4 Tips On How To Ask A Man Out And Not Seem Like You’re Easy
A lot of women would agree that asking a man out is not as easy as ABC. On the contrary, it is a process that requires a lot of planning and bravado. You can just walk up to a man and ask him out but are you ready for the consequences? Luckily, there is a foolproof method of asking a man out with the risk of getting a “no” reduced to almost zero. I will get you in on that later.
Before we start talking about how to ask a man out and not seem like you’re easy, let us discuss the pros and cons of asking a man out. It is true that civilization and the gradual evolution of societal roles have caused the shift that now makes it possible for women to ask men out. We all appreciate that but how many women are really bold enough to go ahead with it? Personally, I believe it is quite scary.
We also can’t deny how lucky we are. In the olden days, a lot of women would have led happier lives if only they had been able to ask the man of their dreams out. Still, we can all agree that even though you’ve bought an appliance, it is wise to read the user’s manual before pressing the power button.
Let’s look at this list of pros and cons like a user’s manual. If you’re in love with a guy who doesn’t know you exist and you are on your way to changing that then this article is for you. If you’re thinking of starting a new relationship on a different footing(in this case, you’ll be the one doing the asking) then this article is for you. If you’re thinking of asking your boyfriend to marry you, then you really need to read this. What are the pros and cons of asking a man out?
Here’s a little disclaimer: In this article, I’ll be describing men in the extremes of character (good or bad). It might seem a little unrealistic and some of you would think Nah, a man can’t be that bad or Nah, a man can’t be that good but it is all for the best, trust me.
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Pros And Cons Of Asking A Man Out
Pros
He Will Respect You
Oh yeah. A man knows how hard it is to summon the courage and tell a girl he wants her in his life. He will respect the sacrifice you made and the risk you took when you damned all consequences and walked up to him. Chances are he’ll treat you like a queen for the duration of your relationship or till death do you part.
He Will Be Confident In Your Love For Him
Men might just be the most insecure species on the planet. There’s nothing you’re going to tell a man that could completely destroy all his insecurities but it would surprise you how far asking him out will go in convincing him that he has a stable place in your life. When a man feels secure in his relationship, he doesn’t mind going all out and he can do anything for his lady.
You Can Take A Leading Role In Your Relationship
If you’re the kind of woman who likes to be in control, then asking a man out would give you a nice little kick. In practice also, you might find that you’ll be at the forefront of “organizing” the relationship. By this I mean, you might be the one championing dates, the first person to say I love you, I miss you and the rest.
Don’t get scared. Lol. I am not saying it will happen. There’s a probability it won’t happen and that probability is dependent on a factor you’ll find in my how to ask a man out tips.
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He Is A Guaranteed Man Of Your Choice
This might just be the best part of asking a man out. You get to choose who you want and when you want him. He will be your spec, the man of your dreams. It will be different, you won’t have to say yes to a man’s proposal and then start having second thoughts later. You will definitely have made up your mind before the leap, canceling out that period of second thoughts and second-guessing that eats into time you should be using to enjoy your relationship.
Cons
The Attraction Might Not Last
Okay. This could definitely still happen if it’s the other way round but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t add it to the cons list. Before you go asking a man out, ask yourself if you’ve thought this through for long enough. Are you sure it is not just your hormones getting the better of you? Do you really want to be with this guy?
Also, if you’re just getting into it for the sex then you have to tell him that you don’t want a serious relationship. It is nice to be humane.
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He Might Be Dating Someone Else
Although this might not sound like a real con to you it is. If you just walk up to a guy and ask him out, chances are he might dump or cheat on someone else because of you. He might even be married!
“I was dating Catherine but when Ruby asked me out? I couldn’t resist”
Words from a guy who got asked out by a beautiful girl. I know some of us would say it is his responsibility to be responsible and say no. You will be right if you think so but you can’t deny that considering his relationship status is wise. Know the best part of this? I’ll be proffering a solution to this problem soon.
He Might Think You Are Easy Or Desperate
Sad but true. Many times, girls who ask guys out end up being labeled as cheap and easy. Chances are he will think you are desperate for love and attention and begin to treat you badly.
He Will Be Confident In Your Love For Him
You might be asking why this is both a pro and a con. The reason is this: when a man is confident in your love for him he might treat you better or worse, depending on his character. If he is not a good person, he might start taking advantage of you just because he thinks you cannot live without him.
He Might Get Ideas
Your man might wake up one day and begin to wonder if you go around asking other guys out in the same manner that you asked him. He might see you talking with some guy and begin to feel insecure. His insecurity would then lead him to act in an unacceptable manner which could cause the end of your relationship.
He Might Not Love You
He might never get around to loving you. He might just pity you and date you but he might never love you. Are you going to be okay when you realize that? Will you become angry and forget to be rational? If you know you won’t be able to stand the reality of his apathy towards you and walk out of the relationship then don’t bother asking him out.
