My Sherpa

He handed me the cup of hot choco I had been staring at wantonly and held my small, cold shivering hands in his big warm hands.

“You see, life is just like the Himalayas. Cold, tough, harsh. I want to be a strong guide that helps you navigate through this rough life. Allow me to be your Sherpa…”

“She-Shepherd?? As in shepherd over a sheep? D-Do I look like a ruminant animal to you? I mean, I know I look like a hot mess right now, but don’t you think calling me an animal is going a bit too far?! I barely even know you.”

He let go of my hands shocked, and then he started to laugh. It was awkward at first, but then it slowly grew to a burst of heartfelt belly-deep laughter. It sounded rich and genuine. Something in my belly fluttered and I told myself it was because I had not eaten for three days.

I clutched my belly and smiled sheepishly at him. He seemed to get the code and immediately ordered me a burger. I had never had one before but I had seen it in enough American dramas to know it was a meal to look forward to.

After doing two backflips in my mind, I put on my most confident look and let out a cool-headed “thank you.” He responded with a dismissive wave and started smiling brightly at me again.

After clearing my plate, I cleared my throat awkwardly and faced the stranger in front of me with newfound confidence. He looked unfazed. There was something about the confidence he was emanating that made him appear surreal. I found it extremely attractive.

“So… Why are you doing all these again?”

“It’s simple. I want your body. I loved it the moment I walked past it. I could tell you were very curvy underneath those heaps of baggy clothes, and the more you shivered under the rain, the more certain I was that you had a very blessed figure underneath. I want to see it.”

Definitely not the words I expected to hear.

“What the fuck did I just hear?! No wait, wait. Maybe I’m overthinking his statements like I always do. Why would a complete stranger approach me, tell me he wants to guide me through life, then buy me dinner, just so he could tell me he wants to knack? It makes no sense at all.”

“Are you telling me that the only reason why you are doing all these is just so that I can sleep with you?? Even if I look miserable, did you think I would be so cheap as to sell my body for a burger and a cup of hot chocolate?! Do I look that pathetic to you?!”

“Mmm-hmmm. You definitely look pathetic. Just not to me. You look like the next Miss Universe and I want access to your body so that I can train you to become le modèle extraordinaire that I am envisioning you to become. You have the right face and perfect body. What do you say?”

The French part was still confusing me.

Loo model extra-what now? What does that even mean?

“You’re not saying anything, Miss…”

I tapped my forehead and laughed awkwardly before responding. I had forgotten to introduce myself when I entered the cafe. With all the sweet aroma dancing around, and my grumbling tummy, introducing myself was the last thing on my mind.

“Yvonne… Yvonne Ronalds. Pleased to meet you Mr…”

“… Sharp. Michael Sharp. Please to meet you too, Miss Ronalds.”

It was only for a brief moment, but that simple handshake carried a lot of meaning to me. It was the first time in a long time that anyone had treated me like a human being. Not to mention a valuable human.

I have value too. I can also have hopes and dreams like any kid my age. I can also make a name for myself. And I owe to this angel in front of me that calls himself my shepherd. Wait, wait… maybe Jesus finally heard my prayers and came to my rescue. After all, He is the good shepherd.

“So, what do I do sir?”

“Well, we’re going to start by cleaning you up properly. However, before we get into that, I want to gauge your drive. In this life, only those that are unafraid to seize their goals ever make it. How ambitious are you? What’s your drive? When you answer this, I’ll decide if I want to take you in or not.”

My drive, then? What drives you, Yvonne Ronalds?

I watched as his amber eyes pierced deep into my golden brown irises. They kept searching as I contemplated whether I should stay and narrate my story to the stranger in front of me, or thank God for the free meal I had just gotten and walk back out into the rain.

I stayed.

“Well, I don’t know if I have ambition. What I do know is that I’m tired of the trenches. I want out. I’m tired of doing odd jobs and watching old, disgusting men drool over my body. I legit had to start wearing oversized clothes and sweatshirts just so I could comfortably work around them. I don’t want to be too greedy by saying I have a dream, but I sure as hell am tired of this type of living.”

His broad shoulders heaved up and came down slowly as though he was disappointed with my answer. I pinched myself quietly and resolved that I would save myself the embarrassment of him trying to encourage me after letting me off. I had gotten enough of that in my lifetime. I didn’t want any more.

“Look at me, Yvonne. Stop hiding those pretty eyes of yours. You would make an incredible face model with those eyes and lips. Anyway, I loved your response. It was honest and straight to the point. At least I now know what I’ll be working with. One last question though…”

“… Working with? I’m going to start working with you?!”

“Calm your horses, Missy. Yeah, but I need one last question answered.”

Squinting with doubtful eyes, I waited to hear what his all-determining question was going to be about.

He didn’t seem to have any reservations about picking a girl from the streets and feeding her, so why the sudden scepticism now?

“Even though you are blessed with very mature proportions, I don’t need to ask you to know that you are a minor. My question is, do you have any parents or guardians I need to take permission from? I don’t want anyone to arrest me for kidnapping.”

