12 Things To Avoid Doing On A First Date

What’s The Worst Thing You’ve Ever Said on a First Date?

Ever been out with somebody new, and wondered why they suddenly ghosted after the first date?

Well, three reasons come to mind;

1. You were a jerk.
2. You were seriously not their type
3. I’d never know, really…but here’s one thing I do know for sure👇

First dates are usually the toughest of them all.

Even if, according to your standards and self appraised thoughts, you’ve done everything the right and pleasant way possible and even charmed your way through dinner, the fact that they ghosted only goes to show that something probably went wrong.

The question is: how? & where?

You slowly wonder to yourself: How did it all become stale suddenly? Maybe that joke you cracked during dinner was not entirely funny to her? Did she just force a laugh out of courtesy? Or had she only commented on your looks because you asked?

First dates can be a terrible experience for both individuals if the right amount of ‘natural effort’ is not put into place.

So then, what is natural effort and how do you know how to make your first date an unforgettable experience of a lifetime for yourself and your date?

Hang around, we’re going to be on a long and informative ride, as we find out in this article. And it will be fun! 😊

First dates can be a lot of things. From risky business to an exhilarating adventure on an island, you can be pulsing with adrenaline one moment, and feeling pangy butterflies swarming your stomach the very next moment. Despite all of these, the idea of potentially meeting the ‘one’ or starting a new relationship with someone right keeps pulling lots of people towards the same dating direction.

Even for the expert, all first dates can be overwhelming and mind-boggling.

If only dating were easier! What a lovely coaster ride it’ll be.

But the truth is, nothing pleasurable and real comes without effort and work. Putting into consideration that upping your game requires a lot of factors, it may be daunting and discouraging, but in the long run, building the anticipation towards meeting a possible match can be totally fun if you put it into the right perspective. What topics are off-limits?

Relatably, when dating, we’re often stuck between two conflicting impulses, the need to find love and not wanting to spend our precious time on something that might not yield positive results in the long run. In other words, we don’t want to waste our time as well as the other person’s.

With this in mind, leaving a good and preferable stunning impression is very vital for a first date, which may in turn lead to a second date if the cards are played right by both individuals.

So, what topics are off-limits, and how do you position yourself as an admirable and attractive person with the appropriate conversation starters on your first date?

1. Don’t Act Too Intense

Yeah! I totally understand that you’re feeling a bit too nervous and not yourself on this particular date, but letting these initial frightening emotions take over your ability to converse properly and enjoy yourself will be totally unacceptable.

Okay, let’s see it this way, who says you’re the only one nervous at the table! Chances are that your date is just as nervous as well, or maybe even more.

The key to taking control of your emotions is facing it squarely in the eye, in this case, your date.

Subsequently, experts have proven that the ability to talk openly about nervousness actually helps to reduce it. So, next time instead of stuttering and saying all the wrong things at once, try to avoid being perfect, and just be real with yourself. You could say; “I’ve anticipated this date for so long that now it’s finally here, I’ve got wobbly knees.” If you say something as genuine as this to your date with a smile, she’s bound to appreciate your openness and unapologetic vulnerability, which is in fact, a quality that most ladies look out particularly for in their men. So, hell yes! Your nervousness may just have won you a second date!

Another way most people make mistakes is by trying to jump the rope. Seriously, you need to stop as it does not help at all. You’re only killing your bonus points! First dates are meant to be an unofficial (or official) meeting of two individuals, with the paramount idea to learn more things about each other. First, You seriously can’t be talking about marriage while your date is still checking you out, and getting to know you! Yikes! That will be creepy, stupid, and an ultimate turn-off.

It is okay to think of the future while in the present, but waiting for the right time to share your thoughts is best advisable.

2. Don’t Jump To Unnecessary Conclusions Yet

It’s all about perception. You need to look on the bright side at all times – even on a first date. We’re oftentimes too quick to jump to conclusions even before we hear people speak. And when they do speak, we may have unconsciously inferred a different meaning from their words than what was initially implied.

Assuming your first date has a bad sense of humor just because his/her face appears to have an unexciting grim when you see them walk into the restaurant will be like judging a book by its cover. Such speculations and untrue thoughts could be deceptive and can send you flying farther away from each other than anything else that was planned. Maybe they’re not looking as excited to see you because they had a tough encounter before coming for the dinner appointment.

First impressions are not always true. Always remember this.

3. Never Ask This Question: How is a Beautiful Girl Like You Still Single?

This question is always the ultimate deal-breaker and definitely a ‘No No’ for a first date. It puts the lady in an awkward position and stifles further conversation.

First dates are supposed to be a fancy meet & greet session and not a job service interview. When guys ask this question, most of them think it is a compliment given subtly with an inquiry. Most of the time, researchers and relationship experts have proven that most ladies take this question very badly. I personally do not find this question appropriate for a first date conversation, as it clearly deters the ‘do’s and don’ts’ rules of the game, and can definitely mar your chances of a second date. Instead of asking this question, here are better and engaging conversation starters and first appropriate first date questions that are bound to guarantee the best results, and lead on to a natural and exciting conversation.

