8 Reasons Why I Cannot Join The #SilhouetteChallenge
Put your head on my shoul… yes!! Another challenge. This one is even sexier than the last one. It’s sexy, sassy, seductive with just a lil sprinkle of naughty.
The #SilhouetteChallenge is usually done like this: first, the lady dances around a little in casual clothes or a robe for a few seconds. Then as soon as the song transitions to the “put your head on my shoulder” part, the lighting changes to red and she is transformed into a sexy minx posing and whining against the door.
Seems quite easy? Well, I have a few problems with the execution.
1. I Have No Ass and No boobs
Okay, let me be honest. I am more on the average side. Average assets all round and I know you’re thinking: if you have it average surely you can… noooo! I can’t. All the people I have seen doing this challenge are thoroughly blessed with either ass or boobs or both. Something has to be there to manifest in the near darkness. If I were to do it, the world would be blessed with the sight of my skinny shadow flat against the door.
2. I Can’t Find The Red Filter
I don’t know what is wrong with my app. I confess I only downloaded TikTok when BussItchallenge was trending in hopes that I could do it too. I am still unfamiliar with everything there. I basically only know how to slide up and down. How do you guys do the transition? How do you find the filter and add it to the song? HELP ME PLEASE.
3. I Can’t Bend And Whine
Of course you can’t just pose by a door and stand there. Other ladies have been getting very creative with the bending and curving part of the challenge. I saw a lady who danced on a pole in the middle of her room. Some even do the split. If I try to split, I would end up in the hospital. What about those that touch their toes? Move their waist like water? I’m out please. I can’t deal.
4. I Am Short
Na short I short, I no kill person. I prefer to be called “fun-sized” but I can’t sugar coat things here. I am short and because of that I don’t have a real silhouette. My silhouette is as short as I am which means it doesn’t stretch; which also means it looks bad on camera and under red lights. My legs are not long. I swear, God was trying to be economical when he was creating my body parts.
5. There Is No Privacy In My House
It is a crime to lock your room door in my house, unless you’re doing something questionable inside your room. How on earth can I get naked when I know my ten-year old brother could walk in at any moment? Or my mom? Let me not forget to mention that there are “cameras” all over my house.
While I was considering joining this challenge, I tried to imagine my mom’s facial expression when she watches the video, sees me butt naked and sliding around a door. lol…I’m not that suicidal!
6. I am Shy
Yes, we still exist. This is quite hard to say but I really am not that confident showing my body to people. Getting naked in someone’s presence is a chore for me. Red light or no red light, I do not have the balls to do the #SilhouetteChallenge. I could try but I would bail out last minute or even delete the video after making it.
7. It Won’t Trend
I have less than a hundred real followers on Twitter. I have no followers on Tiktok. No one would see it. It would be only me watching it over and over until I can’t see anything but those red lights. Please follow me on Twitter. I saw many of these videos that had over one thousand comments and my mind was blown. If I post mine, I will get about two or three comments from family members telling me to take the video down.
8. My Parents Will Disown Me
Finally, the last but most important reason. My parents will disown me. Try explaining to disciplinarians and no-nonsense persons, who also have a flair for drama, that it’s just a challenge. A challenge to be naked for the whole world to see!!! I imagine myself coming back to the house and seeing all my things waiting outside for me under a placard reading “We don’t want to see your Silhouette here anymore”. The threat of being homeless, especially in this economy is a very serious one.
If I leave under my parents roof, how do I eat? Where will I stay? How will I fund my baby girl lifestyle? If they don’t throw me out then it means my mom thinks a demon must have possessed me and will even take me for deliverance. Unfortunately, this kind of incident will never be forgotten in my family. Twenty years from now, you will have forgotten everything about the video but my parents would keep reminding me. Giving the kind of dragging you think you can only find on Twitter.
Although, I’m all for women glorifying and reveling in their sensuality, (ride on queens👏👏👏) but the way I am looking at it, this challenge will have to pass me by too. I am not proud to say that I could also not do the #bussitchallenge but I have 11 solid (very real) reasons. If you feel the same way, know that we are in this together! Tell me why you can’t join the challenge, your reason could be more serious or funnier than mine. Let’s have some fun at least.
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