Disadvantages of Unwanted Pregnancy

Unwanted pregnancies which could also be referred to as ‘unintended pregnancies’, according to Wikipedia, “are pregnancies that are mistimed, unplanned or unwanted at the time of conception.” Now hold on. I know the word ‘unwanted pregnancy’ is usually associated with single and unmarried ladies but no! It shouldn’t be. A pregnancy could also be unwanted in a marriage. A healthy marriage at that.

Imagine Mr. and Mrs. A have six children already on a ₦100,000.00 salary and boom! Mrs. A announces a seventh pregnancy. At that point, not everybody is smiling at the news. That’s if anybody even smiles. Now while it is more prevalent among single unmarried women, the situation of an unwanted pregnancy happens to most sexually active women.

While a beautiful smiling baby is always a gift and a privilege, one that must be cherished and adored, their ability to appear even when they are not called upon is sure to cause some stitches.

So here, we would be highlighting some of the disadvantages of an unwanted pregnancy. Buckle your seat belts and let’s go!

Decisions! Decisions!! Decisions!!!

Okay. You just discovered you’re pregnant and you’re freaking out. You don’t want to be pregnant, at least not at that particular time. After freaking out, you’re faced with a decision. There’s life growing inside of you, of which you’re made absolutely responsible. You sure cannot drop the pregnancy and run away. So what do you do? You are faced with three probable decisions – Parenting, Adoption or Abortion. Whatever decision you come to make will determine a lot of things. That is a lot of burden for someone who is not prepared.

You’re left with deciding the fate of another human being. You could decide to parent this beautiful child, ready to weather all the storms that may come your way. You could decide to give this child up for adoption immediately after birth so as to enable the child get a better life that you might not be able to offer the beautiful child. Your third and probably the most unsavory option is abortion. Would you be willing to get rid of your child? Tough decisions girl. Having to make this decision is a real chore, physically, financially and most especially, emotionally.

Emotional Trauma

Having to deal with something you were never prepared for is sure to affect you emotionally. There are a few things other people can do for a young woman who finds herself in this situation to ameliorate the pain physically, but when it comes to matters of the heart and soul, only the birth mother becomes responsible. Most times, this emotional trauma can be as a result of the suddenness of the news, the unpreparedness for the responsibility and so many other factors that may be peculiar to the pregnant woman at that time.

This is a great disadvantage as most times, we find these mothers falling into depression and suffering from other forms of emotional deficiencies. This depression can stem out of a feeling of disappointment and sadness at finding one’s self in such a situation. In the case of the unmarried woman, a feeling of hopelessness and despair might settle in her heart on discovering the news as she begins to feel that all hope is lost and she would never recover from the shame and heartbreak.

Physical Change

Most times, just a quick run to the market can take a toll on our strength and mood not to talk of carrying another human being for nine months. As beautiful as the experience is, pregnancy is physically demanding. It is easier when it is an experience you’ve been waiting so long for and as such, have made adequate preparations for when it happens, but when it comes so suddenly as is the case with an unwanted pregnancy, you’re left in a shock. Although your body will make the necessary adjustments and expansions, your mind is not ready for those adjustments and expansions and as such, everything goes haywire.

Once you cannot find motivation to do anything, you let your body go and then start to notice some unpleasant changes to your physique which would only serve as a source of discomfort and anger. Some pregnant women suffer from swollen feet all through the nine months, some of them suddenly start sprouting ginormous stretch marks in crazy places while others just stay bloated all through. Whatever yours is, the point is no pregnant woman goes scot-free. You must leave with something. A lasting reminder of the pregnancy you never wanted.

Societal Stigma

This is usually the case with young and unmarried women. According to societal dictates, a child should be born in wedlock, with the father and mother present to attend to the child’s every need and when anything contrary seems to be the case, the society fights back. It is this antagony from the society that the unmarried pregnant woman faces. It might not always be an open confrontation. In some cases, it is a silent disapproval with knowing looks and hurtful innuendos. A deliberate excommunication from activities one would usually be a part of.

For example, there are organizations that may never employ you once they find out that you are pregnant and worse, if they find out that you are an unmarried pregnant woman. In a situation where the father of your child becomes missing in action and you are ready to move on to other prospects, you find out that you are not as desirable in the dating market as you used to be. This is because most men wouldn’t want to get into a relationship or have any form of intimacy with a pregnant woman or one who already has one or more children. This is a major disadvantage as it makes one feel like a social leper.

Financial Constraints

Raising a child is not a day’s job. It’s not a year’s job either. It’s a lifelong commitment and this commitment requires money. Most times, the reason why married couples would declare a pregnancy unwanted is because of the financial constraints they might be facing at that particular point in time. Hence, they are put in a tight corner where they have to think of the probability of the child’s survival if it ever sees the light of day.

In the case of a young unmarried couple, a baby would definitely be an unwelcome addition to the responsibilities and expenses of the couple. Not only unwelcome but frightening, when they start to think of the cost of baby diapers, baby food, medicines, baby clothes and the mother’s postnatal needs. The horror!

Career

Contrary to what used to be the norm where women were no more than housekeepers and homeowners, women are now very much interested in pursuing a career. Being educated and well-qualified, they naturally would like to utilize their talents in a productive way. They would like to take up challenging jobs along with men and prove that they are no less in many ways from them. When a baby comes into a woman’s life, everything else is put on hold. Hence, an unwanted pregnancy proves to be a heavy burden for her to cope with.

Carrying a baby requires utmost care and consideration on the part of the mother. She would no longer be able to skip breakfast in a bid to catch up with an important meeting. She would no longer be able to remain on her feet for long periods of time as is required of most career-driven people. Basically, everything must be on hold so as not to endanger the health of both the mother and the child. For such an experience that has the ability to alter a person’s life and turn it around 360 degrees, adequate planning would be wise so it doesn’t stunt the success of the career mother.

