Did you just meet someone that may be a potential match? Great! Now, it’s time for the first date and all of your palms are sweaty and nervous, right?

If you can think and carefully plan it right, your first date might become the most exciting experience yet.

Imagine you’re on your first date and you’re thinking of what to say, so you blurt out something cliché. Something that sounds like, “So, tell me about yourself…I want to meet the real you.” 😂

And like a robot with an imputed answer, she spills a carefully thought-out, boring answer to meet your carefully rehearsed question. She does not go any further. It’s almost like you’re interviewing her for a job opening, rather than engaging her in a first date conversation.

Her answer tells you absolutely nothing about her interests, her values, aspirations, preferences, likes, or dislikes.

The conversation is stifling and boring, there appears to be no way forward. Suddenly she picks up her phone and starts staring at some Instagram pictures.

You both know the end is near, and there would be no second date.

Now, let’s snap back to reality.

Whether you’re out on a date with somebody new or just starting a new relationship, a rekindled bowl of nervousness is bound to start cooking within your stomach. Even for the best and most experienced of daters, the feeling is new every time.

While it is good to find the perfect outfit, pick the best restaurants with the choicest music, etc. more than all of these, finding the right things to say and knowing when to say these things is what will leave a remarkable and equally memorable first date experience for the both of you.

So, how do you effectively mix and manage all of these attributes together? How do you make your first date memorable with a great conversation?

The other day, in a conversation with somebody, he said something that left me thinking. In his own words, (which happens to be the thoughts of a lot of people) he said;

“From getting to know a person to tongue-tying first dates, the whole process of meeting someone new can be unnecessarily tedious. I never want to relive the experience. I am not a big fan of the first dates…it sucks big time!”

A lot of us can relate to this one way or the other. While Some people may be generally amiable and strike it out effortlessly with their partner on the first date, a whole lot of others, which happens to be the vast majority of us, may not find the entire first-date thing a walk-in-the-park experience.

Personally, I don’t fancy all the dating opinions parading the internet on what to do, and what not to do, in order to be a great first date. If we all took this advice, we’d be like robots patterned to follow a set of stereotypical rules. You must first understand that there are no spelled out rules!

Different approaches and styles of conversation work for different individuals and versatile personalities. For some, there are no off-limits questions for first dates, while for others watching temperaments and going with the flow is what suits best.

Starting off your conversation with something you’re personally fascinated or passionate about and listening for their opinions, value-system and general preferences can help guide your conversations as well as determine right away if you two are headed in the same direction.

First dates can be a number of things, awkward, nerve-wracking, heart wrenching, disastrous, or whatever you make of it in the long run. So, what kind of questions should your conversations be centered on in order to leave a positive first impression? How do you learn about your date and encourage a nice time together on a first date?

Here Are a Few Questions to Center Your Conversation on And Reduce The Feeling of Awkwardness

Keeping in mind that the purpose of your first date is basically to check each other out (that is to know yourselves a little more), some of these questions are bound to help you determine whether your date is someone you’re compatible with, reduce ‘first-date anxiety’, and eliminate boring and surface-level conversations.

1. How’s The Scenery? Do You Like It?

Asking this question may sound like stating something obvious and basically out of the book, but the truth remains that setting and anchoring the conversation around your date’s interests, thoughts, preferences, and tastes are bound to get them talking faster.

Asking your date what they think about the environment and showing genuine interest in their thoughts and manner of speech is bound to start an engaging conversation.

2. What’s A Normal Day For You?

instead of outrightly demanding typical questions like “what do you do?” “what’s your job like?” and so on, asking about a normal day in their life is bound to get them talking faster and even answering questions about their typical job routine, and sometimes even much more.

When your date answers this, it is vital to pay close attention to their body language, and other visible signs they may not be aware they’re showing. By doing so, you should be able to tell whether they love their jobs or not. Carefully treading with follow up questions can even get you deeper answers than you would ever imagine without appearing intrusive.

3. What Was Your First Impression Of Me?

This question here is definitely better than asking “what do you think about me?” “Do I look good?” Asking the what do you think about me question may put a lot of girls off immediately, as it would portray the guy as self-absorbed, chauvinistic, and definitely not in the good light.

