Bitchy Girls Are The Nicest

People will not always tell you who they are but they will show you. Pay attention

This should be a beautiful story, I guess. I do not mean to seem or sound cliché and boring, but trust me when I say ​ ‘Do not judge a book by its cover!’ ​ I know. I know. You’ve probably heard this a billion times before. I have too, until I had an experience.

So you remember that party my girls forced me to attend in my first year in the university, right? Literally everything I had on that fateful day was donated by my girls who refused to allow me to have any excuse to miss the party.

Well, we had an altercation with another girl that day. They call her Yolanda.

Yolanda?

I used to think it was a pretty name until I met this one. Yolanda’s attitude towards us was obnoxious. This made Ejiro angrily tell Yolanda that the pronunciation of her name was akin to puking. She went further to give a demonstration of it incase Yolanda missed the insult.

With a gasp, Yolanda acknowledges the fact that she has just been insulted and guess what she did?

She poured her bottle of cold Smirnoff Ice on our freshly cleaned wigs and made sure everybody was watching as we were getting embarrassed in our class party.

We were all in shock. To say the least, nobody expected such a reaction. We all thought the worst she would do was dash out a few insults and we would clap back with the same intensity, little did we know that Yolanda was a doer and not much of a talker. I decided to stay quiet the entire time and let Ejiro and Sandra yell out threats at the top of their lungs. It was straight out of an American chick flick and it wasn’t pretty.

After that day, we vowed to get back at her in whatever form of vengeance was possible.

The easiest way to get back at an enemy is to first identify the enemy.

We knew her name was Yolanda, as some other new girls we met at the party mentioned her name. They also told us she was a fresher, that is, a first year student in the University. She didn’t look it though. She looked so comfortable in a foreign environment that everybody was still trying to get used to. The way she walked fluidly across the hall with her heels like she grew in them threw us off balance.

You see, Yolanda is a young, beautiful lady. All hate aside. She had hips the shape of a bracket. Hips were all the rage that year. In fact, we all know a nicely curved young lady never goes out of fashion. She was neither thin nor fat. You know that annoying middle ground between fat and slim that makes you just perfect, because you have the right amount of flesh in all the right places? I know you have a picture in your head right now.

She had shapely breasts too, proportional to the size of her backside. It didn’t stop there. She had crazy long legs that always looked so perfect in her short skirts. She had a gorgeous smile accentuated with her perfect dentition.

Argh! I hate to go on. Do not think me creepy for being able to describe her in a detailed manner. The girl’s presence demanded to be acknowledged as she managed to plant herself in every spotlight available. Yolanda is perfect and she knows it. She knew the control she had over the guys and even the girls and she wielded her power in a terrifying manner. The guys adored her while the girls just looked up to her in marvel disguised as hatred.

While Ejiro and Sandra plotted the different ways they could make life a living hell for Yolanda, I watched. I was barely making headway in my academics and I could care less about a Nicki Minaj wanna-be. For the record though, none of their plans actually worked out so they settled with hating her bitterly in their hearts and looking for every given opportunity to put her down and I’ll have you know that Yolanda did not back down. She was as vicious as they were brutal. A one-girl freaking army. I had to give it to her though, she was resilient.

This feud lasted for so long that I never thought I would have a normal conversation with Yolanda. I was not even looking forward to it as the two friends I had managed to make, that is Ejiro and Sandra, were almost too much for me to handle.But I had roughly two encounters with Yolanda, and those two encounters managed to change everything I thought I knew about that young woman.

The first time was after our Fresher’s party in the cafeteria. We just had our last lecture for the day. Every single person was exhausted, itchy, and annoyed because the lecture slated to end by 5:45pm ending by 7pm. I knew I wouldn’t have any food waiting for me in my room, so I decided to head on to the cafeteria and eat my dinner before retiring for the day.

I discovered that I wasn’t the only one hungry as a vast majority of my classmates were also in the cafeteria. The queue was long and as such, the woman in charge asked us to write what we wanted on a sheet of paper and pass it to her boy. It was a pretty efficient technique but it almost cost me my dignity. I had written in my normal order and even extra because of how hungry I was. The boy had served it before I discovered that I was not with enough money, and I wasn’t with my ATM card either!

The boy had begun to furrow his eyebrows, looking at me skeptically like I was about to bolt from the shop with his madam’s food.

“Samson, let me give you the remaining ₦200 tomorrow ​abeg.” ​I pleaded.

“​Madam, if yor moni no konplit, comot mek I sel for pesin wey redi! I no dey laik dile.”​ The spawn of Satan said to my face in pidgin.

I felt utterly embarrassed but at that point, my hunger was greater than my anger.

“​Abeg nah…I forget my…”

“Samson, take the ₦200.” Someone behind me said. I whirled around to see who my saviour was and behold! It was the Almighty Yolanda.

I muttered a thank you and dashed off after giving Samson the stink eye.

I tried to thank her again the next day but unfortunately, she was busy ‘oohing and aahing’ over our Lecturer’s child and I didn’t want to interrupt the moment.

I finally got to talk to her after our second encounter.

This time, it was in class. We were seated, patiently waiting for the next lecture which we were almost certain wouldn’t hold. But because of the erratic nature of the lecturer in charge of the course, we concluded that it would be in our best interest to wait till his time elapsed before leaving the class.