4. Never Talk About Your Previous Relationship Or Ex

Whether it was a good or bad relationship, this is a complete “must-not”. A lot of people try to make the first date more complicated than it is. Speaking and showing signs of emotional baggage from your last relationship does not leave the best impression about you to your date. Truth is, nothing will send your first date on hot-heels away from you than hearing a crazy ex story from you on your first date. People are bound to run away from partners who are still reeling from the clutches of an old love into the rolling wheels of a new one.

This may seem obvious, but the person you’re hoping to get involved with, definitely would not want to hear about your past relationships yet. Bringing it up would be insensitive and all together rude to your first date. If the need arises, try to make it sound as platonic as possible to avoid complications with your new date.

Being able to speak considerably about your partner during the entire conversation will reflect better on your moral standards and personal effectiveness.

5. Don’t Barrage Them With Questions

You’re a date and not the Inspector General of Police! It’s supposed to be a conversation and not an interview/interrogation session. Asking too many questions on the first date is bound to make your partner feel uncomfortable. It’s best advisable to ask a few questions and let your partner take it over from there. It is usually more enjoyable when the conversation flows naturally from both parties, in that way, it would not look like an interrogation session with some prompt questions already crammed into the skull.

It is totally okay not to force conversations at all times. Your date probably has a list of return questions lined up for you as well. It is advisable to leave little awkward silence between so your date can pick the cue to shoot his/her questions as well, while minding the natural flow of conversation.

6. Don’t Pick Up Your Phone Even If The Temptation Is Super Strong

We live in a world where everyone is internet savvy and frantic. With the plethora of information crowding the internet, it is almost impossible to not get caught up in it all. From a quick glance at your Instagram feed to an adorable but lengthy YouTube video, the amount of information crowding the E-space can be overwhelmingly exciting, but you should never place that excitement over a first date. Never, ever, let your phone serve as a distraction on a first date.

Your date is probably internally yelling ‘you should be looking at my face, and not at that damn phone!’ While you’re unconsciously smirking at a new pair of fancy clothes you hope to get next summer. It is okay to admit that our phones can be a whole lot of distraction, and this distraction can come in subtle ways, from a “Do you mind if I take this call, I won’t be that long?” To the desire to update yourself on social media.

Truth is, your date may take this on a wrong note. He/she may think that you’re probably not interested anymore, or that you don’t find the conversation to be worth your time, hence you need a distraction. Trying to be mindful of your date’s thoughts and actions will go a long way to improving your actions next time.

7. Don’t Try To Get Drunk

Drinking too much or trying to get her drunk is definitely not the best idea for a first date. Unless this is a mutual decision, drinking too hard can cause a lot of disaster for both parties. You definitely don’t want your first date to be the last one with him/her, do you?

8. Don’t Be Rude And Impolite

Whether to the waiter, driver, bar attendant, or anyone else within reach, trying to be of your best behavior will indeed add up in the long run. You must remember that nobody wants to date a rude asshole. Your date is watching your every move, and being genuinely courteous to people can help you get quick approval even before the conversation starts.

Everyone loves charming and charismatic people. If you fall short on all of these, you’d have to work on yourself before the date.

9. Do Not Talk About Your Salary

Whether you’re trying to fling a casual brag, or just feel it is necessary to somehow catch your date’s attention with the amount of money you earn, you’re in the wrong.

While it is best to go with the flow of the conversation as there are no rules to engagement based on individual perception, it is best known that serious and more pressing matters should never be prepared for the first date.

It is okay to discuss your finances with your date. In this way, it would appear that both parties have established and set aside boundaries of trust to discuss such delicate matters.

10. Do Not Look Everywhere Else But His/Her Face

It is totally okay to be nervous, but when you are still fidgeting and avoiding gazes through the entire conversation, it begins to put a question on your self-esteem and trust. People appreciate individuals that maintain a steady eye gaze or contact from time to time during conversations, it shows that you can be relied on, and you are efficient and trustworthy.

Only dishonest people look away when they’re being spoken to or try to avoid eye contact.

For the guys, please avoid looking at her boobs, her lips, or even a lady walking by the next table. It is rude and plain right disrespectful.

11. Don’t Force It!!!

If it’s not working, it’s not working. You can both save yourself the extra effort and work away early enough.

12. Don’t Talk About Your Debts, Loans, Or Money Issues

Nobody wants an extra burden, even if you’re currently in the middle of working it out. Avoiding such intense financial talks on a first date will help pave the way for another date.

It is okay, to be honest about your situation at all times, but talking about financial burdens on a first date may make you come off as desperate and in need. Which in other words, may not be the choicest first impression to leave behind.

Other Things You Should Totally Avoid Saying

• I think I love you.
• You’re too beautiful to be single.
• You’re not exactly my type, but you’d do.
• I’m still in love with my ex.
• I’ve got a lot of money issues.
• My ex /last relationship was crazy.
• I really want to get married.
• You look like a wifey material.
• I think feminism is okay if women just learn to stay in their place while they’re at it.
• I think all men are scum.

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