Facing Responsibility and How to Cope
How To Cope With Responsibility |
When talking about facing responsibility, it is important to note that “nothing good comes easy”. Life itself is a responsibility, waking up every morning to a long or short tab of activities to carry out for the day requires a level of bravery that we all should strive to possess. Different individuals react to responsibilities in several ways, some well, some very badly.
The ones that react well are those who seem to have everything put together. While some of us react badly and either try to hide or try to run away.
Running away is the easy way out but it is not very wise. Alcohol, drugs and other vices are sometimes used to “run away” but they do not make the responsibilities disappear they only lead to secondary problems that will finally compound your anxiety.
Learning to cope with responsibilities is a gradual process that takes a lot of energy and willpower. The end product of dedicated learning of coping techniques to use when faced with responsibilities results in resilience, a virtue which we all need.
Here are some steps to take that will help you:
How to Cope with Responsibility
1. Take a Deep Breath
Image source: Unsplash.com
The importance of knowing when to take a deep breath cannot be over emphasized. That pause before the giant breath is enough to reduce the level of your freak out. Imagine you’re at work typing on your computer. Your table is messy and overflowing with work yet undone. You’re pissed, frustrated and in a very bad mood. The stress is at its peak and is making you feel not in control of the situation.
Then your boss walks in with a file under his/her arm. You quickly jump from your chair and some of the work gets knocked from the table and onto the floor. You let out an inaudible groan of frustration and your boss does the absolutely wrong thing to you at that moment. Him/her gives you more work! As he/she hands over the file to you the willpower and self control learnt from techniques to cope with responsibilities will prevent you from acting in your instincts and going on a rant.
It will perhaps save your job also. In situations like the one above, consider taking a deep breath. Unlike some people advertise, a deep breath won’t calm you. You’ll still be pissed as hell but at least it will stop whatever damaging retort you were about to give.
2. Keep your Head in the Game
Before you embark on a goal you look at the future and decide that it is a wise decision. In the case of responsibilities you grab this future and you never let it go. A vision of your desired end will help you be focused and willing to carry out this responsibility and the next.
One thing about responsibilities is that they give us pause. There are few people who are carrying out a responsibility without first thinking about it. Yes, Thinking about a responsibility can be overwhelming but it is important to keep your head in the game.
When you visualize the amount of responsibility on your plate and how much they will take from you it might trigger a panic attack and all this is perfectly normal because we’re all terrified of life anyway. The only difference is how much. You can ask yourself these questions: how terrified are you of life?
When you wake up every morning do you feel like going back to bed and drowning yourself in the sheets? Do you believe that nothing’s going to work out and then you don’t even try? Keeping your head in the game is wrapping your mind around the desired future and holding fast despite the buffeting winds of apparent reality.
3. Do Not Over Rationalize
Image Source: Unsplash.com
The reason why some people fail in their assigned responsibility is because they over rationalize. Why should I be doing this? What if I can’t do this? Some questions are just not necessary and should be avoided. Waiting for factual evidence before you consider doing what you should do means you’ll have to wait forever.
Taking up responsibilities is a choice that you take after subjective and minimally objective analysis. For example, trying to rationalize the reason why you take care of your children is just pointless.
Rational question: Why should I take care of my children?
Non-rational answer: I should because I love them
Rational answer: nil
Yet, child care is the parents responsibility and rationalizing it would take away all the feeling and zeal the mere thought of child care would previously evoke. The responsibilities that come with a romantic relationship cannot be rationalized without taking something of importance from the act.
4. Talk to Someone
They say a problem told is a problem half solved and I believe it. Who else feels better after talking with someone about stuff? I do! I hope you do too.
Even super humans need someone to talk to when things get hard. Talking to someone helps your situation seem more real. Ironically, instead of making it seem more terrifying it actually makes it seem easier to deal with, something you can take on.
Therapy and counseling works very well but what works wonders is telling your problems to someone around you, who is in a close relationship with you and will be able to hug you and dry your tears when you’re done talking. It is called “getting help” when your anxiety about the responsibility raises above normal level and is tottering towards depression.
Image source: Unsplash.com
5. Choose To Be Brave
Most great people in the world who have done wonders with their lives and have touched countless numbers of people did so because they chose to be brave.
In the story of David and Goliath, Goliath was an insurmountable task that David had to take care of. The young boy walked towards his supposed doom boldly and with just a slingshot. That’s bravery!
When a task seems like it’ll be nearly impossible, the best thing to do is to approach it with bravery. First ask yourself, what do I have to lose if I excel? What do I stand to gain? I am quite sure that the gains will most definitely outnumber the losses you’ll encounter when you take the plough and start farming your life.
