Blood Ties

The moon danced along with our sweaty bodies as we shouted the words “swala la la”. Four different bodies, different shades of black appearing as one, swaying side to side over steaming pots and the loud music box. “This is Life”, I thought. “This is family”.

The sound of laughter and screams reverberated in the entire house, causing my father to stomp into the kitchen to quiet us down. He failed though because even though the music box was taken out, the melody we danced to wasn’t from without but within. I looked around, proud of the family I got. It was indeed a very hot July night.

Father’s birthday was coming up yet we still didn’t know what to get him or how we would organize his birthday party. I turned to my elder sister to ask the obvious. “Yo Babe, what are we going to do about daddy’s birthday? It’s only two weeks away and he’s turning sixty. Sixty’s a big deal you know?” Mildly irritated at the fact that daddy stopped our indoor ‘clubhouse’, she snapped at me for calling her babe when I had been corrected not to, so many times.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I am not your ‘babe’?. Don’t call me that again ok? If you keep calling me that Lulu and Anyi will start too and you won’t be able to stop them or caution them because you set the example for them to follow. They watch you, these kids, she said pointing at my two younger siblings. So give them something good to watch and learn okay?”

She waited for a reply from me but she got none. I was still pouting because she didn’t want me to call her babe. When she saw that I wasn’t going to talk to her, she decided to go back to the birthday topic. “And yes, I know that the old man’s birthday is really close. We’ll figure something out before then, okay Squirt?” Then as an afterthought, she fumbled with my neatly packed bun knowing I would jokingly get mad at her for scattering my hair.

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Big sis was a goddess amongst men to me. I didn’t know how or why but being around her, calling her ‘babe’, had a funny way of calming me and making me really happy. At times I would intentionally annoy her just so she could get mad at me, then I would pretend to be angry myself so she would spoil me. Those moments were priceless for me.

I remember one time when I was twelve and Babe came to rescue me. I was one of those overfed ‘Agric fowls’ that appeared overdeveloped for her age. It was very embarrassing for me to start wearing a bra in primary school because my breasts had “grown too big to wear the only camisole under my clothes.”

Mrs. Olutayo had dropped by our house to announce and invite the entire family to her daughter’s wedding which was to take place in a few months. She always came with chocolates so when I heard she was around, I ran to her car to greet her, my innocent breasts praising God in my race.

She watched me run all the way to meet her, hugged me, and then she stopped smiling to chide me. “Oma, why did your mother leave you to be playing around like this? Can’t she see that you are no longer a baby? These things on your chest (she said, pressing the limes on my chest) require a bra. You are old enough to start using a bra oh. I must tell your mother. Where is she by the way?” I pointed into the compound and muttered in a small voice, feeling utterly embarrassed in the white camisole that I had worn under my school uniform that day.

“She’s in the kitchen ma. She has been expecting you.” She nodded and sauntered into the compound, vanishing through the door leading into the kitchen.

Ever since that day, I became conscious of my body. Many things I hadn’t noticed before then started becoming more obvious. As of then, I had started wearing a ‘B’ cup bra. I was like a swan among geese. Walking through the school halls or cafeteria was no mean feat. I would get whistles wherever I walked into. At thirteen, I was sporting a ‘C’ cup bra. Some of Babe’s friends didn’t even dare try my bra on. As at 15? Let’s just say I was forcing my watermelons into a ‘D’ cup. I’ll just stop there, I’m not ready to remember sad stories.

Anyway, back to when I was twelve and freshly sporting a ‘C’ cup bra. I was in junior high and it was our sports week. I had to change because embarrassing as it was, I was an amazing runner. My bust size discouraged me from trying out to join the school’s track team but Babe was able to convince me to look past it and not hide my gift. I listened. I’m grateful to date.

I was changing from my tracksuit back into my house clothes as we were allowed to wear them during our sports week. I was just about to pull my t-shirt down to leave when I felt something cold on my left breast. My t-shirt was still covering my face and my hands still stuck midair. I was completely defenseless against the violator. I tried to get my hands down to stop the assault but something else seemed to be keeping my hands chained above me. I tried screaming but another cold, sweaty hand literally put a sock in it. I tasted the stink of the sock and drank the sweat from his palm or was it the sock?

The assault continued, the perpetrator drinking his fill. I could feel my juicy oranges getting dry. I felt empty. They appeared to be making rounds with me, I couldn’t even shout. I just wanted to go home and sleep. One even went as far as touching me and asking others if they should go further. Excited, the others were about to bark their replies when Babe walked in.

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“Oma, what are you still doing here? All your friends have gone home and we’re tired of waiting for…. What the hell do you degenerates think you’re doing to my baby sister??! And in a flash, I felt all the sweaty hands on my body disappear. Loud thuds sounded consecutive and a scream of ” we’re sorry, we won’t do it again” warmed my hands. I jerked slightly when I felt another touch on my shoulder. This one wasn’t cold or sweaty, it was warm, dry, and tender. I felt an indescribable desire to crumble into this touch. “Oma, I’m so sorry I left you alone to go through all that.” I had never been happier to hear her voice.