Trying to get her to answer this question can be a way to personally assess yourself, and learn what kind of person your first date sees you as. This would also help you make needful corrections for a second date or even teach you needful life lessons.

4. Do You Have Family Around?

Your date might answer yes, or no, but it’s a better way to learn about his/her family without coming off as too intrusive and nosy. Connecting and asking questions on a deeper level is bound to elevate your conversation to a better point. Questions about family for some people may not be the ideal first date question as some individuals have sour experiences growing up. Although, it may be worth giving a try.

Asking about your date’s family is bound to show that you really care about an essential aspect of their lives, their little beginnings, and not only yourself.

5. What Are Your Plans For The Future?

This is way subtle and easily answerable than the in-depth question of “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” No, please don’t do that. You do not want to sound like a recruiter for a job service. This is a date, where you can both interact freely without interfering in each other’s entire business.

Asking about your date’s future plans puts you in the good light as they’d get the impression that you’re genuinely concerned about their growth going forward and interested in being part of the process too. Asking this question and tethering the conversation the right way might just help increase your bonus point and help increase your chances of a second date.

6. Do You Have Any Big Goals You Wish To Accomplish In Your Lifetime?

This question is one of those sensitive yet essential first date questions. It’s like the previous question, but it’s different.

By asking this, you’re bound to learn if your date has a long term vision or just living the day as it comes. This question will also help answer the question of your long term compatibility. Chances are, if your long term goals do not match, you might not be having a second date

7. What Value Systems Do You Hold?

Every individual holds a value system, and our values generally influence our lifestyle and shape our thought pattern. While some may be flexible, diplomatic, and adjustable, others are bound to be rigid, uncompromising, and conservative.

Understanding where your partner stands will make things a whole lot easier as your date progresses.

8. How Long Was Your Longest Relationship?

With this question, you can tell if your date is looking to have something long-lasting or a casual fling. Asking this question the right way will prevent you from poking your nose in anything that does not concern you.

First date questions are supposed to establish a level of commitment and understanding of yourselves before anything else. You must be super careful when asking or answering this question. Try not to go into muddy details that may elicit unwanted emotions from your date. It is best to always remember this: The past remains in the past on the first date.

9. Do You Have A Mental List Of Your Favourite Movies, Music? (What’s the Last Book you Read?)

Learning about your date’s artistic preference can spark off your conversation in an engaging manner. By learning about her favorite movies, you can generally draw if he/she enjoys going to the cinema and watching movies. From this, you can also opine if your next date will be at the cinemas, that’s if you both come to a mutual agreement of it happening.

Asking about her favorite books and music will also give you an insight into what her reading culture is like; if she’s a bookworm or not. This question also opens up conversations on general interest and pass-time hobbies.

See Also

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10. What’s One Of Your Funniest Experiences?

This is bound to ease your date, and get them to start smiling and talking excitedly. You may even be prompted to reply by telling funny stories of yourself to continue the conversation. The main thing is that you both have a great time and enjoy every bit of each other.

Asking about the funniest experiences is also a way to quantify your date’s sense of humor and have a good laugh. And laughter is one of the most anticipated things to look out for on a first date. It leaves a good and lasting impression.

11. Where Would Be The First Three Places You’d Love To Travel To?

People love talking about themselves a lot. Talking about travel sentiments is also a way to spark things up further. Asking questions like “if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?” “Which airline would you love to fly with?” “What is stopping you from doing so yet?” and asking why they’d love to visit that location in the first place, can be a great way to draw the two of you closer.

12. Do You Enjoy Sports?

This question does not pertain to only guys. A lot of ladies enjoy sports too and enjoy talking about it too.

Other First Date Conversation Starters to Put in Mind

13. Who’s your favorite movie villain?

14. Are you a morning person?

15. What insects do you fear?

16. What were your aspirations as a child?

17. How open are you with people?

18. Would you rather…?

19. What’s your pet peeve?

20. What are you most proud of?

21. What’s something that most people don’t know about you?

In conclusion, Most of these conversation starters are meant to be a mental guide or backup questions for a first date or dinner of any sort. It is best advisable to always flow naturally and be yourself at all times. You can also explore and find more questions here.

Did I forget any questions?

Please let me know what works for you in the comments box!!😉👍

All images are obtained from Pixabay, free for commercial use and no attribution required