Parents or guardians? Hmm… now I’m not too sure if I should be completely honest with him. If I tell him I ran away from my aunt’s house he might send me back there and that’s the last thing I want right now.

“My parents died in a car crash ten years ago. Since then, I’ve been moving from one relative’s house to another, but none of them has treated me like one of their own when I stayed with them. I started staying with my aunt but then I ran away from home and I don’t plan on going back there.”

“You ran away? Can I ask why?”

It wasn’t a subject I liked to remember. Those were the darkest moments of my life and I hated having to deal with the reality of them so I often fantasize and fill my mind with my imaginary world instead.

“I’d rather not be honest.”

“Well, I’m going to need to know that for this to work. I can’t just pick you up, clean you and make you a star without knowing your past. So, no matter how dark it is, I promise not to judge you. But I’m going to need you to tell me, Yvonne.”

Tears were already gathering around the corners of my eyes. I raised my red eyes to look him square in the face before responding.

“Fine. I’ll tell you about my miserable past. It’s not like I have anything else to offer you and you want to do so much for me. It’s the least I can do. Here it goes…”

***

After over two hours of narrating my teary tale, I found myself shivering from something other than the cold that was biting my fingers. No matter how many times I recalled it, the memories seemed to always find a way to haunt me. If anything I felt more vulnerable now that I was telling it to someone.

I watched his eyes turn red as he listened to my story. The entire world seemed to be buzzing around us but we were just locked in our own universe.

“S-So you mean to tell me that you lost your parents when you were seven, and have been moving from one relative’s house to the other just so you could have a roof over your head and warm meals in your belly?”

“Lol, yes. Though I was out of their roofs most of the time hawking away, and I barely got warm meals. I also didn’t get any new clothes, even during celebrations. Still, I continued to persevere. I wasn’t going to give up or give in to life’s challenges.”

He heaved another deep sigh and looked away from me before looking at me straight in the face. I could see him desperately fighting to stay macho even after hearing my horrid history.

“And you’ve been dealing with sexual abuse for the past two years from your older cousin? Why didn’t you report him to your aunt? You should have reported him to his parents so they would stop him from doing it again. Why don’t sexually assaulted women ever speak up?! Why??”

I thought about what he said too.

Why didn’t most females come out with their rape and sexual harassment stories? Why did they always suck it up and accept their fate?

I thought about my story again and that was when the answer hit me.

We don’t bother telling anyone because even when we do, we only get discriminated against. We never get any real help. It’s crazy, but some people go as far as blaming us. It’s not worth it.

After coming to the conclusion, I raised my previously lowered eyelids and gave him my response.

“And who says I didn’t? What makes you think I didn’t tell my aunt the first seven times he rummaged through my torn clothes and stuck his member into any hole he found? What makes you say so?”

His eyes widened in shock as the colour went out of his face. He tried talking thrice but they only came out as stutters. He seemed to lose the battle of the tears that he had been desperately trying to win since I started narrating my story. The transparent liquid flowed past his jaw and found rest on his Adam’s apple.

“What happened when you opened up to your aunt.”

This time I laughed. I had never expected the kind of reaction I got that day. Since then, nothing could manage to surprise me anymore.

“She beat the living daylight out of me lol. She said she knew I didn’t have much of a future, but she never imagined that I would try to destroy her son’s too. She accused me of seducing her son and sent me out into the cold, rainy night. I had nowhere to go so I sat on the floor outside until dawn when it stopped raining.”

“Wait what?! You could have died from pneumonia!”

“Oh, I thought I would too. At one point, I stopped feeling my fingers because they had gotten numb. It was drizzling softly but there was a lot of wind so it was really cold. Still, she walked outside at the break of dawn and instructed me to go and start my chores for the day like nothing had happened.”

He dropped his face into his hands and started crying more visibly. I could hear groans and his body was shaking uncontrollably.

What’s with him now? I know my story is pretty sad but he doesn’t need to get so worked up about it.

“My daughter died from pneumonia when she was only five years old. If she was still alive, the both of you would be age mates right now. She was always interested in fashion and she had the most beautiful smile. I already knew from that age that she would grow into a fine model. It’s why I started a modelling agency for kids.”

Oh. He’s lost someone too. Now I understand his sudden interest in me. He probably got reminded of his little girl.

“Oh. I see… I’m so sorry about your loss Mr Sharp. I’d love to leave this hell hole and make something of my life. I want to become successful and prove to my aunt that I could make it in life without her help. I want to so badly. Can you make that happen, sir?”

Mr Sharp started cleaning his eyes furiously and then he suddenly started smiling brightly again.

“Sure. Like I said when I started, I want to be your sherpa. I want to guide you through the tough and scary parts of the entertainment industry. Also…”

“Also?”

“… I’d like to become your legal guardian if you want. We can start all the paperwork together and process your adoption as well as your signing into my modelling agency. It’s gonna be a tough journey, but I’m strong and reliable. I promise to take care of you. What do you say, Yvonne?”

“I say…”

Lead me on, my Sherpa….

All images are sourced from istockphoto; unsplash