I collapsed completely into her arms and let out all the pent up emotions I had bottled up while I was being harassed. I shivered visibly and we stayed there on the floor for half an hour. I had stopped crying but I was still trembling. The fear I felt was unlike any I had ever known. “What if I had gotten raped? What if I had lost my virginity to those bastards?” The thought alone had me shivering all over again.

“Sshhh Sshhh… there baby. It’s alright, you’re alright. No need to fear, big sis is here. I’ll always take care of you and protect you.” I had held on to those words fiercely ever since, which is why no matter how many times she snaps at me, I’ll always run back to her.

I’m eighteen now but I’m more confused than ever. My emotions are all over the place and what I feel for Babe seems to have evolved beyond sibling adoration, I was legit jealous of her fiance. No doubt he’s good looking, super smart, rich, and fun to be around. Sure he’s a perfect gentleman, tall, well mannered, and humble. Still, I feel he isn’t good enough for Babe. Hell, no guy is.

“Oma, what dress do you think will look better on me for tonight’s dinner? You know it’s a fancy hotel on the island. I have to look the part.” There she was in her changing room, an army green low cleavage dress in one hand, on the other, a baby blue cotton dress that looked so soft you could melt into it. They would both look phenomenal on her. She had the perfect skin color and physique to look amazing in any dress you threw her way.

She had already tried both dresses on. The army green made her look dangerous and completely sexy. “No way I’m letting him see you in that.” I thought to myself. The baby blue dress made her look super cute, you just want to go all *”kawaii desu” when you look at her. “Not this one either. He might just push their wedding date forward so he can take her away from me sooner than my heart can handle…” I continued my internal monologue until I noticed she had been staring expectantly at me, obviously waiting for a response to her question.

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She jumped on the bed to join me, laughing ever so beautifully. How one person could be so beautiful, I had to wonder. She was in a matching lace bra and thongs. The sight was delicious and I swallowed hard at certain strange thoughts that were already starting to foreplay in my mind. “You look perfect right now” I mumbled. “Uh? What did you say? Which is better?” She was getting impatient, there was still hair and makeup to be done. “Go in the blue dress. It’s screaming kawaii at me.” We both laughed and she put the army green dress back in the gowns segment of her wardrobe.

Two hours later they were both ready to leave the house. Babe got into his car and they set out on their date. I was in the worst mood ever, I couldn’t stop thinking about how hungrily his eyes rove about her body. “He might as well strip her right there in front of us, the bastard.

Ok, fine, I’m overreacting, and maybe exaggerating but I shouldn’t have allowed her to wear the cute dress to go out with him. Why didn’t I just convince her to wear the palazzo and button-up shirt?” Then as an afterthought, “Nah… Babe would never wear that to a dinner date. She’s much too refined and fashions forward.”

The beeping of my phone drew my attention to my boyfriend’s call. “Not now Josh. I’m not in the mood to pretend. It’s mask off till tomorrow bro.” I waited for hours but babe didn’t show up at the door. I stayed up all night and slept off in the morning to wake up in the afternoon, but there were no signs of Babe in or around the house. I had to do some research, so I opted to ask my younger siblings.

“Anyi, Lulu.” No response from them as I expected. They always turned deaf when they were watching *anime. “Ifeanyi! Oluchi!” This time I got a response, their chorus was loud enough to be heard outside the house. “Ma?!” Then they ran to my side and waited impatiently for me to ask them whatever it was I wanted to ask them so I could release them to go back to their *’Seven Deadly Sins’.

“Has Babe come home since yesterday when they went out?” You could see the worry dripping off each word as I blurted them out. “Aunty Chinaza has not come back home since yesterday, Aunty Ufuoma…” “You mean Babe, I mean Naza, hasn’t come back home since yesterday?” Angry at her big sister but still wanting to be a good girl, she remembered that she was especially warned against calling her ‘Babe’ in front of the twins.

As if being summoned, Babe appeared from being me. “Boo! What’s with the tension here guys?” Her voice brought out so many mixed emotions within me in the split seconds she used to announce her arrival. I was torn between fright, joy, and anger. I turned round sharply and jumped on her, arms wide open. Our hug had never been as warm as it felt that moment. I started crying softly “Why didn’t you come back home yesterday? I was so worried, I thought something scary had happened to you. Don’t do that again. Ever.”

Confused but still too excited to fill me in on the previous day’s events, she put her hands on my shoulders and pushed me out of her embrace to look straight at me. Her eyes seemed brighter, it was then I noticed that there was a fresh glow about her. She was glistening under the flood ray of light coming in from the window on the right. “She isn’t shining right now, she is the Sun herself.” I thought to myself. At that moment, all I wanted to do was pull her into me and plant a kiss on her rosy lips. I was still thinking about so many things I wanted to do to her when I heard her persistent voice force its way into my mind.

“Oma! I’ve been talking to you since, where are you spacing off to? I said I have deets for you. Yesterday was so amazing.” An inexplicable fear gripped my heart fiercely. “There are too many ‘Os’ in that ‘so’ Naza. What’s it about?” She was grinning from ear to ear.