I was seated alone with my earphones plugged in, when this guy came to sit beside me. The 500-seater was far from full and most people had a chair to themselves. I had no idea why he decided to share mine with me. What irked me the most was why he was so close.

Counting on his discretion to actually make him move was an epic mistake.

“Excuse me, can you move a little?” I asked politely. I was in no mood for drama, I just wanted his legs to stop touching mine.

“​Ehn? ​What did you say?” He asked like he didn’t actually know what I was talking about.

“I said please move a little.” I repeated.

“To where ​na​?​” ​He asked stupidly.

“Your leg is touching mine. Move a little or look for somewhere else to sit!” I snapped.

“Which leg are you talking about? You’re not even happy my leg is touching yours. Girls and pride these days ​ehn! ​Ordinary leg…”

I was left shocked. I had no idea someone could still be this stupid. He was shouting at the top of his voice now, talking about how girls are so proud and hope to find a man who would voluntarily pay our bride price with such an attitude. It was at that point that I totally zoned out.

“Don’t be stupid. Move your dirty leg from her body. Your mates are outside doing great things with their lives and you’re here discussing another woman’s bride price, something you might never be able to afford at this rate.”

The class erupted in mocking shouts and jeers in response to what Yolanda said to the troublemaker. She stood there and watched him walk away in shame.

Look who’s being a champion for the weak and downtrodden. It was at that point that I decided I had to talk to her at all costs. I followed her outside after the class and managed to get her to sit and talk with me.

“Yolanda, I’ve been meaning to say thank you for the other day at the cafeteria. I couldn’t find the perfect time to do that. Thank you for today too. It meant a lot.” I said.

“You are welcome. I’m glad I could help.” When she was not yelling, she actually had a beautiful voice. Slightly husky though. She spoke fluent English too. Fantastic. Could she get more perfect?

“To be honest, I never thought you could ever be so helpful but you’ve proved me wrong.” I confessed.

“People assume what I am a lot and I’m not surprised. I’m glad you know I’m nothing like that.”

“Saying you’re nothing like that is far fetched. You do have some mean girl qualities.”

She smiled sadly, “I know…”

As much as Yolanda was being nice, I wasn’t going to let her get out of this conversation without baring my heart out or else I might just implode.

“I know this comes off a bit strange, but I’ve been angry with you for a very long time, Yolanda.”

“A long time? We just met!” She replied shocked.

“No. That’s what you think. We met a while ago and if you didn’t look so genuinely confused right now, I would have thought you were faking this.” I said straight to her face. There was no backing out now.

“Ada, please tell me. When did we meet?”

“Of course, I’ll tell you. First of all, I’m friends with your arch enemies, Ejiro and Sandra. You might have not noticed me because I am a loner and I prefer to keep to myself.”

“Wow! Sandra and Ejiro. Those girls…” I quickly interrupted her before she could get more words in and ruin the moment. I knew the three of them hated each other and I couldn’t care less.

“Yes. Yes. Anyways, we first met at our Welcome party at Lucky resorts. Do you remember that party? The very first party of the session. It was organized by the student body to wel…”

“I remember. I remember.”

“Well, I came with my girls and we were ready to have fun. Our first encounter was when we met you at the gate to the resort. We asked you if we were in the right place but you looked at us and then looked away without saying a word.”

“Oh my…”

“Yeah. Secondly, Sandra was trying to make her way to the suya stand and you were in her way. Next thing, you screamed at her for touching you, forgetting that she had asked you to please excuse her.”

“Jesus!” She exclaimed.

“Christ, the Son of God! The third time was with Ejiro. We had taken three seats for ourselves and Ejiro had to pee, so one seat was left vacant. You came from nowhere and sat on the chair, without bothering to ask who the previous occupant was. We tried telling you to stand up, but you looked at us like we were the scum of the earth, and then you looked away again.

Personally, I felt insulted but we decided to leave the fight to Ejiro. She was always the stronger one. Ejiro came and you guys almost fought but you eventually stood up. Ejiro insulted your name and in anger you poured your drink on all three of our beautiful heads. Then you walked away. Does that refresh your memory?” I said in almost one breath.

Yolanda looked stupefied. Almost like she did not believe she had done all those mean things. She genuinely looked sad.

“I sound like such a horrible person. So I guess that’s why Ejiro and Sandra hate my guts?”

“Yeah!”

“I’m so sorry Ada. I hardly ever admit that I’m wrong and this is one of those moments when it hits me that I have been wrong. I’m so sorry. I know no apology would make up for how I treated you and I am not promising to be an angel, but what I do promise is to change.” She said.

“That’s fine by me. I mean, I know you’re not so horrible with the way you helped me out and all. I guess you are an actual person with actual feelings…” Her loud laugh interrupted my speech and I couldn’t help but join in.

“Ada, thank you for trying to see beneath this mask that I put on and for knowing that though my actions might come across as mean, my intentions are not to hurt anybody. I really am sorry, and when I see Ejiro and Sandra, I’ll be sure to apologize to them.”

And I just had to smile. “That’s fine by me Yolly.”

“Yolly!?” And she started laughing again. “Is that a nickname? Yolly? It sounds so funny.” And I joined in the laughter.

“What kind of friend would I be if I don’t give you an embarrassing nickname?” I asked mockingly.

“We’re friends?” She looked at me like she didn’t want to believe it for fear of it not being true.

“Yeah. Friends.” And we sealed it with a hug. “And all my friends call me Addy.”

I told you. Wasn’t it a beautiful story?

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