4 Tips On Finding Mr Right: The Caved Path
The relationships in a woman’s life affect who she is and who she becomes. Everyone wants to know the 4 tips on finding Mr right. I’m sure you do too. Imagine a world where every woman is happy in their relationships, that world would certainly be a world of peace and wealth. A real-life El Dorado.
Before that happens, when you have the right man by your side, who cares about all the conflict in the world? Lol. Consider this article a lovely treat to help you catch the Mr. Right who has been eluding for a while now.
Any woman who wants to be happy in her relationship must find for herself a man who makes her happy. Even the best dating sites you know cannot ensure you get the man of your dreams. That task is for you and you alone.
By that, I mean the entire task. The specifications, the actual search and then the dates/relationship that will follow. Many women out there are wondering when they will “get lucky” and find that man who has all they need.
I have to break it to you, there’s little luck involved in the whole affair. Do you envy the women you see walking around with their true love in their arms? They had to put in the effort, some a lot, others a little, until they got to experience the bliss they currently enjoy. It is taxing but you’re lucky to have me.
I’ll be helping you with some quick and easy tips on how to get that man you really need to make you happy.
Don’t Be Desperate
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Whether you have just jumped out of a terrible relationship or you have been sitting on the shelf for a while, you need to know that while searching for Mr. Right, you have to be cool about it. Acting desperate will just make you seem like a lonely woman with low self esteem.
A beautiful woman like yourself should be able to behave in a way that is not proud or snobbish but dignified enough to let your prospective man know he’ll be lucky to have you.
At a time, a friend of mine was so desperate to get a boyfriend she would be thirty minutes early for dates. She thought that would make a statement to the guys and make them know how invested she was in starting a new relationship. At the end of the whole charade, her “fishing net” caught a man who treated her badly and took her for granted.
Desperation makes us make bad decisions and choices, which is what you want to avoid if your aim is “the right man”. Breathe deeply, relax. I know you are eager to finally stop sleeping alone at night or going to that family dinner without your own man. When you feel that familiar urgency, remember that it is not how quickly you get the man that matters but how good that man would be to you in the long run.
One great way to kill desperation is to take deep breaths and keep telling yourself that if this doesn’t work out, another will. Also, remind yourself that the right man for you is somewhere out there waiting and you’re not going to give up until you find him. When you know your destination, it is easier to keep your eyes on the road.
Be Yourself
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When you notice a man is getting really close to you and you perceive that he might be the one, the first thing you have to do is show him the real you. The real you include both the good and bad sides. I’m not saying you should shove all your bullshit at him.
For example, you have anger issues and you just start yelling at him and throwing things around because you want to see if he can take it. My dear girl you’re going to lose if you do that. Nobody is going to take that kind of attitude from you (except your mom and that is only when she’s in a good mood).
I’m saying, don’t go buying dresses and jewelry more expensive than your rent just to impress him. He smokes, don’t say you do too when in actual fact you don’t smoke because you hate it or it probably isn’t good for you. You’re conservative, don’t tell him false tales of how you defied this norm and that norm.
If you don’t want to have a tattoo or travel around the world, you don’t have to do it because he says he wants to. Don’t cut your hair because he likes women with short hair. It shouldn’t be that way.
Most of the relationships built on falsehood end quickly. What if yours doesn’t? What if you get married to him? How long are you going to lie to him and your kids? How long before you get tired? What happens when he discovers you aren’t the woman he thought he married/loved? What will you do or say?
The only way to eliminate these “what ifs” is to be yourself. Be comfortable in your own skin. That’s how you get the right man. Any man you get from changing your core values and principles, those that are right, those you upheld for many years before you met him, the values of being an independent woman, a good person and all that, etc, will cause you regret someday.
It will not be his fault. Actually, it’ll be all your fault. And I’m going to be crying where I am too because I spent all that time giving you solid advice and you wasted it.
Don’t Settle: Know What You Want
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In relationships, there’s no “one size fits all”. Everyone has their needs, desires, and preferences. Regardless, some men are so handsome they confuse you. Others are so kind and well, not so good looking.
If you want a handsome man who is kind, do not settle for a handsome man with a bad attitude in hopes that someday he will change and become your dream man. Do not settle for a kind man in hopes that his ugliness will somehow be blotted out with time. Don’t joke with yourself.
Sometimes, you might want to get with a nice looking man who has a nice job, charisma and all just to impress your friends. While you know in your heart that your ideal man is the quiet and bookish man who will likely be the butt of your friends’ jokes if you bring him around. Lol. Be a big girl and get over it. He will be your man, not theirs. The bottom line is being with a man who fits your needs.
Is there a man your mother wants you to be with? If this man is someone you do not love or want anywhere near you, then you have to stand your ground and say NO to your mother. Remember, your life is about YOU. When you find a man you believe might be The One, take out time, talk to him about your dreams and see if he has similar dreams of his own.
Is he a family man, does he want kids? How is his temperament? Can he afford the kind of lifestyle you want to live? I bet if every couple out there asked, gave and received honest answers to questions like this, there would be fewer failed marriages and relationships.
What if you don’t know what you want? The best thing for you to do is start the process of discovering yourself. We don’t want you waking up in your “new body” in the middle of a marriage, or after a night of hard romping. Imagine how disastrous that would be, you might even break the poor man’s heart. Remember, when in doubt, stay without.
Look Around You For The 4 Tips on Finding Mr Right
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There is an African proverb that says Do not search for something in Sôkótó when you have it in your śökötö. It simply means that you should not go far away to search for something that is near and available to you.
Have you considered the possibility that someone near you might be your Mr. Right? Someone who knows a lot about you but still loves you. Someone you must have already unconsciously disqualified from the game.
Is it too much to ask that you look around you? There might be someone there on the sidelines, waving a heart shaped flag and just begging to be noticed by you. Lol. Some of these men have more love to give than that fairy tale man you dream of all the time. Give him a chance and see where it takes you. Just be careful not to ruin a perfectly good friendship or assume someone is interested in you when he isn’t.
This person might be your best friend, someone who lives in the same apartment building with you. Your neighbor, your coworker or your old school mate. When searching for The One, don’t write anybody off. Anyone of those men could be your forever. Don’t say you don’t want forever. Everyone wants forever at some point in their lives. Some of us are just not brave enough to admit it.
Conclusion
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Finding a man is beautiful but what about keeping him? Some women mess up perfectly good relationships because of trust issues they carried over from previous failed relationships. We know the last man broke your heart, but you shouldn’t make this one pay for his mistakes.
So shake off the vestiges of your relationship past and forge ahead into the El Dorado that has been promised. Be sure to drag your man with you and hold him tightly ok? so neither of you will get lost in the milieu of life. Best of Luck!
She's a beauty and an exquisite lady who enjoys the high life in writing and poetry. Her writing style and prowess is innovative and focuses on the feminine perspective, bringing nothing but wholesome gratification to the African, Afrocentric and Afro-American women at large