I needed to ask her what it was about or she would lose interest and not tell me anymore. “Well… we can’t be having this gist here with the kids. Let’s go into my room. Where’s dad?” The twins replied and informed both of us that he went to the mall to get some items for a small get together, which would be his birthday. They also added that we needn’t worry about him getting angry about Naza not coming home, as he mentioned that he felt rest assured she was in perfect hands when he heard Naza had gone out with Emmanuel. She giggled and blushed, I rolled my eyes, then she dragged us to her room and locked the door behind us.

“Girl, you won’t believe what happened yesterday.”

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She said the “girl” with an African-American accent that made her roll her tongue so seductively I just wanted to reach out to bite it, but of course, I stayed glued to my seat.

“Stop dilly-dallying about the story and just tell me already. I have like a zillion messages to reply from Josh who has been worried sick thinking something bad happened to me because I had to sleep all day, thanks to someone that kept me on my toes all through the night with worry.” Too excited to have her mood beaten down she gave me a slight nudge and said,

“Hey now, don’t pin that on me. I didn’t know I was going to a sleepover with him when I was setting out. It was unplanned, honest.” Still upset about her betrayal, I continued my chiding.

“You know ever since mom died you have been our mom. Dad adores you and his entire will for survival is seeing all four of us girls get married to men he likes, and he likes Manuel alright. He wouldn’t complain about you sleeping over but I will, in fact, I am. It wasn’t cool sis.”

She paused, looked at me, and then continued her gist with the wave of a hand as if to dismiss everything I had just said. “Abegi… forget all that one now. I’ve heard you, now let’s get back to my gist. I did it Oma, I did it yesterday.” She paused for dramatic effect to allow her words to sink into my mind. I knew what she was trying to say but my mind refused to allow me to comprehend it.

“What do you mean you did it? It better not be what I’m thinking it is Babe. How could you? Is this the kinda example you’re setting for the twins and me? What happened to wait until your wedding night? How could you be so shameless?! You disgust me!” I half expected it so I wasn’t very surprised when I saw her palm resting on my left cheek. I heard the slap before I felt it. It created the effect she wanted as I became calm and quiet, I was ready to listen. The tears flowing down her cheeks quietly grabbed my attention and I resisted the strong urge to reach out to wipe them off.

She went on to tell me how it had all happened. They had ordered a very expensive wine that got them drunk. He decided it was not safe to drive home and they decided to lodge in for the night. They were supposed to just lie in bed and sleep naked till the next day like they always did but she touched his member and he returned the handshake. Moments later, he was entwined within her legs ready to move in. He had even asked for permission thrice before she gave in. She blamed the drink, I said she wanted it.

I sat in front of her, legs crossed in a meditation stance. I was indeed meditating. A lot had been said, much more had been heard. ‘Livid’ paled in the description of the emotion I felt while she was talking. “That bastard! I’m going to get him for this. He used you, took advantage of you. I shouldn’t have allowed you to go out with that foolish boy. He’s going to pay for this, promise. I swear on mom’s grave, I’ll make the fool pay!”

“Oma, calm down. Why are you so angry about it? Why are you riled up so? It’s my body, you know? I choose to do whatever I want with it. Just so you know I don’t regret it. I’ve never been happier. I was going to tell you the details but you don’t seem up for it. Leave my room. Now!”

I could see that she was tearing up. Babe was too soft, too delicate, too sweet and gullible for this world. I don’t know where I got the courage from but I confessed.

“You know why I’m this way? You made me this way! You made me fall in love with you and now I feel filthy about myself. Do you know how difficult it has been singing in the choir, knowing full well that I am not only homosexual but also committing incest? I love you, Babe!” She was dumbfounded for a few seconds but she quickly caught herself back. She tried to push a bit, “you mean you love me as your big sis yeah?”

“No. I’m in love with you Chinaza.” The look of dumbfoundedness on her said it all. I knew I had fucked up big time, so I ran out of her room.

A week later it was my father’s birthday. That morning after singing his ‘happy birthday song’ as a family, Emmanuel came over to the house to join us decorate and arrange everywhere for the small get-together dad wanted to have. I shot daggers while dad sang his praises and Babe blushed. “A few hours more….”

I followed Babe everywhere that day and executed my plan a few hours before the party. Just as the MC picked up the mic to speak, he fell and started convulsing. As if on cue, Babe fell too and followed suit. I was still trying to figure out why she was convulsing when I felt my body lose its balance and the white, foamy substance poured out. It was while I was on the floor that I understood what had happened.

I had poisoned Manuel’s punch and handed him the glass to “clear his throat” before he started the MC work that evening. Apparently, Babe must have gone over to take ‘one sip’ like she liked to call it. Mum had always warned her that it would put her into trouble one day. This was the day she prophesied about.

“But I? How come I’m on the floor? Then I remembered I had stolen my first kiss from her that night before the party started. She had waved it off as nothing and warned me never to try it again. I thought I had gotten off the hook but I guess what goes around really comes around.”

My final thoughts we’re getting hazy. Everything seemed to be disappearing bit by bit in a blur. Before total darkness, I heard a loud noise and a chorus of shouts. People had gathered around my father, someone said “He’s gone, he didn’t make it.” Then I slept off.