday girl, was that mama? I’ve missed her and her wahala a lot o…” Rena said, chuckling loudly.
“Don’t mind mama, she’s already subtly barraging me to bring her grandchildren and a husband. Since her best friend’s daughter recently got married, she would not let me breathe freely.” I replied bursting into laughter like everyone else.
“Ada, you need to hurry.” Dave said “We’d have enough time to gist about mama in the restaurant. Our reservation time is limited oo.” That was typical Dave, always particular about keeping to time.
“But I don’t want to go out today,” I retorted.
“Well, you have no choice on this matter oo!” Deborah replied.” It’s your birthday, and we must flex.”
“Alright, alright” I replied as I walked towards the bathroom, throwing a final glance at my phone.
Nothing. No messages from him, no cards, no voicemails. Nothing at all.
I shrugged, at least I had amazing friends that loved me, that’s all that matters.
But somewhere within me, I knew that my birthday would never be complete without his voice.
***
The restaurant was absolutely amazing, its view was stunningly magnificent, a top-notch 5-star restaurant.
We were seated at the top reservation, and this angle afforded us the best view of the newly opened restaurant.
The food was irresistibly sumptuous and was worth every dime of our money.
As we continued to take pictures in the beautiful scenery. I realized that other tables close by had reservations for couples only.
I thought of him again. Why hadn’t Chris called me yet?
“Hey Dave,” I said interrupting the story he was telling to Deborah, “how did you pull this off? This place looks amazingly expensive!”
“Well,” he replied, scratching his head, “We all pulled it off. With a little contribution from the girls, I was able to book one of the best views just for you.”
“Why?” I asked curiously, “it’s so expensive.”
“You see that smile on your face, you deserve to have it on, especially today,” Rana answered.
“Thank you so much my coven, what would I do without y’all,” I replied blushing.
Coven was the slang name we used to refer to the clique. It was our special code word.
As I turned to sip my drink, I noticed something, or rather someone walking into the restaurant. He had on an impeccable suit and had a huge smile on his face.
I would recognize that smile and impeccable sense of fashion anywhere. It could only be him. It was Chris.
I felt my heart leap with joy almost immediately. How did he know I was here, was this part of the surprise too?
As I reached to call for him, I immediately stopped short. Standing beside him was a pretty tall girl dressed in super-hot clothes. She was ravishingly beautiful, most guys in the restaurant swerved in her direction, stealing glances at her body curves.
I watched as Chris leaned in, and kissed her affectionately on the cheeks, as his hands circled her waist.
She muttered something in his ears, and they both laughed like they had no care whatsoever in the world.
Chris was not here to see me, he was here on a date with someone else. And worst of all, on my birthday!!
I guess my face must have given me away, as I noticed the girls and even Dave had their attention in the same direction.
They had seen Chris too.
I watched in shock as Chris, my boyfriend, who had forgotten about my birthday, and who had apparently been cheating on me, offered the hot lady a seat, kissed her again, and hurried to sit down, chatting away excitedly.
The idiot had been cheating for how long? I thought to myself as revulsion washed over me. The world suddenly started to spin, and bouts of nausea threatened to force itself up my throat.
I could not sit still anymore. I stood up and walked towards Chris, my head hot with fury.
“Ada! Ada!!” I heard my friends calling my name. I was too furious to pay them any attention.
As I approached Chris’ table, I watched as his face began to change with several reactions. First, brutal shock, then surprise as realization dawned on him, and then shame.
I had foolishly anticipated his call or birthday text throughout the day, ignorantly making excuses for him, failing to realize that the reason he had forgotten totally about it was that he was here having a swell time, cheating!!
“Hey, Ada…I can explain…” Chris started to say. The noise had drawn his attention towards me.
“How long?” I interrupted him. Trying hard to maintain a straight face before him.
The next series of events happened within a flash.
Before I knew what was happening, I felt Jamie reach for the cake that she’d held on to, flinging it furiously at Chris.
The sound of a thunderous slap followed immediately. Dave was pouncing on Chris without mercy. The grunts that followed the blows could make anyone sigh with pity.
But not Ada. He deserved everything he was getting from my friends.
His date, not able to take the embarrassment anymore immediately walked out of the restaurant, shouting Security! Security! Her large booty drew attention from half the men in the restaurant as she ran out to seek help, leaving Chris alone in shame with strips of food and a splatter of cake hanging disgustingly from his face and impeccable suit.
“Please…” Chris begged Dave coyly.
“You cheat!” Deborah thundered.
“You liar. You said you loved me!” I yelled.
“Despicable brute. People like you should never have been born in the first place.” Dave spoke with anger seething in his voice.
Chris stood surprisingly quiet with his head bowed in shame.
“But….but…” he stuttered.
“But what? You have no excuse whatsoever” I replied “…how could you forget my birthday and still be guilty of cheating on me on the same day? I don’t want to see you in my life again!” I yelled.
By this time the scene we had created had caused a small crowd of onlookers to gather. Some people were even taking videos on their phones.
“Can you see the mess you’ve caused, What in the world can you say to justify your foolish actions right now?” I demanded angrily.
But…. but… I’m not cheating…Chris stuttered… She’s only my sister, and we are here to plan your evening proposal surprise.
What??! We all thundered.
See Ada for yourself
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