How To Survive a Breakup in Relationships in Nigeria
If you’ve ever been dumped in Nigeria, you know that the pain is different. One minute, you’re deeply in love, planning your wedding hashtag and baby names, and the next, you’re scrolling through your chat history like a forensic investigator, wondering where it all went wrong.
You might have thought you were special, immune to the tragedy of heartbreak, but my dear, breakfast is served hot and fresh every day in this country. Our ancestors didn’t prepare us for the trauma of being ghosted after introducing someone to our parents. Worse still, if your relationship ends in a scandal, you might just wake up and find yourself trending on X.
However, fear not, dear reader! Whether you’ve been served a painful plate of heartbreak or you’re in a relationship with rocky grounds, this guide is for you. Here’s how to survive a breakup in relationships and avoid becoming the next viral ‘breakfast’ meme.
10 Tips On How To Survive a Breakup in Relationships
1. Accept That It Has Happened
The first stage of a Nigerian breakup is denial. You’ll sit in your room, staring at your phone, waiting for your ex to send a “just kidding” message. My dear, they are not kidding. If someone tells you, “It’s not you, it’s me,” believe them. It is them, and it has always been them.
Don’t waste your time trying to analyze their last “good morning” text for hidden meanings. Nigerians have mastered the art of silent breakups. One day, they just stop replying, and before you know it, they are posting cute couple pictures with someone else.
To survive this, accept reality early. Take a journal and write down everything that happened, pull out your phone, and make a video or a voice memo talking about what transpired. Cry if you must, but don’t let your tears spoil your phone screen. Things are expensive in this economy.
Reflect on what worked and what didn’t work. Post-breakup introspection can help provide valuable insights and ensure that you don’t repeat past mistakes.
2. Resist the Urge to Post Cryptic Quotes
We know heartbreak makes people emotional, but please, I beg you in the name of all that is good, don’t share lyrics of heartbreak songs or post quotes like:
“Some people are lessons, not blessings.” “You will miss me when I’m gone.”
“God removes people from your life for a reason.” “I was too good for him anyway.”
The only thing worse than being dumped is making it obvious that you’re suffering. If you must post anything, let it be motivational quotes that make people think you are thriving, even if you cried yourself to sleep the night before. Better still, post an “outside enjoying life” video. Let them see you turning up at a party, even if you went home immediately after to cry into your pillow. Fake it till you heal!
3. Block, Mute, Delete: The Holy Trinity of Moving On
One of the biggest mistakes Nigerians make after a breakup is staying in contact with their exes. Block them. Mute them. Delete their number. You are not a monitoring spirit.
If you continue to check their WhatsApp status, Snapchat, and Instagram story every day, you will only hurt yourself. The pain of seeing them post, “Best life ever!” while you are drowning in your pool of tears will break you completely.
Remember, out of sight, out of mind. Block their number, mute their social media updates, and avoid mutual friends who will gleefully update you on how well they are doing. It’s for your sanity. Maintaining distance from your ex can be beneficial for you and perhaps your ex. It allows you space to heal without the constant reminder of what was.
4. Avoid Calling Your Ex “Just to Check on Them”
You say you just want to check in? Liar. We both know you’re hoping they’ll say, “I miss you too, let’s get back together.”
The only thing worse than being dumped is embarrassing yourself by begging to come back. Nigerians have egos. If they dumped you, they are unlikely to come back unless their new relationship crashes. Even then, do you really want to be somebody’s backup plan?
Instead of calling your ex, call your friends. Preferably, the dramatic ones, who will remind you why they were trash in the first place. “Was it not this same person who borrowed your AirPods and never returned them?” That’s the energy you need!
5. Upgrade Yourself
Nothing annoys an ex more than seeing you glow up after they left. Nigerians hate to see their ex doing better than them, so your best revenge is to level up.
Create a playlist that mirrors your journey, dance unapologetically, start going to the gym, buy new clothes, learn a new skill, get a fresh haircut, or a fire wig. Post a gorgeous picture of yourself. Trust me, your ex will see it and immediately start wondering if leaving you was a mistake. And if you want to make them cry, post a picture with someone new. Even if it’s just your cousin, let the world wonder.
6. Find Comfort in Food
You are heartbroken, not on a hunger strike. Eat! Nigerian heartbreak hits differently when you’re on an empty stomach. Get yourself some pepper soup, shawarma, jollof rice, and ice cream, and let the healing begin. You can eat whatever comfort food you want on the initial day, but when your healing begins, switch to eating healthy.
Be careful not to overeat. Eat in moderation because your revenge body is still under construction.
7. Don’t Rush Into Another Relationship
We know you want to prove that you’ve moved on, but don’t let “let me just date someone to pepper my ex” land you in another toxic situation. Rebound relationships rarely work, especially in Nigeria, where everyone somehow knows everyone. Imagine getting into a new relationship only to find out your new partner is your ex’s cousin. Breakfast part two, served hot and fresh!
Instead of rushing into something new, take time to heal. Being single is not a curse. Invest in your non-romantic relationships and enjoy experiences without the compromises that come with relationships, focus on yourself, build your confidence, and when the right person comes along, you won’t even need to fake happiness; you’ll be living it. Relish this era of being single, it’s yours.
8. Surround Yourself with Drama-Free Friends
Not all friends are helpful after a breakup. Some will encourage you to send unnecessary messages like, “You will regret losing me!” My dear, they won’t regret anything. Protect your privacy by keeping intimate details of your breakup away from “friends” who aren’t really friends. The less ammunition you provide, the less likely you are to become the subject of gossip.
Be clear about your boundaries and surround yourself with friends who will respect your boundaries, drag you out of sadness, take you out, and remind you of your worth. These are the people who will snatch your phone when you start typing, “I miss you.” Choose wisely.
9. Travel If You Can, a Change of Scenery Helps
If your breakup was particularly messy, leave that city for a while. A change of scenery does wonders for the soul.
Go to Abuja if you live in Lagos, go to Lagos if you don’t already live in Lagos, or even travel to your village and let your grandmother cook fresh soup for you. Something about being in a different environment helps shift your perspective. And if nothing else, it reduces the chances of accidentally bumping into your ex at a restaurant or the club. Travel to places you’ve never been, take up hobbies that intrigue you, and immerse yourself in cultures different from your own.
10. Remember: Nobody Has Ever Died from Heartbreak
Finally, and most importantly, you will be fine. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but in a few months, you’ll look back and wonder why you were even crying over someone whose only personality trait was posting “Monday motivation” quotes.
Time heals everything. Keep your head up, block them if necessary, and move on gracefully. And one day, when you’re truly over it, you’ll hear your ex is struggling, and you’ll smile knowing that you dodged a bullet.
If you find yourself unable to cope, experiencing prolonged sadness, or having thoughts of self-harm, then it’s time to seek professional help. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and there is no shame in having to ask for help from a therapist.
Your value is not tied to your relationship status. Embrace your individuality, celebrate your accomplishments, and know you are enough and whole on your own. Your healing process might not be linear or as straightforward as everyone expects, but you’ll survive. If there’s one thing Nigerians are good at, it’s survival.
It does not matter if it’s surviving the economy or surviving heartbreak, we always find a way. So, the next time someone says, “Breakfast is inevitable,” just smile and remember that even if you do get served, you now have the ultimate survival guide.
Stay strong, stay fabulous, and most importantly, never let them see you suffer.
All images are sourced from unsplash
What's Your Reaction?