You Might Get Your Heart Broken
We, women, are emotional creatures, we might be in a relationship just for the sex this moment and be hopelessly in love the next. If that is you then be careful who you ask out. Think carefully, will it be worth it in the end? How would you feel walking around with your heart in pieces? Will it affect your mental health?
It Will Be All Your Fault
It is important to know you’re taking on a huge responsibility when you walk up to a man and ask him to be yours. Are you ready to make sure the relationship works? Are you ready to take the blame if it doesn’t work out?
How will you feel if he tells you “It is all your fault, you shouldn’t have asked me out” at the end?
Okay. That’s all said and done. I can almost see the wheels turning in your head as you begin to understand the seriousness of your decision. I’ve got good news for you. As terrible as those disadvantages may seem, their solutions are easy. Just follow the tips outlined below and you can’t go wrong.
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How To Ask A Man Out And Not Seem Like You’re Easy
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Get to know him first/Friendship
This tip would save you from a whole lot of embarrassment. It would save you from heartbreak, it would help you know if the guy you are interested in is dating someone else. It might even help you realize that it is just an attraction and you really don’t want to date him.
Getting to know a man before asking him out would also help you know what he likes and what he doesn’t like so you can make your proposal count. You will also have an understanding of what his perception of you will be if you ask him out.
2. Find out if he is attracted to you/Interested in a Relationship
Most times, the friendship period helps you know if he is attracted to you or not. Most likely, if he is attracted to you, he might propose. If he isn’t, you can very well take the risk and go ahead but that’s not advisable.
It is easy to know if a guy is attracted to you. Knowing if he loves you is another matter. Lol. If he is attracted to you, he will do the following things:
- Stare at you a lot
- Compliment you
- Talk to you a lot
- Always want to spend time with you
- He might be nervous around you
- He will try to impress you
- Try to kiss you(optional)
Piece of advice for my ladies, please and please. If you know you want to date this guy because you love him and want to spend some (or all) of your life with him, then having sex with him before clarifying that is not a good idea. The best thing to do is explained in the next tip.
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3. Tell Him What You Want
Be definite about what you want. Be it sex or love, this is the time to tell him how you want it to go.
“I want us to be together forever”
“I have a deep sexual attraction for you, do you mind warming my bed for three months?”
The above examples may sound ridiculous but at least you have an idea of how definite I expect you to be. Guys like it when you’re straight forward. Ignore your female instinct to beat around the bush or speak in parables and just say it as it is. Thank me later.
4. Try Not To Trivialize The Moment
Say it as you mean it. Don’t smile or try to be coy. Haven’t you noticed? Guys don’t do that, even if he just wants to bang you, he will still look so earnest when he tells you he is in love. I know cracking jokes might help ease your nerves but you really can’t use that option.
The simple reason being that he is bound to think it is all a game to you and you’re playing with him. You can go all out, prepare a romantic dinner with candles and rose petals. You can scream it out in the middle of a mall (be careful not to get arrested). You’re free to do anything, conservative or crazy within the confines of the law just to make that man feel special.
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Taking A Man Out/The First Date
We women are so used to guys making the decisions for us when it comes to a choice of where to hang out, where to have lunch and dinner, that it is difficult for us to make up our mind when the tables are turned and we’re now in their position. Before you walk up to a man, you have to be sure about where you want to hang out with him in case you ask him out and he says yes.
What if he says he’ll go wherever you choose and you’re faced with the decision of where to go? Do you want to stand there moping like an idiot or choose someplace you’ll later regret choosing?
Could we go out somewhere? It is a nice question but you need to have some places in mind. Here are some things you could do to get the ‘where to go on the first date’ difficulty out of the way.
Pre-asking Out
- Make a list of places you think he would like
- Try to weasel it out of him in a conversation
- Make a list of places you know are of popular interest.
This is why you need to get to know the guy you are asking out. Would he prefer movies or a walk in the park? Would he prefer lunch to dinner because he closes really late from work? These things would help you prepare your list.
Post-asking Out
- Ask about his schedule and use your pre-asking out list to suggest a place
- Ask him where he wants to go and if he has no idea, suggest places of popular interest that you think he would enjoy.
Note: If he doesn’t have any ideas on where to hang out and keeps turning down all your suggestions then you might have to step back and reconsider if he really likes you. Do not make the mistake of forcing his hand by yelling or bursting into tears. Relationships are sweeter when both parties are emotionally invested.
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Conclusion
Remember, asking a man out is not something you do without planning. Take time and get to know him, in the end, you will be grateful you waited. Relationships are sweeter if love is mutual so make up your mind to only be with someone who loves and respects you. Be definite about what you want from your relationship and most importantly take your man seriously.
Everything I’ve been saying would seem incomplete if I do not tell you how special you are. You’re not the average woman, rather you’re beautiful, sexy and bold. That man you want so bad would be more than lucky to have you as his girlfriend/wife. All you have to do is show him how much he needs you. Good luck!!!
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