Health Risks for the Baby

Now, let’s paint an image in our minds. You’re a workaholic all day, every day. The only thing that keeps you on your feet and helps you stay awake is generous amounts of Coffee, spiked with Vodka. Every morning and before you go to sleep at night. It’s been working for you too. Occasionally, you take a stick of cigarette just to let off steam, when you’re out with your colleagues.

Unknown to you, while you continue to indulge yourself in these practices, you have a child growing inside you. Now, how did that make you feel? That is one major issue with having an unwanted pregnancy. Since you don’t expect it, you’re not looking out for it. You’ve failed to notice the changes in your body and so, life goes on as usual. And as life goes on as usual, your child suffers from some unhealthy practices you might choose to indulge in. By the time you find out that you’re actually pregnant, certain damages have been done to the fetus.

While some damages may be repairable, others might not. Imagine having to live with that guilt for the rest of your life. Tough.

Moral and Ethical Complication

This is more prevalent in African communities where the thought of pregnancy outside wedlock is mostly frowned upon. Not only in African communities is this prevalent, but also in religious communities. Living in a society such as this which frowns upon children outside of wedlock, the situation of an unintended pregnancy is a nightmare. Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s only the society that gets to frown at this.

As a person who has certain moral or ethical standards, you might feel disappointed with yourself for getting pregnant. Not only disappointed, you might actually feel like you have let a lot of people down especially those within your circle who used to hold you in high esteem. This is usually the case in religious communities or settlements. In most religions, especially Christianity, premarital sex which is the most common precursor to an unwanted pregnancy is not only frowned upon but it’s an abomination.

In a situation where as an unmarried young woman, your baby bump begins to show, the whole religious community is thrown into chaos. Meetings upon meetings, deliberations upon deliberations will therefore be conducted concerning your case. Some extremists will even suggest excommunication from such religious communities.

Life Goals Put on Hold

Like we have continuously emphasized, a baby is not just a pleasant distraction. It’s not a project you can just embark on for a little while and then move on with your life. A baby demands utmost attention and care. This is why when a baby comes into a couple’s life, everything else is put on hold, hence the many preparations a family expecting a child makes. But when this pregnancy comes as a surprise, all hell breaks loose.

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Since there had been no prior preparation for the coming of the child, all plans are put on hold in order to adequately handle the addition of a new member to the family. Most times, these plans that are put on hold are either short term or long term goals and usually, it’s the child’s mother who ends up making these sacrifices because it is she who carries the child.

A Broken Home and Relationship

Mr. X and Mrs. X have been married for eighteen years. Within the span of these eighteen years, they’ve had ten children. Mr. X is a contractor and as such, he doesn’t always have money readily available. Mrs. X runs a small convenience store. Bottom line is that even feeding themselves twice in a day is a struggle. Suddenly, Mrs. X announces that she’s pregnant again even after they have agreed not to have more children. Unfortunately, she forgot to take her contraceptives, hence the pregnancy.

Mr. X feels broken as he is torn between getting rid of his own blood and bringing the child into the world to suffer. This situation will definitely create some kind of tension in the family. Communication will be strained and it will take a while for the relationship to go back to normal, whatever decision they decide to take. This is what an unwanted pregnancy could do to a family that is not expecting it.

In a situation where this unwanted pregnancy happens in the life of a single unmarried woman, the incident might cause a strain in the woman’s family. For example, she might have people on her side, supporting her and encouraging her every step while there would also be those opposing her every move, contesting and discouraging her. This situation would definitely lead to a divide in the woman’s family.

A broken relationship is usually found in cases of teenage pregnancy. In this situation, the young relationship between both parties is broken up once a child comes into the picture. This is because a child is usually never part of the plan of a young relationship between teenagers, so when a child comes into the picture, the relationship starts to lose its flavor.

In some cases, as soon as the pregnant teen announces the news of the pregnancy to her partner, he disappears. Feelings of fear and inadequacy starts to creep in, making the young gentleman flee from responsibility, leaving the young lady with a burden on her shoulders. At that point, not a lot of blame is put on the young man as this sort of action is expected of a person who has not reached a certain level of maturity and wisdom.

Parenting Struggles

It is a known fact that raising a child is not a single person’s responsibility. It is the responsibility of two people, the mother and father. In most African areas of settlement, raising a child is not only the job or obligation of the biological or adoptive mother and father of a child, it is also the responsibility of an entire community. Especially the community where the child is born in. Regardless of this fact, the core responsibility still lies on the mother and father of this child.

Parenting, as was earlier mentioned is a very serious task and as such, should be treated with all seriousness and commitment. This is why most parents prepare to be parents. They prepare themselves in all aspects. They make sure they have stable jobs, adequate living arrangements, a stable source of income and they even prepare themselves emotionally. They try to shed every weight that might stop them from being the absolute best to their children.

Just imagine all these preparations a person has to go through to be a parent and all of a sudden, a baby just pops up without none of these preparations in place! Imagine the horror. This is why they would find it hard to be the best they could be. They would find it hard to be the best parents they could be. There’s nothing as painful as knowing you can and need to actually do more but because there isn’t enough time as is the case with unwanted pregnancies, you’re unable to fully deliver to your best capacity.

Now, let’s not get it twisted. A baby is an absolute blessing, through and through. But this blessing will be best enjoyed when you actually want it. If you don’t want a baby yet and you don’t want to put a hold to your sexual activities, there are several ways you can achieve that. Make contraceptives your friend. Don’t let anyone dim your glow girl!!