Some days I stand in front of the mirror and just stare at myself, at my profile. I straighten my shoulders and just take this stance of “I’m the boss, don’t mess with me” it always makes me burst into laughter but it also makes me see one thing. Success sure looks good on me.
6. Know Your Limitations And Defeat Them
Having knowledge of all the exits, pathways and rooms of a fortress will help you infiltrate it. It is the same with your limitations, knowing them, how they work, how they came about is important because it shows you their weaknesses and makes it easier for you to overcome.
See your limitations like a fortress or a well protected city with high impenetrable walls and yourself a little speck of a human standing in front of the gates or hiding behind a little rise to avoid being seen. From that vantage point, it is obvious that you have lost the battle already. You can’t just walk in there, point a weapon at the entire population and say “Surrender!”.
In facing responsibility, you also cannot scale the walls because that would be a death sentence. An arrow, a huge chunk of rock or some oil would send you to a pretty painful death. Everything is discouraging right? You’re already packing up all your camping gear, ready to retreat back into your shell when you see a roll of parchment lying near the foot of a tree.
You read it and see that it is a plan, the plan of the city. You study it for an opening and you find that there’s a tunnel hidden somewhere by the west wall that would lead you right into the king’s own chambers! Talk about energy boost. I already see you gearing up and cocking your guns and all that in preparation to conquer that so called insurmountable limitation that has been bringing you down.
Is your limitation financial? A physical disability? A chronic disease? A character flaw? There’s always a tunnel hidden by the west wall that you can pass through to victory. Even while the shadow of the wall eclipses you and makes you doubt that the sun actually shines, know that there’s a way out of all your limitations and knowledge is power.
7. One Step At A Time
The word stratum means one of several parallel horizontal layers of material arranged one on top of another. Although you cannot actually call it steps but they are similar. Arranging your responsibilities into layers instead of just cramming them all together makes it easier for you to just take them apart piece by piece.
That’s why a pile of pancakes is so appealing and makes you eat more than you planned to. Imagine that stack as one pancake sitting smack dab in you plate and you’ll automatically gain a few pounds! But when you take it one after the other, the pile grows smaller and smaller until it eventually ceases to be.
Tasks are easier when you have a time table, it helps you focus and keeps you from drowning. What if the responsibilities come all at once and you’re going crazy? It means you have work to do and that job is to put all of them into layers according to urgency and importance, sit down with some “Jam” and take those responsibilities one pancake at a time.
8. The Earlier You Do It The Better
Sometimes when responsibilities hit us, they bring us to our knees and we just tend to stay there. Maybe because you’re down already and it’s easier to remain in place than to get up? Or maybe because when it hit you it chipped something from your mind or broke your heart? There are many reasons why people choose to stay down.
Maybe the impact was such harsh abuse, their pride was hurt and they felt helpless at that moment. The feeling of helplessness is like a hard drug and people easily get addicted to thinking they cannot do this or that. Like hard drugs, in facing responsibility it is also unhealthy and can shorten the span of your life or career.
Recognize that you’ll have to do it anyway for things to work smoothly and get better, so take the bull by the horns. Get a handhold and rise up from that kneeling, subservient position and take your life into your own hands. Your life will take on a smiling face and thank you for doing so.
Image source: Unsplash.com
9. Don’t worry about Eventualities
We all know that what ifs do not get answered. It’s like asking a rhetorical question just for the fun of it. Anything can happen between the present and the future depending on what you do today. As everyone knows, choices have resulting consequences, so does activity or inactivity.
If you’re worried about what will happen if you make an effort to facing responsibility then I worry about you. What you should worry about is what will not happen if you don’t? Is it not funny how negativity fills even your life questions and belief with negatives?
What if I can’t? What if I’m not strong enough? What if I fail? and an endless list of other negatives that slowly poison you.
Why not just believe that everything will work out well in the end and just go on doing your part? Why not tell yourself that you are sufficient for the task? The truth is: Worries do not solve problems, actions do. So the faster you stop worrying and just act, the better for you.
10. Facing Responsibility and Freedom
One of the gains of being responsible is that it brings long lasting freedom. It is true that he who has made many sacrifices expects returns. Just as to him who much is given much is expected. It’s the same way with facing responsibility. Responsibility is hard work, and hard work pays.
Responsibility brings financial freedom, emotional freedom (it takes your mind off some stuff) and other kinds of freedom.
In conclusion, learning how to cope with responsibilities is a fun process that ensures success in all life endeavors. Daily we are faced with choices and responsibilities that determine the trajectory of our lives. “I cannot” is the anthem of the weak and cowardly.
Be brave
What's Your Reaction?
