Children’s Day 2023: Child Care and New Generation Parenting

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Happy Children’s day! As we celebrate children, we also celebrate their parents. Parents are superheroes. Bringing a child to the world and nurturing them from infancy to whatever stage of development they are in now is no easy feat. Parenting requires love, commitment and dedication. Our parents raised us the best way they could and we appreciate that.

As New generation parents – those who are yet to have children and those whose children are still quite young, there’s a lot we can do better than our parents. Here at Afrolady, we discuss every topic from an African perspective but I hope parents around the world can read and learn.

How To Take Better Care Of Your Children in 2022

Not everyone is cut out to be a parent, and even those who are cut out for it don’t find it easy at times. Yet, children are a delicate species of humans. They need constant care, love, and validation. They need guidance and counseling. They need support and prayers. They need provision, stability, and protection. Children rely entirely on their parents so what happens when parents fail to be the support they need?

Imagine a white beautiful wedding cake sitting pretty on a table. The baker had some difficulties so, at this moment, the cake is a bit fragile. This fragility is however concealed because there are strong cake pillars holding it together. Take away all these pillars and the cake comes crashing down. Take away one pillar and that part of the cake would cave in.

Some children have all the pillars holding them up and keeping them beautiful. Others have a few pillars and cave-ins. Emotional cave-ins, psychological cave-ins, physical cave-ins. On the other end of the spectrum are those who have no pillars at all. This group of children come crashing down time and time again.

If you’re reading this article, you were once in one of those three categories. Perhaps in the last two and you want to change something. Your desire to improve on your parenting style and raise better children must have brought you here and that is awesome. We will be learning from each other.

I asked ten(10) people this question: As a new generation parent (considering the way your parents raised you), what would you do differently for your own children? Their answers are at the base of this article. Here are ways to take better care of your children:

1. Be a Friend

While it is never too late to build a relationship with your children, starting early ensures that they see you as a friendly figure from the earliest days of their lives. In a bid to enforce discipline, parents could risk being unapproachable to their children. How can you be a friend to your child without risking delinquency? You simply have to recognize that your child is a person while setting boundaries.

African parents sometimes find it hard to see their children as individuals with their own likes and dislikes, temperaments, and will. “You are my child” or “I am your father/mother” is a phrase used to justify wrongs against a child’s physical, psychological, and emotional well-being. As much as we want the best for our children, we should try to not be heavy-handed and dogmatic.

Don’t just be nice and caring to your child on birthdays and special days like children’s day. Instead of saying “Shut up, I am your father”, listen to what the child has to say. He might have unique perspectives you didn’t think of. The friendship between a parent and a child does not mean parental authority is cast aside. According to Parentingscience.com, a good parent does the following things:

She treats her children as individuals with minds of their own.
She talks with her kids about their thoughts, hopes, ideas, and feelings.
She shares bits of her own “mental life” with them–not the bits likely to distress kids, but bits that help kids see their parents as human beings (Example: “I’m disappointed. I wish we could go to Disneyland, too, but we can’t afford it.”)

2. Anger Management

Good anger management skills will help you avoid hurting your child irreparably with your words and actions. Before you hurl that slipper or those curses, put your anger under control. Someone said something very valuable: The best time to discipline a child is when you are no longer angry.

3. Teach Them Responsibility

We have all noticed that childhood and teenage delinquency has been on the increase. Have we ever asked why? The secret is responsibility. Teaching a child to be responsible for something tangible and real kills the formation of the feeling of entitlement. You teach your children responsibility by:

Assigning age appropriate duties to them.
Rewarding hard work and discouraging laziness.
Teaching them to go the extra mile
Leaving them to make and learn from their mistakes.

4. Counsel Them

Counseling involves equipping an individual with skills that would help her in life. Skills like time management, leadership and collaboration. It is also the colluding of two people to solve a problem. A parent who is a great counselor does not tell his child exactly what to do but instead steers him to the solutions and allows him to make his own decisions. This creates a strong, healthy adult who is not afraid to speak up and take decisions.

5. Believe in Them

Be your child’s greatest support system. Show your child that you trust them through your actions, and show them this not just on children’s day, but every other day as well. If you trust their judgment, you would think deeply and if possible accept their suggestions. This would make them feel like their opinion is of importance and it will boost their self esteem.

Giving them important duties is also a great way to let your children know you believe in their abilities. It makes them think, if mommy thinks I can do this thing then maybe I can. Don’t forget to tell them also. A simple “I believe in you” can give your child enough motivation to last her a lifetime.

6. Be A Good Example

Actions speak louder than words. Children learn by watching. You could be talking about something for a year and your child might not really understand, but the day you do it? You’ll be shocked at how fast he imbibes it. This is why we must set good examples for our children if we want them to be good representatives of us.

You can’t tell a child not to steal when he watches you stealing from others. A child would not listen to a lazy parent who demands that he should be hardworking. You have to live what you preach. There are no shortcuts.

7. Teach Them It is Healthy And Okay To Love

This generation is full of people who have little empathy for their fellow humans. This stony hearted behavior can be traced to a loveless childhood. In some homes, children are not encouraged to see one another as a team. They are not encouraged to love one another and this impacts on their relationships later in life.

As New generation parents, we need to teach our children that loving someone is a good thing. We need to show them examples of a love-filled and stable marriage. We need to teach them to express love and other emotions in the most healthy manner possible.

Nigerian Youths Share What They Would Do Differently When They Have Children

“I will teach them not to be weaklings. Never to have an excuse for my excesses. But God, my mom was hard😂😂, I don’t want to be that hard, but I want to give everything back. The push, the words of affirmation, the spankings too. I feel the kids that my generation is going to raise are going to be weaklings and serial apologists for failure. Lol. I don’t want that.”

-R

“I’ll be more attentive. Allow them express themselves and try to understand the peculiarities of the age they are in.”

-A

“Give them more choices. Empower them to dare to be different. Give them access to multiple forms of education. Allow them to discover themselves by themselves and allow them to follow their passions.
Don’t ask me how I’ll do most of those things. I’m still figuring them out”

-G

“I’ll say, spend time with my children and discuss stuff that our own parents considered “odd” to discuss with their children. Like sex, dating, friendship, love. With the boys, I’d teach them how to be a man. Not just let society influence their ideologies of what it is to be one.”

-O

“I’d do the same things my parents did.
Only this times I’d sit my children and teach them the consequences of their actions.
But you see that beating, I go still beat them.”

-E

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“I’ll care about their mental health more. I feel like while growing up and even till now, my parents do not know how I fare mentally, they just shove their shits in my throats and that’s why I won’t stop doing things my own way.
Sometimes I feel like I’m wronging or disappointing them but I cannot help it.
I wouldn’t want my kids to be the same, so, I’ll try and be a better parent who keeps tabs on their child’s mental health.”

-B

“I will correct the errors my parents made by giving them a chance on hw their life is gonna be. I will try to pay more attention to them and listen to their own point of view and then gv them guidelines on how to go rather than imposing my choice on them.”

-F

“*Showing them the love I have for them and also saying it for them to hear. Make them my best friends so they can tell me everything.”

-H

“I’ll try not to correct things that didn’t need correction and enforce manners I taught myself such as: Opening doors for anyone is no big deal, helping people without expecting anything in return…think there’s more but we are starting with these ones.”

-J